Under my protection
by BadWolf85
Summary: "Doctor…do you think you could bring me back before my classes start in the morning?"."Of course, Clara. What could go wrong?" She grinned at that. "Do you want me to do a list?" (I'm terrible at summaries, but this story has an alien ship on Earth, a grumpy twelfth, UNIT, and even another doctor whose name is John Smith.)
1. 01 - The promise

Welcome to this new fanfiction. I hope you like it.

First of all, I want to especially thank Calgarry, my beta reader, for making this story possible, thank you very much ;)

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 **CHAPTER 1: THE PROMISE**

He spent a lot of time trying to find her, maybe too much. The Doctor didn't know why, but that girl was appearing through the universe over and over… "That is impossible!" was the only thing the eleventh doctor could think while he tried to understand its meaning.

At first, he only sought a coherent response. She was a mystery beyond his knowledge, and that was improper for a Time Lord. Later, he became truly obsessed with that puzzle. After all, she was the woman who died twice trying to save him.

Maybe He would never understand it, but the Doctor wanted to return the favor in some way. So when the girl called the Tardis, it only took five minutes to materialize his ship next to her door. That was the day he found her again, the same day the Wi-Fi lost its control over humanity.

His two hearts were shattered at the sight. He had returned only to witness her death, again. "Oh no, you won't. Not this time Clara…" he said, typing on the keyboard as fast as he could, trying to send back the girl's consciousness. "…I promise you."

The final code was sent and her body exhaled for air. "It's ok, It's ok… you're fine, you're back…" Carefully, he hold her head and looked at the last message sent through the computer screen:  
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 _Under my protection. The Doctor._

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She looked at the screen of her phone: 14th January. It was the only proper way to know how much time she had spent aboard the Tardis. "Three weeks since Christmas and the dream crabs."

Clara had changed for sure and even the doctor was a little less grumpy than usual. But even that didn't change the fact that she didn't want to celebrate that festivity. A lot of losses to remember, and of course, she know that the Doctor didn't like it, for heaven's sake, He spent a whole millennium trapped in a town called Christmas! Who would want to remember it? Therefore she was surprised when he took her to New Paris, in 2075, to celebrate it. "The holographic fireworks were fantastic," Clara thought smiling as she finished packing her bag.

When she got to the console, she hoped to see the Time Lord playing with cables and causing a short circuit, but the room was actually quiet. Only the ambient noise of the ship could be heard. "This is weird." Clara climbed the stairs to find the entire wall full of symbols and handwriting. "Sometimes, I wonder why you allow him to do this vandalism in your walls. You really should hide the chalk." The Tardis hummed in response. The girl followed a trail of books scattered on the floor until she reached the old armchair.

She opened her mouth to speak but close it again. The Time Lord was asleep. "Yeah… definitely really weird." She had never, ever, seen the doctor sleeping. In fact, didn't know if his kind could do it. He was always running, philosophizing about trivial things or playing with his impossible devices, but there he was, leaning back in his armchair, with a book about to slip from his hands.

A warm smile appeared in her face. It also was the first time she saw him so relaxed. Even his eyebrows were less furrowed than usual. Clara dropped his bag aside and took a small blanket, which surely, the Tardis had left there on purpose. She come closer and began to cover him with it until she heard a low voice very close to her ear. "Do not dare to hide my chalk." The girl jumped back as the Doctor's eyes opened.

"Oh my god… Don't do that again!" she said recovering her breath. "Wait a minute, your chalk? Do you know how childish it is? And how did you hear that if you were sleeping?"

The doctor closed his book and stand up "Of course I wasn't sleeping. I was meditating. The only time my brain goes to sleep is when other people speak."

She crossed her arms. "Sure… but for your information, I'm not cleaning this mess."

The Time Lord approached the bookcase when he noticed the bag on the floor. His eyes looked up to Clara and the eyebrows frowned again. "Eh… Doctor there is something I need to tell you…"

He practically ignored her and went downstairs to the console. "Ok, I can admit that Feraxus wasn't the best place to go," he said starting the engines "But this time I found an incredible planet, you'll going to love Raela. It rains up, can you imagine that?!"

"Feraxus was ok but…"

"Well, in that case, I think you're trying to carry too much luggage to Raela, which would be inappropriate because the gravity is considerably higher… and I didn't want to mention it, but your weight has increased in recent weeks." A heavy sigh was what he got for an answer. Even the old box was remaining silent.

"Ok…if that is what you want I'll get you home," he said simply, typing down new coordinates.

She would have taken his arm, but remembered that his new self didn't like the human contact at all. "Doctor, I want you to know that last weeks have been amazing… despite when that big slug spat on me."

"Clara, that is the usual greeting from Feraxurians, they were being kind." A shadow of a smile appeared on his face just for one second.

"Sorry, did you just smile?"

"Of course not, my brain is trying to understand how your little humans' pudding brains could be more interesting than the anti-gravitational rain from Raela…"

"Doctor, we talked about this."

"Well… maybe my brain was sleeping in that precise moment. It could happened you know and…"

She just needed him to shut up so she gentle grabbed his arm. It worked. He tensed like if her fingers were burning him. "You know that I've to go back. Just for a week. Please…" After a few endless seconds The Tardis made her characteristic sound. Clara took his bag and went to the doors, knowing that her flat would be on the other side.

The Doctor looked up, at her. "Clara… just be careful."

The girl smiled at that. "Don't worry, I'll take all the tipped scissors from my students and won't let them sharpen their pencils."

He looked annoyed "I'm serious, Clara."

She just nodded, and exited the blue box.

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Although the Tardis had gone into to the time vortex several minutes earlier, he was still looking at the door. "So… We're alone again. How about a little trip to Raela my old friend?" He was about to set the coordinates when the phone rang.

He just rolled his eyes. "Really… Someday I'll have to put that damn thing back into the console unit…" he said, heading for the door and picking up the phone. "This is the Tardis and no, it's NOT your courier service, so if you have left here your toothbrush…Hello? …Clara is that you?"

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 **Thanks for reading my story! If you like it, please, leave a review ;)**


	2. 02 - What could go wrong?

**Thank you for all your kind reviews, I really appreciate them ;) So here it is the second chapter. It's a bit shorter but I'll try to upload the next one soon.**

 **And of course, thanks again Calgarry for your fantastic work beta reading it ;)**

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 _._

 _He just rolled his eyes. "Really… Someday I'll have to put that damn thing back into the console unit…" he said, heading for the door and picking up the phone. "This is the Tardis and no, it's NOT your courier service, so if you have left here your toothbrush…Hello? …Clara is that you?"_

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 **Chapter 2: What could go wrong?**

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Clara went to bed early that day. She didn't want to be late for her first day of school. Even less so considering that at last, the Doctor had carried her to the correct date, something that only happens one out of a hundred times.

The alarm clock rang and the girl awoke, upset. Her fingers vaguely slid on the clock but to her surprise it didn't stop. Then she realized. "I'm really, really going to kill him!" It was the only coherent thought she could have at 3 in the morning, as the Tardis materialized in her room. She barely had time to turn on the bedside lamp when the doctor rushed out of the cabin.

"Why are you still in your pyjamas? Didn't you get my message?"

She was about to through him a pillow when her phone buzzed. New message. "Forget your boring human things. I'll pick you up tonight." She read as the phone buzzed again. "Don't even think about bring the shoes to reach shelves."

Clara rolled her eyes "Seriously… You took two thousand years to learn how to pilot your ship; I hope you don't need another millennium to know how to send messages on time. Anyway, what's the rush?"

The doctor began to roam the flat, glancing all around. "UNIT call me for… a thing. Apparently, they have registered an unidentified alien message," he said half-heartedly.

"And why they need you? I thought that the military has all kinds of equipment to deal with those things," she said from her room.

He noticed a pile of papers on the coffee table and picked one up. "Kate talked about some flight data couldn't decipher. It is a simple task, will only take us a couple of hours."

A minute later, Clara left her room dressed and looked incredulously at him. "And why do I have to go? After all, you shouldn't even be here until next Wednesday!" He raised an eyebrow as the girl bit her lip, she didn't mean it to sound so rude. Fortunately, her comment was completely ignored.

"Question: what does the word benign mean?"

"Sorry, what?!"

The Doctor raised the paper in front of her face. "Answer: benign is what you will be after you be eight." She grabbed it, annoyed. "And you'll be surprised with test number 43…apparently Franklin discovered electricity by rubbing two cats backwards…I must check that later."

Clara looked down at the pile of exams on the table. "Did you really read all of this in five minutes?"

Now he was annoyed "Don't be ridiculous! I also ordered the magazines in alphanumeric order and fed your cat. By the way, it doesn't like you at all."

Clara was trying to order the papers again "No you didn't. I don't even have a cat!"

"Ok, that explains why it doesn't like you."

The girl was beginning to lose her patience. Perhaps because she had just been awakened at 3 am without a very good reason. Then she realized that the doctor was on his way to the box.

"How could THIS be more exciting than listening to an unknown record of an alien activity on your planet?" he asked while entering in the Tardis and leaving the doors open on purpose.

Clara looked at the tests "I hate you…" she murmured.

"No, you don't," a distant voice said from the inside.

She picked up her bag, which hadn't yet been unpacked, and went to the ship. "Doctor…do you think you could bring me back before my classes start in the morning?"

"Of course. What could go wrong?"

She grinned at that. "Do you want me to do a list?"

"Come on… It's only the translation of a flight data record. When we finish, I'll take you to have the best breakfast you've ever had in the nineteenth century. After all, you'll need it to evaluate those… sinister tests." he said with a disgusted gesture.

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The Tardis materialized. As they went out, a group of soldiers began to surround the ship, with their guns pointed at them. The doctor rolled his eyes as he closed the doors.

Clara started to worry "Where are we?"

"In the tower of London, the central base of UNIT" Said a woman approaching them. "Good to see you again, Doctor" She did a gesture to the soldiers and they lowered their arms "And sorry for this spectacle, they just love to do that"

"Kate Lethbridge-Stewart… Did you call me?"

The scientific urged them to follow her "I'm afraid you're late, that was two months ago."

"Not my fault. Clara loses much time thinking about what to wear."

"Hey! I'm here you know!"

Kate opened a door and they entered a huge room full of computers, agitated people talking on phones and a big screen in the middle. In it they could see a map of the earth with a big red spot on the Pacific Ocean.

Immediately, Clara pointed at it. "What is that?"

Kate sighed "That… is an international crisis we have to deal with. Otherwise, the future of human race is at stake."

 **To be Continued…**

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If you like it, reviews make me write faster :D


	3. 03 - Underwater threat

**Hi everyone! Here is the next chapter.** **First at all I want to thank my wonderful followers and of course my reviewers: Bejai and thefoxeyhoneybadger thank you ;) Yes… It's going to have a dramatic part in later chapters so don't miss it!**

 **I also want to thank Calgarry for doing a fantastic work beta reading this fic! :)**

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 _._

 _Kate opened a door and they entered a huge room full of computers, agitated people talking on phones and a big screen in the middle. In it they could see a map of the earth with a big red spot on the Pacific Ocean._

 _Immediately, Clara pointed at it. "What is that?"_

 _Kate sighed, "That… is an international crisis we have to deal with. Otherwise, the future of human race is at stake"_

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 **CHAPTER 3: Underwater threat**

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Kate was more worried than usual. As chief scientist of UNIT, she should be used to dealing with all sorts of adversities and extra-terrestrial events. After all, her remit was to investigate and combat paranormal and alien threats to the Earth. Perhaps because of that, it was ironic that she didn't know how to deal with a natural disaster. That was why she called the Doctor, hoping he could provide some help.

She pressed a remote control and a slide appeared on the central screen. On it, the alien ship could be seen entering the atmosphere, a bit blurry.

"The ship took less than a minute to descend. In that moment we received a message from it. Although our best experts are working on it, we couldn't translate it yet."

"I don't know why I'm not surprised," the Doctor said, playing with a lot of clips that found on a nearby table.

Clara gave him a slap on his hand. "Pay attention."

"Sorry, this movie it's too long and they didn't give us popcorn," he said aloud for everyone to hear.

Kate ignored the comment and passed another slide. A map of Earth was displayed. "This was the crash site, in the Pacific Ocean. More precisely, the ship sank in the Mariana Trench. As you know, that is the deepest part of the world's ocean." She pointed a red area. "It's also the most unknown area for the scientific community. Throughout history, only four descents have been achieved. The last one was made by the director James Cameron who…"

The Doctor interrupted her. "Oh no no no…. no way are you talking about that rude human. He's in my blacklist."

Clara looked at him, surprised. "Why? Don't you like his movies? And do you have a blacklist at all?"

"Of course I have one. That racist human is on it for directing that annoying film called Aliens, which was even worse than the first one. Why all of you think that every alien in the universe want to invade your little planet? It exposes you as a race with egocentrism problems."

Clara gave him an ironic smile. "Well, let me think. The Sycorax wanted to enslave our race."

"Apart from that."

"Oh… that Slitheen thing. I watched Harriet Jones on TV that day."

"Apart from that."

"An entire Dalek Army invaded our planet."

"Come on… Daleks don't even count. They would do the same on every planet."

"Ok, what about Cybermen?"

"Oh for Rassilon's sake, just shut up. You are interrupting Kate. What a lack of respect, Miss Oswald!" Clara smirked at that.

"By the way, if you don't hurry up with the slides, I'll going to add you to my blacklist…" the Doctor looked suspiciously at the blond woman, "…and I think that UNIT is capable of going down there and investigating that ship by themselves. Why did you call me?"

Kate sighed heavily. "When the ship crashed, we didn't receive any more signals. Nothing happened after that. We even checked all levels of seismic activity, in case the hit and its proximity to this trench could have caused a seaquake. But we found nothing."

"But?"

"But some weeks ago, our indicators soared. Our engineering expert believes the ship may not be bearing the pressure of water and its fuselage is beginning to subside. We don't know what kind of engines or energy it used, but… what we do know, is that it's causing high toxicity levels in the area."

In that moment, the Doctor and the young girl exchanged glances.

"Toxicity?" Asked The Doctor.

"At first, it was only a minor escape without major consequences, but it has spread very fast. We found many dead species in the zone and if we don't act soon, the poison could spread throughout the whole ocean. Our expert estimated that it will be only a matter of time that all the water on Earth will be contaminated."

The Doctor began to pace around. "How could it be possible? No, better question, how much time is left?"

"Weeks, days? We don't know."

"Okay, it's a big deal. But you still didn't tell me why did you call me? What can I do?"

"Last week, we have prepared various teams. One of them is researching for a chemical compound capable of neutralizing the poison, in case the other team failed in their mission. Unfortunately, they haven't discovered a cure yet."

At that moment, a man entered in the room. Everyone stood up and saluted him. Well… except for the visitors. Clara looked at him curiously. He was in his forties, and of course, he had the perfect physical profile for a soldier, tall, strong, and the uniform he wore hinted that he was a high military rank.

"Sorry for the delay. I presume you must be The Doctor. I'm the new brigadier Alan Wilson," said the man, stretching out his hand.

The Time Lord just looked at the hand, and turned away to look at the map "No you don't. You are blond and you don't even have a moustache. That's incoherent."

The officer looked at him, confused, as Clara tried to do her best smile and shook his hand. "Nice to meet you. Yes, he's the Doctor and I'm Clara Oswald."

"Good. In that case I presume that Stewart did tell you what it's our priority mission. We need to repair the breaches on the fuselage to prevent the toxic dumping. We were preparing a submarine to do the repair tasks…"

"At last, someone who goes to the point," said the Time Lord, as Kate rolled her eyes. "But sorry, you're wrong. Do you think that putting gum in a pipe with holes will stop your problem? Answer, no. You can't repair it from the outside. Even a pudding military half brain like you would know that!"

"Excuse me?"

"You have to do it manually, but no diver can stand water pressure down there." The Doctor was talking so fast that everybody assumed he was just thinking aloud "On the other hand, you can't enter in that ship without opening another hole, which would be rather stupid. So…"

"So we can't do it, but you can," the brigadier approached the other man, interrupting him. "You can materialize your Tardis into the ship without damaging the structure. And then, we could manually close the gaps from the inside."

The doctor held his gaze to the other man. "That's suicidal! We don't know how much damage the ship has. You also forgot to mention the toxicity levels and ... let me think, oh yes, that water pressure which could make your head explode. Tiny details! But, don't worry about the last part, you wouldn't notice losing your head."

"Let me be clear. You will help us for good or…"

"…or what?" Asked The Doctor defiantly.

Clara had enough. She took a chair, placed it in front of them and sat down.

"What are you doing?" The Time lord asked a bit worried. For as long he had travelled with her, had learned to read her gestures, and that one, meant problems.

"Well, if we are waiting for OUR planet to die, at least I'll be comfortable," she said, staring at the Doctor and folding her arms.

"What do you expect me to do? Use a magic wand and repair that ship while I pull a rabbit out of the hat?"

"I'd pay to see that, but no." She stood up and went to him. "I expect you to be the clever man who can see what others don't. The man that will do anything to save the day, so start earning your wage!"

The Doctor was about to reply, when he realized a small detail that he had overlooked.

"Oh…" He snapped his fingers and pointed the girl. "Clara Oswald, you're brilliant!"

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 **To be continued**

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 **Note: No, I don't hate James Cameron, and I even think that the second part of alien was great. But that line in "Last Christmas" episode was hilarious so I wanted to repeat it again. Don't blame me.**

 **Note 2: Leave a review or I'm going to exterminate you! :D**


	4. 04 - The records

**Hi all! I'm back with another chapter. As always, I want to thank my reviewers, Nint3ndozzzz, crazycow000 and guests for their valuable comments. And of couse, Calgarry, my fantastic beta reading! ;)**

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 _"What do you expect me to do? Use a magic wand and repair that ship while I pull a rabbit out of the hat?"_

 _"I'd pay to see that, but no." She stood up and went to him. "I expect you to be the clever man who can see what others don't. The man that will do anything to save the day, so start earning your wage!"_

 _The Doctor was about to reply, when he realized a small detail that he had overlooked._

 _"Oh…" He snapped his fingers and pointed the girl. "Clara Oswald, you're brilliant!"_

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 **Chapter 4: The records**

The Doctor and Clara went to the basement of the Tower of London. There was a huge laboratory where a team of scientists were working on a remedy to solve the problem. As they entered, a man greeted them. He was young, very young to be working there. Clara assumed he wasn't more than twenty-five years old. The man was tall and thin, with dark hair and hazel eyes that were looking at them.

"It's an honour to meet you at last!" he said enthusiastically. "I'm Doctor John Smith."

The Time Lord looked at him, astonished. "No way…really? John Smith? Since when have you had that name?"

The young doctor looked puzzled. "Since the day I was born I suppose."

"You have progenitors with little imagination then," the Doctor said, as he stared at him with unusual interest. "Sorry, have we meet before?"

"I'm afraid not."

"Are you sure? Because I think I have seen your face before… somewhere."

Clara coughed. After all, they didn't have time to lose. "Well…Kate Stewart sent us here because we want to listen the last message of the alien ship. The Doctor thinks it could have information about its toxic cargo. If we're lucky with that, we could help find a remedy."

Smith went to a computer next to them. "Oh yes, of course. I'm working on its translation but I'm afraid that I only made out a few words from it."

"Ohhh, so you are the… _expert_ …engineer of UNIT, and you are also a doctor, who coincidentally is call John Smith," said the Doctor, as he narrowed his eyes suspiciously.

John just smiled at that. He had been warned about the Doctor's character. "That's me. Is there something I can do to help you?"

"Yes…" The Doctor sit down in a nearby chair and put his feet on the table where the computer was. "I need a coffee with eight sugar cubes. And don't do anything suspicious because I'll be watching you… John….Smith."

The engineer just rolled his eyes and went away. At the same time, the Doctor took from his pocket a small notebook.

"What is that?" Clara asked casually.

"This is my list of things to investigate," he answered.

"Do you have a list for everything?" she asked incredulously.

"How could he have that name? I don't trust him."

"Have you ever thought that it's such a common name because a lot of people has it? And… I have a better thing to investigate."

"And what is that?"

"You," she said simply. "We're alone now. Are you going to tell me what's wrong with you?"

"Sorry?"

"Since you got back to my apartment, you haven't stopped arguing with everyone because of stupid things."

"Nothing is wrong with me."

"For heaven's sake Doctor, you even have scolded with a plant that in Kate's office. A plant!"

"Because it wasn't doing photosynthesis correctly. Besides, it's not my fault that the rest of the universe is an idiot."

"Oh no, no, no, you're not going away that easily without telling me what's wrong. Do you think that I can ignore those big sad eyes of yours? And believe me, they are even bigger than your previous ones so it's absurd to deny it."

The Doctor sighed. "Your world is dying and you want to ask nonsense questions."

She crossed her arms. "For me it's important to know how you feel. Please, tell me what's wrong…"

The Doctor remained silence as he looked away. It took a few endless seconds until he spoke again. "Why do you want to leave the Tardis?"

The girl was taken aback. That question made her feel like if someone threw a brick to her face, really hard. Sometimes she forgot just how direct this version of the Doctor was.

"I…I don't want to leave the Tardis. How can you think that?"

"Clara you know what I mean, and please, just answer the question," he said with a very calm tone.

"It's just I want the things to be as they were before. When you came back every Wednesday and…"

"No. Don't make me say it, because I really don't want to."

"Say what?"

The Doctor rubbed his face as if he was trying to stop himself. He knew that was going to regret saying it, but couldn't stop. "You have no one waiting for you back at home."

Clara's eyes widened, but he didn't stop there. "Danny isn't there, you don't visit your father because you hate your step mother and you're always complaining about your students…but you still choose to go back there. It's like…like you're trying to escape from something or…someone."

The girl was speechless. She avoided looking at him, and the silence between them was getting awkward. Fortunately, Smith came back.

"Here you are. Black coffee with eight sugar cubes. I must insist that isn't very healthy, you can have a heart attack."

"Don't worry, I have another hearth to spare."

Smith noticed the awkward stares between them, so he spoke first. "How much time you'll need to do the translation?"

"Nothing. You only need to press the play button. Consider it a gift from my old blue friend over there." said the doctor drinking his coffee.

"Seriously?" the engineer said incredulously as the other man did a disgusted face.

"Too bitter…are you trying to poison me?"

"You got me. I'm a soviet Martian spy who want to kill you with my secret weapon, strong black coffee," Smith said dramatically as the girl smirked.

At that moment, the computer started to reproduce the message.

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 _Beta45 ship, calling Wintercells. We have an emergency of priority alpha on board, I repeat; we have an emergency of priority alpha on board. The engines are failing; we are crashing on a level five planet._

 _._

There was some interference on the record. In the background it could be heard sounds of shooting and other mixed voices.

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 _He's coming! Damn it! He's coming!_

 _This is the final report of beta45. The prisoners sabotaged the ship. No chance of survival. I…. I have set the emergency protocol and…_

 _._

A big roar could be heard along with some terrifying screams, and then everything went silent until the record stopped. Clara closed her eyes sadly.

"What…what was that?" Smith asked.

"He reported to Wintercells so it's pretty obvious," said the Doctor thinking aloud "Wintercells is a maximum security prison, so this ship, it's like a…what would you call it?"

"Like a space police car?" Clara guessed.

"More or less. And that thing…well, I presume it was the prisoner of this ship."

Smith was a bit disappointed. "I'm afraid this record didn't help us to know how to stop the contamination."

"On the contrary. If I remember rightly, these ships have engines that use denum energy. Cheap and very efficient. Harmless in space, but extremely unstable with water. It's possible that the engines of the ship are still active and malfunctioning."

"So? What can we do to stop it?" asked the engineer excitedly.

"Well…the good thing is that we can stop the source of the toxin. The bad thing is that we still need to going down there to do it," The Doctor said, very worried.

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 **To be continued…**

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 **If you like it, please, don't be lazy. The review button is right below here! :)**


	5. 05 - Trust me

**_Hi all! Thank you for your time and your reviews: Crazycow000 and last1stnding :) And of course, thank you Calgarry, my beta reading , for_ putting up with me! Hahaha.**

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 _"On the contrary. If I remember rightly, these ships have engines that use denum energy. Cheap and very efficient. Harmless in space, but extremely unstable with water. It's possible that the engines of the ship are still active and malfunctioning."_

 _"So? What can we do to stop it?" asked the engineer excitedly._

 _"Well…the good thing is that we can stop the source of the toxin. The bad thing is that we still need to going down there to do it," the Doctor said, very worried._

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 **Chapter 5: Trust me**

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Wilson looked around, astonished. "Wow…I read the file for this thing, but I could never have imagined that it'd be like this."

The Doctor looked at him expectantly. He never got bored of the first impression about the Tardis.

"How it can be round on the inside? I mean…outside, it's just a square box," the soldier asked, amazed.

"Really? What happened to the ' _it's bigger on the inside_ ' remark?" the Doctor said, disappearing downstairs. He was still unsure about bringing a soldier aboard. It was a very long time since the last occasion. "Never ended well, and never will do," he murmured to himself.

It was true he didn't have much choice. Kate flatly refused to let him go alone, and the _half-brigadier_ quickly volunteered to do the job, claiming it was his duty.

"Humans…as brave as idiots," he assumed. Apparently, being the president of Earth didn't give you a vote to decide. Not if a Lethbridge-Stewart gets involved, even if it was a strange female version. "They should have a special bossy gene for that," he thought as he started to put on the orange spacesuit.

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Clara entered the blue box with the last part of the equipment UNIT prepared for their expedition. She had deliberately taken a long time to do it. It was a way of not dealing with the impending conversation she had with the Doctor. She took a deep breath and headed to the console just to find it empty.

The brigadier took his spacesuit, and guessing whom the girl was looking for, he just pointed down. "He's there. Trying to burn this thing."

"To do what?" Clara asked as sparks came from downstairs.

The Doctor was in a small workshop under the control room. He already had the orange spacesuit on and it appeared that he was working on a small device.

"Hi. What are you doing?" the girl said as she finished the last steps down. "Do we need to call the fire department or something?"

He smirked "Just things. Pass me the sonic." She did as he asked, and he used it to attach a small device in his spacesuit helmet.

"Where is the pompous man? I don't like that soldier boy wandering around my ship alone. One of these days I'll have to childproof the Tardis."

"Do you mean Wilson? He's just putting on his spacesuit over there. Nothing to worry about."

"You never know. It would be better if you help him. He's capable of putting it on backwards."

Clara leaned against the wall, looking at him for a while as he finished installing the device.

After some minutes, the Time Lord was the first to break the silence. "Spit it out."

"Sorry?"

"You've been too quiet and that means two things. That either you're asleep, or you're chewing something over. As your eyes are open, I'm inclined to think the latter."

Clara began to play with her rings on her fingers nervously. "Why did you only get two space suits?"

The Doctor returned to his task. "Well…it's pretty obvious. Because we only need two."

"Oh. Is that all? Are you leaving me behind on purpose? I…I can't believe this."

The Doctor put down the screwdriver and looked up. He just wanted to scream at her that it was a suicidal mission. He didn't know what they would face down there. Yes, he just wanted to say as loudly as possible that it was the worst and the stupidest mission ever. It was a highly toxic environment; a ship succumbing under the pressure of water, with motors about to fission. And if that were not enough, they also know that it was a prison ship with a criminal on board. He didn't believe that there would be survivors after that crash, but he wasn't going to bet on that possibility.

Leaving her behind on purpose? Of course, that was the plan! He wanted to say that would do anything to keep her safe, no matter what it would take or what he would have to do. But instead, he just remained silent.

"Is it because you are.. angry with me? Is this your way to punish me?"

He looked at the helmet, satisfied with his work, then stood up. "What do you think I am? Your mother? I can't punish people and send them to their room…well, only sometimes…although now that I think about it, would be wonderful."

The girl crossed her arms, and he just exhaled. "But no, this time I need you here. Someone has to guide us and…I prefer if it's you. Besides, I'm not sure the _half-brigadier_ can distinguish his right from his left."

"First at all, I don't think he likes you calling him _half-brigadier._ And secondly, I think you're lying… as always"

The Doctor took her hand. It was such a rare gesture that she didn't expect it. "As much as I try, I couldn't be angry with you. Disappointed, maybe, but never angry. How could I be angry with you?" They stared at each other. "Clara, I'm not asking you to believe me. I'm asking you to _trust me."_

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* * *

.

The Time Lord began to make some final checks on the console unit. By activating a series of levers, a video signal appeared on the main monitor, showing everything the helmet had in front of it.

"Look, you need to stay alert of these signals. If any of them begins to rise you must report to us. Ok? I'm going to leave all audio channels open so we can talk to each other. It's really important to be aware of the indicators."

"Yes, yes. Indicators. Got it." Clara took the helmet sadly. "Why me? I mean…besides, you think he has a half-brain. I believe that Wilson is capable of doing this," she said, trying to convince him.

"Leaving a UNIT member alone in my Tardis? Never going to happen."

Clara stood on tiptoe to put the helmet on him, envying him for being taller. She did it very carefully; making sure that the suit was perfectly sealed. If the environment was as toxic as sensors showed, they couldn't take any chances.

When she finished with the helmet, her finger pointed to his chest. "You owe me a breakfast." The Doctor looked at her, confused. "In my apartment. You told me when we finish this, you'll take me to have the best breakfast in the nineteenth century. Unlike you, I would be really, really cross with you, if you…if you don't come back to fulfil that promise"

"Don't worry, there will be chocolate croissants." He winked at her and a smile appeared on her face. Footsteps sounded at their side as the brigadier talked to them "Well, are we ready?"

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* * *

.

They left the blue box as if walking on eggshells. Some metal containers were scattered on the floor, probably because of the crash.

"Who said spacecrafts had glamour? It seems like the cargo." Wilson said as he looked around.

The Doctor activated a little device in his wrist and immediately, the Tardis began receiving signals. "Levels?"

Inside the police box, Clara examined the readings that began to appear on the monitor. "The toxicity levels are high, but they aren't to the maximum yet." New readings were displayed as she talked. "Wait…a map of the ship just appeared. Let me see…ok. The control room is located on the upper level. Two floors above you."

The Doctor nodded, and the soldier went ahead cautiously. The alien ship seemed not to be in such bad shape after all. The Time Lord only took a few steps before stopping. He knew that Clara was watching the same thing he was through the camera installed on his helmet. So without looking away from ahead of him, he took the sonic screwdriver and pointed it to the Tardis. It only took one touch to lock the blue door. There was a heavy click sound. No way in, no way out.

Clara was looking at the screen "What was that noise?"

The Doctor closed his eyes for a moment, hating himself for lying to her. "Nothing important. Perhaps the pressure on the fuselage. Just focus on the readings, ok?"

.

 **To be continued**

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 **Thanks for reading it. I hope you like it, if so, please, leave a review :)**


	6. 06 - No way out

**Welcome back everyone! And thanks again for your feedback and comments!**

 **Last1stnding: After that, there is a vacancy for President of Earth xD**

 **Zaramcmillan30: I'm glad you like it :)**

 **Crazycow000: Well… Clara is going to slap him over and over until her hand turns red!**

 **Calgarry: Thanks again for your time beta reading this! ;)**

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 _He knew that Clara was watching the same thing he was through the camera installed on his helmet. So without looking away from ahead of him, he took the sonic screwdriver and pointed it to the Tardis. It only took one touch to lock the blue door. There was a heavy click sound. No way in, no way out._

 _Clara was looking at the screen "What was that noise?"_

 _The Doctor closed his eyes for a moment, hating himself for lying to her. "Nothing important. Perhaps the pressure on the fuselage. Just focus on the readings, ok?"_

 _._

* * *

 **Chapter 6: No way out**

They continued walking, following the instructions Clara was giving them from the Tardis. Although the suits were ready for extreme situations, the heat was stifling, because of the vapours the ship radiated.

They had to get to the control room, and as much as possible, turn off the motors of the ship. There was something odd about that place but neither of them said it aloud, out of fear of confirming their suspicions.

The brigadier tried to distract himself for not thinking about it. "Woah…so hot down here…I'm sweating like a sinner in church!"

The other man just rolled his eyes. "Next time, bring a fan instead of a gun. It'll be more useful for a posh soldier boy."

"Oh no, don't start again with that, Mister Pacifist Hippie. I'm not going to an unknown hostile place without my trusted Colt."

The doctor shook his head, annoyed. "Of course, if a toxic vapour appears just shoot it, so we end up with the problem."

Clara was biting her nails, observing in detail what the camera was transmitting. Ship corridors were in darkness, desolate, with flashing broken lights and an eerie silence. "According to the plans, now you have to turn right," she said in a too-hasty tone, eager to end it soon.

They followed her directions and found a locked door down the hall. The Doctor took his screwdriver and began to use it on the access panel which was right next to the door, but was so badly damaged that the only thing it did was spark.

"Great…" he said, annoyed, as he removed the lid and began to play with some cables.

A metallic noise rang through the place. The brigadier watched the way they'd just come from. "I've a bad feeling about this."

The doctor began to merge some cables of the door mechanism. "For a ship that has crashed, this is perfectly normal."

"Maybe it's normal for you. But this is like those horror movies…I've a feeling a big green alien monster will appear any moment to devour us."

"Ohh…shut up! You have a lot of prejudices. Not every alien is a monster, not every alien is carnivorous and for heaven's sake, not every alien is GREEN!"

"And not every alien is a handyman. Do you know what you are doing with that?" Wilson said, worried as a lot of cables were falling from the wall.

"No idea, but at the end, there is always a working one." By bringing together two of the cables, sparks went out again, but this time the door opened. A new corridor appeared ahead of them.

"For the love of God, what happened here?!" exclaimed Clara as she saw the hall through the screen. The walls were marked with signs of a fight, three large scratches roaming over part of the wall.

The brigadier put his fingers over the marks, following its path. "It seems like…some kind of claws and…they should be really sharp to leave this marks on metal. What were you saying about 'aliens aren't monsters'?"

"Maybe it's better to get moving," the Doctor said, worried as they walked down the corridor. All of them were looking forward to getting to the control room of the stricken ship immediately, and getting out of there as soon as possible. But even with Clara's instructions, that wasn't going to be easy.

They hadn't finished crossing the room when a crack echoed in the place. The soldier pulled out the gun, pointing it to the air. "What was that?"

Before Wilson had time to aim at something, the Doctor grabbed the barrel, forcing him to lower it, slowly. "We don't know what that is."

The brigadier looked at him, surprised. "Are you mad? Of course we don't know. But when it came, we can welcome it saying, 'Hello mister monster, now that we have already meet, please wait for us to shoot you!'"

"How typical. Shoot first and ask questions later! It could be anything. The depressurized air, the broken engines…or…" the Time Lord looked at his feet, startled. "Run, run RUN!"

A big crack began to open up in the floor. They barely went a couple of meters before the floor gave way, opening a big hole in the middle. Both of them lost their balance and fell dangerously close to slipping into the abyss. The Doctor managed to grab a ledge, avoiding falling more.

"Hold on!" exclaimed Clara in a panic as she watched them on the screen.

"Oh yes, that helps a lot!" the Doctor answered, climbing upward.

Wilson was holding onto the edge of the floor when he heard a release. Frightened, he looked up in horror and saw as a crack began to walk the ledge he was holding.

"Uh-oh…"

The Doctor managed to climb to firm ground, and ran to help the soldier. "Quick! Take my hand! Take it!"

"I don't reach it! I can't!"

Everything happened very fast. The outgoing relented and the soldier fell into the hole before he could take the hand.

"No, NO!" screamed The Doctor as he saw him disappear into the darkness.

"Wilson?!" He called him through the intercom, but only static could be heard.

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* * *

It must not have been very deep, because he soon suffered the force of gravity against his bones. He must have hit hard, because his head was spinning and his body refused to move. The brigadier stayed like that for a while, face up, looking hopelessly towards the small point of light above his head…the way out.

"Too far away…" he lamented. "Can anyone hear me? Doctor? Clara?" Nothing. The signal was dead.

He stand up, but when he did it the room began to spin and fell to his knees. He tried to take his hands to his temples, and remembered that was still wearing his helmet. Just when he thought it couldn't get worse, he looked up and saw a shadow moving fast towards him "I knew this would happen, and hate being right. Damn it!"

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* * *

The doctor kept walking while still trying to recalibrate the audio signal with the sonic screwdriver. "It's not working. Stupid thing!" he said furiously, pounding his fist against the wall.

Clara was not used to seeing the doctor like that. "Doctor please, I know that you're upset, but you really need to calm down right now."

"Don't you dare tell me how I must feel because…" he was interrupted when several shots were heard in the distance, putting both on alert.

"Stupid soldiers with stupid guns….Wilson?!" he said aloud. No one answered.

A red light began flashing in front of the girl. Clara watched as the toxicity levels were rising dangerously to the maximum. "You must hurry! The levels are reaching its max. The control room is just behind you! Just turn it off and go hell out of there!"

The doctor ran to the control room and immediately headed to the main panel. "Please, please, don't fail this time." He quickly scanned the controls with the screwdriver, and hastened to enter into the console the right command to turn off the engines "Came on, came on…be a good ship"

Noticing the activity ceasing, he sighed with relief for the first time that day.

Smiling, he stepped back. The soles of his boots trod on something sticky and he immediately looked down. Then he realized what it was: a pool of dried blood. He had come in so rushed that he hadn't noticed what was exactly in that room.

As he turned, he saw several bodies lying on the floor. His flashlight focused on them and immediately regretted seeing it. "I think I found the crew."

"Oh my god!" Clara exclaimed, terrified of what the camera was showing: a view that would be hard to forget. The bodies were in an advanced state of decomposition, but still signs of violence were evident on them.

Just then, a heavy breathing could be heard.

"Doctor, get out of there NOW!"

Quickly, he headed for the exit. Suddenly, the floor trembled as a great weight fell from the ceiling behind him.

"No, no, don't stop. This is not the time for being curious, just run!" she pleaded him.

The Doctor felt the hairs on his neck straighten, then turned slowly until he could see it.

"Hello big man!" he greeted the only survivor of that ship.

Clara did not lose sight of the screen. In her travels in the Tardis, she had never seen such a being. That creature was very large. Its body looked like a big humanoid lizard, covered in green scales. What struck her the most was its sharp claws, and the combat position it was starting to get into.

"Listen, I will not hurt you" the Doctor rose his hands slowly as the lizard cocked its head "See… no need to worry."

In a fast movement, the lizard grabbed him by the collar of his spacesuit and raised him as if he were paper.

"Argg…no, no! Don't do this!"

Violently, it threw him into a nearby wall, falling hard to the floor and giving a blow on the helmet. Because of that, the video signal disappeared.

"Oh my god, oh my god!" Clara said helplessly. "Doctor? Doctor! Are you ok?!" The audio signal was retransmitting, because she could hear the lizard growling, but the Time Lord didn't answer her.

"Doctor please, say something!" Still nothing. The video signal returned, with interferences. It seemed that the camera only showed part of the floor. The signal was completely static, motionless.

She didn't lose more time. With decision, she ran to the dressing room of the Tardis, taking another spacesuit that was kept there. The girl hastened to turn on all oxygen devices, still thinking about what she had seen on the monitor. The image of the doctor unconscious or…or dead on the floor was hammering on her mind.

"Don't let him go alone, never let him go alone!" Clara adjusted hurriedly her helmet and ran to the door of the blue box. She tried to open it but didn't move an inch.

"What?!" She turned the latch but the door still didn't open. "Are you kidding me?" She snapped her fingers over and over again, even hit the wood surface with all her strength, but without luck. "Oh came on! Open the damn door you old cow! OPEN IT NOW!"

 **To be continued.**

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 **Hoped you liked. Please review! :)**


	7. 07 - Into darkness

**Chapter 7: Into darkness**

The Doctor awoke slowly, his muscles groaning in protest after being knocked unconscious in such an awkward position. His head was spinning, and he had to blink several times to focus his vision. The first thing he saw was a crack in the helmet visor. Frightened, he touched the glass checking for damage; and breathed, relieved that there had been no break. Even minimum contact with that toxic atmosphere could be fatal.

The heat in the room had increased considerably. Slowly, he looked around, searching for the alien lizard. It was difficult to distinguish anything with lights flashing, and when he was still dizzy from the blow.

It was then that he saw a patient form in the shadows.

"Come on, I know you're intelligent. Don't be shy and talk to me," the Doctor said as he stood up.

The form stepped into the light. This time, the Time Lord looked at the being more carefully. As far as he could tell, it was unarmed, but that didn't mean anything. He still remembered its strong claws.

"Ok…let's try again, but this time I'll appreciate more kindness."

Just then, he could hear a voice in his mind. "I didn't do it."

The Doctor glanced at the lizard, astonished. "Oh…so you're telepathic. How interesting."

Interesting or not, that thing was approaching him, making him nervous. "It's fine, you didn't do whatever you're talking about," he said in a very calm, low tone, because he didn't want to frighten the creature. After all, he knew from experience that a frightened creature could become extremely dangerous.

He glanced around, looking for anything with which to protect himself in case the lizard attacked him again. Finding nothing, he pulled out his screwdriver; he didn't know what for, but he felt safer with it in his hands.

Suddenly, an excruciating pain seared through his skull and down his spine. He dropped the screwdriver from senseless fingers. The pain bound him to his knees, immobilizing him before the alien. He tried to stand, to fight the agonizing hold on him, but with each struggle, the pain rose even higher.

"That's cheating. I opened my mind so we could communicate, not….not THIS! You've hacked me!" the Doctor managed to say. As long as he stayed still, the pain was only mildly intolerable.

"I didn't do it," the voice echoed in his mind with the same words.

The Doctor tried to calm himself, doing his best to disguise the pain. "You didn't do what? If we're going to play your game, at least give me something to play with," he said starting to get angry.

"I didn't kill them," said the voice, as the lizard pointed the corpses on the floor.

"Sorry if I don't believe you. That's what happens when you don't stop attacking me."

"I'm just defending myself! I will not bear the crimes of others, I am only charged of small things," the voice echoed in his mind.

The Doctor realized the lizard must have thought that he was part of a rescue expedition from Wintercells prison. "No no no. I came from Earth, the planet where this ship crashed. And what do you call 'small things'?"

"I was accused of hacking minds."

"I see that you are very sorry to do that," the Doctor said ironically.

"I won't go back to prison. I'll do whatever it takes to be free." At that point, the pain was completely unbearable, even for his kind.

The Doctor gritted his teeth. He had had enough. "I don't care about you or your ridiculous mind tricks. There are other things more important at stake right now!" His tone was getting colder. "I'm quite sure that whatever punishment they given to you is deserved. Maybe you've hacked lots of minds, but I'm pretty sure you've never hacked a Time Lord one."

The lizard looked at him, surprised, as the Doctor continued talking. "Today I'm feeling generous and I'm going to give you two options: either you let me go and break the link now, or I reverse it and fry your own brain. And believe me, I'm being nice, so consider it your lucky day!"

Abruptly, he felt the pain ease, and his body fell to the floor once again. The screwdriver was next to his hand. "Arg…I'm starting to get tired of this! Why I don't find a decent species?!" he lamented as he looked up.

"What…?" he observed as Clara was behind the lizard with a metal bar in her hands. "How the heck she had left the Tardis?" he thought, bemused.

Then, the Time Lord's eyes widened when he realized what she was going about to do. "No no no! Don't! Don't do it!" He began to stand up but was too late. It happened so fast that no one had time to react. Clara tried to attack the alien, but the lizard turned around and grabbed the bar. And then, he extended his other claw and attacked her.

"Clara!" the Doctor shouted as the girl fell to the floor.

The lizard turned and growled angrily, approaching the Doctor, who began to step back, really worried.

"No no no. Came on, you're wise. We can fix it by talking," he said, looking at the alien and then at Clara, who was writhing in pain.

If the creature was telepathic, he could use the screwdriver to emit a sound wave that could knock him out. The problem was, he didn't remember how to do it. "I can remember the app for auto-stir tea but not this one! Doctor Idiot!" he thought, embarrassed.

The greenish alien was about to attack him, when a forceful sound echoed in the room. The Doctor looked surprised how the lizard collapsed, dead. "What?" he exclaimed as soon as he recovered his breath. Behind where the green alien was, a smoking gun appeared. The brigadier was holding it.

At first the Doctor glanced at him, relieved to see him alive, but then his eyebrows became furious. "What the hell have you done?!"

The soldier lowered his arm. "Saving our lives. That thing was about to kill you!"

"That being was alone and scared, and you just murder him! That's why I don't like soldiers…and even less human soldiers. I…NEVER…LEARN!" he said, beside himself. Then he stopped: his brain was screaming that there was something more important to worry about.

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* * *

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Clara tried to move, but her body didn't obey her. Her breath came in short, aching gasps. With trembling hands, she touched her injury and an excruciating pain ran through her nervous system. The girl's glove was soaking in blood, hers. Her brain was still processing what had just happened. She was scared, knowing that if she was bleeding it was because the spacesuit had been ripped.

Clara began to hyperventilate and immediately noticed the air came less easily to her lungs. She tried to breathe deeply while she could. "Help me…" Her voice was so weak that was not sure he was going to hear her. The girl was terrified to know that she could be dying, but she was horrified to think that she would do it alone.

With the last of her strength, she raised her voice as much as could "Doctor… please." A tear ran down her cheek and her vision became blurred.

It was then that she felt something was pressing the wound. A bolt of pain hit her body and its muscles tensed. She tried to see what it was, but her vision was darkening. A pair of gently hands embraced her and lifted her body off the floor.

Clara thought she heard a voice in the distance, but could not make out what it said. Her body finally relaxed as darkness claimed her.

 **To be continued.**

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 **That was a really hard chapter to write for some reason. Please review and give me some feed back. Kind constructive criticism as always is very welcome :)**


	8. 08 - Saying goodbye

**Thanks to those who have followed, favourited and reviewed so far! Every single one means a lot and makes me want to keep updating!**

 **I also want to thanks Calgarry, my fantastic beta Reading! : )**

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 _With the last of her strength, she raised her voice as much as could "Doctor… please." A tear ran down her cheek and her vision became blurred._

 _It was then that she felt something was pressing the wound. A bolt of pain hit her body and its muscles tensed. She tried to see what it was, but her vision was darkening. A pair of gently hands embraced her and lifted her body off the floor._

 _Clara thought she heard a voice in the distance, but could not make out what it said. Her body finally relaxed as darkness claimed her._

* * *

 **Chapter 8: Saying goodbye**

His gaze was absent, and his mind was far from that place. He hated to wait: after all, why should he have to wait when he had a time machine? Part of his mind was screaming at him to skip the waiting part. However, another small part, the one he didn't want to hear, was telling him that he must stay there, no matter what.

His body must have agreed with that small part, because he had lost all track of how long he had been sitting in that uncomfortable chair. "How could a twenty-first century chair be less comfortable than a fifth-century one? Humans…so illogical…" he thought.

A hand landed on his shoulder. He didn't even react. "I brought you this. You need to drink something." Kate offered him a hot cup and sat beside him. She stared at the Doctor, with a look of pain and longing.

He took the cup and looked at its contents. He wanted to make a sarcastic comment about the British tea, but was reluctant to do it. Therefore, he remained silent.

The blond woman tried to make him think about something else. It wasn't good that he was scourging mentally for so long. "Our sensors have shown that the toxic activity of the area has decreased. However, we must ensure that there is no more dumping there. We are going to send a new team to secure the ship, now that the toxic activity has ceased."

He said nothing, still staring impassively at infinity. It seemed that the white wall in front of him was very interesting.

"Don't you say anything? Aren't you going to yell at me that it's ridiculously absurd and dangerous and prevent us to do it?

Finally he took a sip from the cup. "What for? Would you change your mind if I say that?"

"Not at all. But it's pretty curious that Brigadier Wilson has flatly refused to return to the ship, and you weren't even perturbed when I told you."

"Don't remind me about that annoying ape pudding brain…" he said, but then he looked puzzled. "Did you say he doesn't want you to go back there? That doesn't make sense…I was sure he would like to dismantle the ship, a new toy to play with."

"Well…it seems that he had a traumatic episode down there."

"Really unlikely for a soldier boy." He finally looked up. "All of you are like little children. If you tell them not to do something, they'll do it anyway."

She stared back at him; he really looked like crap, so the woman tried to change the subject again.

"Doctor, on behalf of the Earth, I want to thank you for saving our world, again."

"Not all your world," he said in a low voice, closing his eyes. For a moment, his mind went back a few hours. It had been so much in so little time. He had saved the Earth one more time, yes, but at what cost?

He remembered the small body of Clara, covered in blood. It was something he could not get out of his mind. He opened his eyes straight away, trying to avoid recreating that image again; but as much as he wanted, it was useless to try to believe it had not happened.

She guessed what he was thinking. "Doctor. You know it's not your fault, don't you?"

He got up, tired of that chair. "Of course it's my stupid damn fault. She didn't even want to come. It was me who brought her here. The universe is so….so ridiculous!" he said, pacing around like a jackrabbit, looking impatiently at a double door which read 'Surgery'.

"Why you humans are so slow…? And you even do things in the right order! No no no, I can't wait. I'll fast forward this." The Time Lord headed for the exit door.

"If you cross that door, I'll call the dogs for kick your ass over and over until you realize that you can't leave us now." she said calmly, drinking her own cup of tea.

The Doctor turned and looked at her, defiant. "Can't I? Bye, Kate."

"Yeah, right. Do it again. Run away without even saying goodbye. Apparently, you have a degree in doing that."

He stopped. "I'm not running away, I never run away…it's just…I need time."

"You know…the problem about playing with time is that sometimes you can come back too late," she said, fully aware of her tricky way. "He waited for you, you know? But now he is dead."

Those words threw cold water on him. However, he remained stoic. Even if he knew that she was right, his rebellious side just couldn't accept it.

"Not for me. I can pay a visit to your father anytime I want."

Kate glanced at him sadly. "Then why you didn't do it?"

The Time Lord leaned his forehead against the wall and remained silent, looking down. He knew what the answer was, but didn't intend to say it out loud.

"Humans…you just don't understand."

"Of course, sorry. I almost forgot that to you, we're just tiny insects from a primitive planet. But believe me that right now to me, you're just a little three-year-old kid who flees because he must eat broccoli and didn't like it."

"What?! Have you gone bananas? Did you just compare THIS to broccoli?!"

"You know what I mean."

Of course he did, but somehow didn't want to admit it. Perhaps, he was too accustomed to receiving all the contempt and shrapnel of his actions throughout the centuries. The Doctor returned to his seat rubbing his face, and surprisingly using a lower tone, said, "Do you want to know why I didn't visit your father?"

Kate looked at him, and realized how much her words had hurt him.

The Time Lord gave her a sad smile. "Because that irritating, self-opinionated idiot was…my friend. A good one." He paused, trying to find the right words. "I don't know how to say goodbye to a friend."

She smiled sympathetically "My father was right about you."

"Oh…I don't think so."

"He said that despite all the front of being arrogant, egocentric and loud, in the end you were just a grumpy cocky sentimentalist."

The Doctor rolled his eyes. "Did he really say that?"

She smirked "Of course not…that was the sugar-coated version."

They remained silent for a couple more minutes, until he spoke again. "You know…she threw herself into my own timeline to save me. Ohhh Clara, saving me over and over again, but now, I can't do anything for her. It's frustrating."

"Men…all the same, even if you are an alien." She pointed at him. "You're wrong. You only have to do one thing: stay with her."

He was about to respond, when a door opened. John Smith came out, wearing surgical clothes and taking off his gloves. With a worried look, he went to them.

"At last…how is she?" the Doctor asked anxiously.

"The wound hasn't pierced any vital organs; yet it was sufficiently severe to confine her to a bed until it heals properly." The young man looked at the Doctor "She is conscious now. Asking for you."

The Time Lord didn't hesitate, and walked toward the room, but Smith grabbed his arm "Before you go there, I must tell you something important. As you would know, she had been exposed to the toxin, fortunately for a short time as you brought her here so soon but…" He stopped, trying to be as sensitive as possible.

The Doctor's eyebrows furrowed. "It seems that telling things slowly is contagious here," he said, looking at Kate "Just tell me how she is!"

"Ok…the toxin is spreading quickly through her bloodstream. We need to start the experimental treatment that have been developing these last weeks."

The Time Lord were surprised to hear those words "Did you find an antidote?"

"Not exactly. But our research team has made great progress."

The Doctor glared at him, with suspicious. "I can overlook that you're hiding your true identity, John Smith, but I won't tolerate that you're hiding data from me."

Smith looked at Kate and sighed. "We have tested the antidote in lower organisms of the affected area, with sixty percent of success."

"Sixty percent?! Wait, wait…lower organisms. Do you mean humans?"

Smith shook his head. "Ehm….we have tested it with fish."

The Doctor glared at him incredulously. "You are kidding me, right?"

"Look, we don't have time to lose. The sooner we begin to treat her, more chance she'll have of surviving."

The Time Lord grabbed Smith by his shirt collar. "Are you suggesting that you want to use Clara as a guinea pig, without knowing if it would work? You could kill her!"

Smith grabbed the Doctor's wrists, trying to reduce the pressure on his throat. "I'm just trying to help. It's the best we have right now, but the start of the treatment isn't my decision and neither is yours!"

The Time Lord released him, knowing Smith was right.

"How many people are working on the antidote?" he asked finally.

"Twenty four."

"Well, make yourself useful and go away to be the twenty-fifth member. And believe me, you won't have time or space to run away from me if it fails!" he growled, as the younger man hurried away.

The Doctor looked back at Kate, who remained silent. "I hope that a Lethbridge-Stewart will rise to the occasion. Now, look into my eyes and tell me if this man deserves my trust, professionally speaking."

Kate didn't hesitate, and did what he asked. "I can assure you, professionally, he is the second best doctor we have on the payroll."

He just nodded, and then breathed deeply, steeling himself, as he headed to Clara's room. Maybe it was time to learn how to say goodbye.

 **Hey guys! Did you enjoy it? Don't forget to review it, because you want me happy, right?**


	9. 09 - Lie to me

**Thanks for all your reviews. You're great!**

 **zaramcmillan30: The Doctor has a little Malcom Tucker inside him…. Remember that! Hahaha**

 **Nint3ndozzzz: Sad… but not too much ;)**

 **last1stnding: The brig was a really good character, this was my tribute to him. I'm glad you like it!**

 **Calgarry: Thanks again for your work beta Reading this! : )**

* * *

 _The Doctor looked back at Kate, who remained silent. "I hope that a Lethbridge-Stewart will rise to the occasion. Now, look into my eyes and tell me if this man deserves my trust, professionally speaking."_

 _Kate didn't hesitate, and did what he asked. "I can assure you, professionally, he is the second best doctor we have on the payroll."_

 _He just nodded, and then breathed deeply, steeling himself, as he headed to Clara's room. Maybe it was time to learn how to say goodbye._

* * *

 **Chapter 9: Lie to me**

All of her muscles were stiff, as if she hadn't moved them for a week. It seemed that her body didn't want to make distinctions, because it ached all over. Perhaps the worst part was her shoulder. Clara raised her head from the pillow, and could see an extremely big surgical gauze crossing her chest and shoulder. She didn't even dare to think what there would underneath.

The girl collapsed against the pillow and looked at the ceiling. She tried to think of something else to make the pain more bearable. She knew that it was ridiculous, because the pain wouldn't disappear, but she could try to fool her mind if got distracted. It didn't work, because then, her brain was remembering how hungry she was.

"Great…" she said, annoyed.

Nevertheless, the girl was worried. Although Smith had said that the Doctor was safe, she refused to trust him until saw it with her own eyes. And as if someone had heard her thoughts, the door of the room opened.

Clara smiled instantly when saw the Doctor entering. "Hi."

The Time Lord approached the bed and inspected her exhaustively. When he was satisfied with the result, he nodded. "Two arms and two legs. You are full. That's good!"

"Yeah well…I agree." Sometimes she just forgot how alien he was.

The Doctor sat down carefully on the edge of the bed. "How are you?"

Clara hesitated a moment. "As if a tank had passed over me and then had reverse to pass me over again."

The Doctor raised his hands. "I swear, I wasn't the driver."

She smiled again. "Not sure about that."

"Here, I brought you this." He opened a bag and offered it to her.

"What is this?" she asked, taking a pastry.

"I promised you a breakfast, with chocolate croissants. It's not the best but it's edible…more or less."

Clara looked at it and discovered that had a bite mark. "Have you eaten a piece of my croissant?"

"I had to make sure it was ok!" he said defensively.

"Of course, it had nothing to do that it's made of chocolate," she said ironically. "I'm sure if I'd told you I wanted to breakfast a cabbage, you would have tested it anyway, right?"

"Of course!" he answered, offended. "I also brought you this. It's a thriller novel, but I'm not sure if you would like it. The end is very predictable, because the murderer is the housekeeper."

"Oh… great." she said, annoyed, but then realized that something was wrong. She bit her lip, because she wasn't sure if wanted to know the truth. "How bad is it?"

He looked at the window, avoiding looking at her. "Yes, I know, very bad weather. It's raining again."

She glared at his face. It had been difficult to get used to reading his new face, but despite how hermetic he was, there were small gestures that exposed him. It only took one glance to know the truth. "You're treating me like if I'm dying."

"Why do you say that?"

"Because you're strangely nice. Your eyes are sadder than usual, not to even mention your separatist angry eyebrows."

He remained silent, and took her hand. With the touch, a shiver ran her spine. Yes, it was definitely wrong. Then, realization hit her like a stone. "Oh my god… I'm right, aren't I?"

Realising that he couldn't waste any more time, he let it all out, unaware that he didn't knew how to deliver bad news tactfully. "Your body is contaminated with the toxin. Idiot Smith and his idiotic team have been researching for a remedy, but it has only a sixty per cent of success. And…you must choose if you want to try it or…" He hesitated for a moment, not knowing how to say it.

She felt a great pressure inside her chest. Her heart was beating so fast that the air couldn't reach her lungs, despite her harsh gasping.

The Doctor jumped as he saw her suffocating. Quickly, he helped her to sit up on the bed. Aware that she was having a panic attack, he took her head with both hands, forcing her to look at him. "Breathe, Clara, breathe."

The overexertion had exhausted the remaining strength she had to stay upright, so she collapsed against the Doctor, who embraced her before she fell down. "Easy, easy, I got you."

Her head rested against his chest, where she could hear his double heartbeat. The girl closed her eyes, concentrating on that sound. She could have never imagined how relaxing that rhythmic sound was. He kept holding her on his lap, relieved to hear that her breathing was a little less hectic.

"I'm scared," she finally said after a long pause, grabbing his left arm desperately.

"I know, and it's perfectly normal to be scared." He looked at his other free hand, with no clue what to do with it.

"Doctor…" she said without moving, "…are you hugging me?"

"Don't flatter yourself. It was either that or letting you fall flat. I hope it's not one of your manipulative plan for me to become a hugging person, because that is never going to happen."

He glanced at the monitors in the room, which were displaying her vital signs. They were almost normal again.

"That treatment…it is really bad, isn't it? Otherwise you wouldn't be asking for my permission."

He exhaled heavily; somehow he didn't want to get to that part of the conversation. He must keep cool if he wanted to help her, after all, he owes her that.

"The toxin is spreading too fast. If you choose to try the experimental treatment, they should start it as soon as possible. This time, I'm not going to lie to you. It's going to hurt, and if it doesn't succeed, it could kill you before the toxin does."

She didn't answer and that worried him. "I'll understand if you don't want to try it."

"I think I don't have a choice. Why would I choose not to do it when the other way is just waiting to die?"

He looked down at her head, astonished of how strong she seemed. "Because if it's the end, you don't have to suffer."

She squeezed his arm, using it for supporting herself as parting away. "I…I didn't want to leave the Tardis," she said, glaring at his pale blue eyes.

He was confused. "That doesn't matter now, Clara."

She ignored him. "Yes. It does. I just wanted to go home for a while, because you were right about me."

"Well, assuming I'm always right, you must specify exactly what you're talking about."

"I'm a control freak." She smiled sadly. "I needed to feel that at least one part of my life was under my control, but...I was ashamed to tell you."

Then an unfamiliar sound echoed in the room. She was surprised to hear him laugh; in fact, it was the first time she'd seen this version of him laughing.

"Oh Clara…you are just impossible. You are already in control of everything! Come on…you were capable of convincing the Tardis to unlock her door, when she didn't even let me choose the colour of the round things!"

"Speaking of which, I should be angry with you. Fortunately, the old cow has more common sense than you."

"Common sense? I wanted to prevent…THIS."

"Why you didn't tell me?"

"Because you would have said no."

"Of course! I don't need you being a mother hen!"

She looked down with mixed feelings. Of course, she was aware that he just was trying to keep her safe, didn't blame him for that, but what about her? Didn't she have the right to keep him safe, too?

One more time, she was unable to control her emotions and that really frustrated her. A tear was forming in her eye when the Doctor spoke again, looking confused. "In what possible biological way could I be a hen?"

She smirked at that, but then her face turned sad again. "I need you to do something for me."

"I'm not hugging you again."

"Please…if…if I choose to start the treatment...I need you to tell me that everything is going to be alright."

He shocked his head. "It'd be a lie."

"Then lie to me," she said, with pleading eyes.

 **Hope you're enjoying it. Please, let me know what do you think :)**


	10. 10 - Close your eyes

**I'm really sorry for the delay updating this. I promise that the next chapter will be longer and I'll try not to take too long to write it :D**

 **Thank you for your feedback:**

 **zaramcmillan30: Prepare yourself for the next chapters hahaha**

 **Paige who: And that's why timelords have two hearts, they need a spare one ;)**

 **Nint3ndozzzz: Thank you! I'm really glad that you liked it.**

 **last1stnding: Oh, no no… that wasn't the sad part of the story… (evil smile)**

 **poppytownie: Thank you for your review. I hope you like the next ones too :D**

 **Calgarry: Thanks again for your incredible work beta reading this.**

* * *

 _One more time, she was unable to control her emotions and that really frustrated her. A tear was forming in her eye when the Doctor spoke again, looking confused. "In what possible biological way could I be a hen?"_

 _She smirked at that, but then her face turned sad again. "I need you to do something for me."_

 _"I'm not hugging you again."_

 _"Please…if…if I choose to start the treatment...I need you to tell me that everything is going to be alright."_

 _He shocked his head. "It'd be a lie."_

 _"Then lie to me," she said, with pleading eyes._

* * *

.

 **Chapter 10: Close your eyes**

 **.**

Clara was looking at the ceiling. She didn't know whether she had made the right choice, but something worried her.

"Are you staying?" she finally asked him.

The Doctor looked at her with a serious face. "Do you really think I'm going to leave you alone with this…impostor cupcake brain?" he said, pointing at Smith, who was starting to prepare the treatment.

Clara raised an eyebrow. "Cupcake?"

"His brain is so small that it can't even be pudding."

Smith just rolled his eyes. "I'm right here, if you don't mind."

"Yes, that's why I'm saying it aloud."

Clara glared at her friend. "Doctor, behave. He's just doing his work," she told him reproachfully.

The young man finished attaching the needle of the vial on her arm; but before allowing the solution to pass it, he looked at her, wanting to make sure she knew the risk.

"Miss Oswald, this remedy works, but there is a drawback that I hope the cantankerous alien over here has told you."

The girl looked up hopefully. "So, it works. That is good, isn't it?" Seeing that neither of them changed their serious expression, her hopes were dashed once again. "What's the problem?"

The physician checked the monitors. "The problem is that it's a very strong treatment, and right now, your body is weakened by the injury suffered. It'll be very painful, and we can't administer any painkillers, because it could affect the treatment. Maybe your body wouldn't hold on." She was sure she saw a hint of fear in his eyes as he talked, and that unnerved her. "I'll start it when you are ready."

The girl felt a lump in her throat. She stretched out his hand, looking for something to hold onto, and the Doctor took it at once. Then she nodded, and the medic opened the vial so the liquid could enter the needle.

"Ok. It's starting. Now we can only wait for it to take effect," Smith said as he wrote some numbers down in a folder.

The Doctor approached him. "Well, if you don't mind, it would be great if you close the door."

"Of course."

The Time Lord just pointed at him. "From the outside!"

Smith shook his head, and looked back at Clara "One thing: just because this lunatic calls himself 'the Doctor', doesn't mean he has any idea about medicine. If you need anything, just press the button, I'll be outside." He went to the door and left them alone.

"You know…you should be more kind to him, he's a nice man," she said, as she rested her head on the pillow. "Even I would say it seems he knows what he's doing"

"More than that. He is brilliant," the Doctor said.

She seemed surprised. "Then why do you keep messing with him?"

"Because if I told him how good he is, he could be overconfident and could make a mistake. Besides, I still have to find out who he is."

"For heaven's sake. Are you still thinking about that?! Do you know that only in my country there must be a half million people whose name is John Smith?"

The Doctor shook his head. "I've seen his face before. But I can't remember where or when!"

"Maybe it's because he has a common face, like his name?" she suggested.

"Perhaps…" he said, tired, as checked the monitors next to the bed. "Do you feel anything?"

Clara looked at the vial. The dropper was letting the solution to enter into her arm. "Only a tingling. Is that good or bad?"

"No idea," he said, worried.

The liquid kept flowing through her veins until it reached her heart, like a time bomb. It began to pump throughout her body with each heartbeat. It was then that she felt it. Immediately, her muscles tensed. It was as if fire was flowing through her veins, burning her guts from within.

She wanted to scream, but the pain was paralyzing her. When her body was able to react, her hand closed in a death grip, squeezing the Doctor's hand so hard that her knuckles turned white. He didn't feel it, too worried about seeing her writhing in pain.

He managed to hold her by her shoulders, being careful not to hurt her wound. "Clara, Clara…you have to lay still, or your stitches will open."

She fought to free herself, but soon her strength abandoned her as she collapsed against the pillow again. "Please, Doctor…it…it really hurts!"

"I know. It can be difficult, but try to think of something else."

"I can only think that I'm burning!"

"No, no! Don't do that. Think about something relaxing. What do you humans do to relax?"

"Really?"

"I don't know! Eat cereals?"

"How on earth could cereals be relaxing?!" Over-exertion had taken its toll, though, and she gasped in despair. "I'm sorry, but I can't…"

"Yes, you can. You must be strong."

She began to moan, suffocated, and didn't know how in the world she would ever survive that treatment. She was shaking so hard that she started to curl into a ball.

"I'm sorry, but I don't know if I can hang on much more," she sobbed, hiding her face in the pillow, embarrassed that he had to see her like that.

He put away the hair from her face and used a very calm voice. "Clara, I need you to close your eyes."

Her eyes opened wide, afraid to feel alone. "No, no, please."

He shuddered to hear her so scared.

Gently, he took her head in his hands, and turned it so he could see her face. Tears edged the corners of red-rimmed eyes. She looked down, ashamed.

"Hey…I'm here, and I'm not going anywhere. Close your eyes."

She reluctantly did as was told.

"Good, now try to concentrate on my voice. I want you to imagine somewhere else. Where would you like to be?"

A new bolt of excruciating pain ran through her body. She bit her lips, trying not to scream again, trying to mentally push the pain from her body. It wasn't working, so she opened her mouth now and then, trying not to clench her teeth.

"Focus, where would you like to be?"

"Somewhere with water, a lot of water…I'm burning! Please, Doctor, make it stop! Please!"

She felt his fingers running over her cheeks until placed on her temples. Before she could react, she felt a small electrical current, and her body went completely limp.

* * *

She opened her eyes at once. An orange sky was above her, illuminated by two big suns "How?" She sat up, and discovered that was on a beach. "How could I be here?!"

She heard footsteps behind her and saw the Doctor approaching.

"Because we're not," he said sitting next to her on the sand. "This is a projection I'm putting in your brain."

She looked ahead to where the water splashed against the rocks, leaving behind an intense and fresh fragrance. She breathed deeply, relieved to see how the pain had subsided.

"So none of this is real." She glared at him sceptically. "Not even you?"

He didn't answer her at first. "This is your mind. It must be private. Do you really want me to be here?"

"You didn't answer my question."

"Neither did you."

She looked at the sunset silently, enjoying the peace that place gave her and knowing that he wasn't really there. He had never been so still for so long.

Then she spoke again "It's ok. I suppose it's better if your real self don't see me like this."

She took his arm and laid her head on his shoulder.

"Clara, even if I'm a projection, I'm still not a fan of hugs."

"Oh just shut up! I can't believe that you're so annoying even in my imagination. Besides, you're not very huggable. You are all bones. I wonder where you keep all the sugar you eat?"

"I do a lot of running."

She laughed at that. "Yeah… that's true." The sunset was darkening. "How much time we have?"

"I don't know. But not much."

"So I guess I should take the opportunity to ask you something before it's gone." He raised an eyebrow, but she kept talking. Maybe he should have told her that he was as real as her.

"I know you're just a creation of my imagination, and it is probably ridiculous to ask you this, because you're going to answer what I want to hear but…I need to hear it from your lips, even if it's not true. Doctor…what am I to you?"

He looked down at her head, a bit worried, thinking that maybe the solution were beginning to reach her brain.

"Well…I don't know how to say this but…I think that you are the worst soufflé cooker in all the universe."

She released his arm to look at his face. "You can't be serious…" To her surprise, he just vanished. "What?!"

And then everything went black.

* * *

The link was broken. He blinked several times until his vision became clear again, then looked down at the unconscious form of Clara on the medical bed. Her fingers were clenched tightly. Clearly, her body was still hurting, but her face was more relaxed.

It hurt him to know that she would never have dared to ask him that question if she'd known it was his real self. But he understood her, because he would never have answered her if she had been conscious.

"You were the first face this idiot face saw. I trust you so much, I regenerated in who I really am… more or less. I know, it wasn't the best choice, but somehow, I knew that you would accept me as I am." He stroked her hair. "You'll always be important to me, Clara Oswald."

 **Thank you so much for reading it, and don't forget to leave a comment if you like it! :)**


	11. 11 - Four minutes

**Hi all! Thank you very much for all your great feedback! :)**

 **zaramcmillan30: The first phase is making him a hugging person, then we'll see what happens next…. hahaha**

 **Spydur1: Thank you! I try to write twelve as I see him: an idiot with a screwdriver! ;)**

 **Paige who: I'm worried about you. Do you need a heart transplant? Thanks for your review!**

 **Nint3ndozzzz: Save your tears because you'll need them ;)**

 **Calgarry: Thank you very much as always! You were pretty fast beta reading this one ;)**

* * *

 _It hurt him to know that she would never have dared to ask him that question if she'd known it was his real self. But he understood her, because he would never have answered her if she had been conscious._

 _"You were the first face this idiot face saw. I trust you so much, I regenerated in who I really am… more or less. I know, it wasn't the best choice, but somehow, I knew that you would accept me as I am." He stroked her hair. "You'll always be important to me, Clara Oswald."_

* * *

 **Chapter 11: Four minutes**

The peace and tranquillity were perfectly balanced. So…that was what she had after death? Not feeling anything in the middle of the infinite darkness? She was disappointed. She had always thought that it would be nothing, but being in the nothing was a different thing.

Death was always represented in some way as another place, so she was expecting a green meadow where the sun always shines, and the birds sing merrily. Well…it might seem a bit cheesy, but in the darkness she couldn't see anything green and she wasn't hearing birds… To be precise, she was hearing something else, something weird, like a giant balloon that inflated and deflated with a slow and steady pace. What would that be? It intrigued her as much as it bothered her.

"This is ridiculous," she thought.

At first, the noise sounded far away, but soon, it grew as if the thing was approaching her. How she would know what it was if she couldn't see anything? Then, a new one joined that sound, a slight beep that repeated every so often.

With great effort, she managed to open her eyes. At first she saw nothing, and everything was blurry. As she gradually regained clarity, realized where she was: in UNIT's hospital room.

The slight beeping sound was the monitor, which was displaying her vitals. She should have known that…but the irritating sound wasn't coming from there.

Looking around, she saw the Doctor curled into a ball in a nearby chair, in a position that should be ridiculously uncomfortable. She tried to imagine how he might have ended so, but there were many possibilities to choose from. He was snoring, and certainly, they must have been space snores because they had managed to wake her.

The girl wasn't sure if he was sleeping, but in case, didn't want to wake him. Silently, she watched him. He looked awful, as if had been awake for many days. Knowing him, she was sure that he had been complaining every single second that he would have to wait. If he was exhausted, she didn't want to imagine the rest of the humans who had had to suffer him.

She smiled, and then tried to focus. She could barely remember much and wasn't able to calculate how long had been sleeping. At least the pain was more bearable, but with each passing minute, she hated the Time Lord's snoring more and more.

"Doctor, are you meditating or something?" she whispered. He didn't react so she tried it again out loud. "Doctor…!"

Startled, he opened his eyes and jumped on alert. "Just reverse the polarity!" he said, looking around. "Oh…" He looked at her. "The sleeping beauty is awake."

"So are you."

"How many times I have to tell you that I don't sleep. I was meditating."

"Yeah, right. And since you were snoring, I must assume that it was about something very important."

"Super Mario," he said, pulling out a Gameboy from his pocket.

"Sorry, what?!"

"Yeah. Always struck me as the dark story of an Italian plumber who eat mushrooms, and try to find a princess through pipes. Honestly, it seemed so sinister that I write it down on my list of things to investigate. I need to make sure that it doesn't have a destruction code or something like that."

She raised her eyebrow. "And did you solve it?"

He smirked. "Yes. It's explained in the collector edition from 2040. Look…the turtle and the princess…"

Surprised, she interrupted him. "Sorry, did you play all editions of Super Mario? Including those of the future…while I slept?"

"Not all. The haunted house of Luigi was pitiful. But other than that, I have also made seven claims to the factory of these stupid chairs. They are the most uncomfortable ones I've had."

"Perhaps it's a Machiavellian plan to condemn the human race to die of exhaustion," she said ironically.

"Perhaps. But since time is passing at normal speed, that is, boringly slow, I did call your school. I know a good friend of mine there, and you don't have to worry because now you are on vacation." He winked at her.

"You did what?! How much time I was out?"

"You are welcome. And you'll have to specify that. During treatment you've been waking up and fainting continually, probably because of the fever five days ago."

"Fever…I can't remember that. Wait...five days?!"

"What is the last thing you remember?" he asked casually.

"Hmm…not much…I remember being in a beach, but nothing more…"

"Good," he said flatly, pulling out his screwdriver and using it on her. "It seems that the treatment is over now." Then he glared at her with concern. "How are you feeling?"

She ignored his question, still thinking about the last five days. "I just can't remember…how could I forget what just happened in the last few days?"

He put his screwdriver into his jacket and leaned over the footboard of the bed. "Oh, don't worry. You didn't miss much, only the idiotic things of cupcake-brain Smith and believe me, you are very lucky if you forgot that."

Then he changed his face into a very serious one. "I need to know something."

She smiled. "Don't worry, I'm fine…I think so…but hey, you are the doctor here."

He just remained serious. "Clara, are you…scared of something? Or someone? Or someone with something?"

"You're really weird now. I think you need some rest… properly rest…and not that ridiculous thing that you call meditating."

"Oh no no…don't turn on your 'control-freak mode'. Just answer me."

She glared at him, and then knew that something had happened, and what was worse, he was hiding it to her. "Doctor?"

The door of the room opened, so he avoided answering her.

"Oh, so our favourite patient is awake!" said Smith, entering the room alongside with the brigadier.

The Time Lord rubbed his hair annoyed. "Oh great … who let you two out of the nursery school?"

Smith ignored him as he approached the bed. "I'm sorry Doctor, but it's my job to check my patient."

The Time Lord just rolled his eyes and pointed at the Brigadier. "And you what…did you come with him so he doesn't get lost?"

The military man looked concerned. "I'm afraid not. The second expedition that we sent to the alien ship had returned. We need your help with…something really strange."

The Doctor seethed and crossed his arms. "Whatever it is, can wait. I'm busy."

Smith just did a funny face. "With what? Are you investigating Sonic the Hedgehog now?"

"Oooh…don't try to give clever remarks. Doesn't suit you…cupcake," said the Doctor, and then looked at the brigadier. "I'm not going to leave this room, so you can bring me 'the thing' or began to describe it. Or better…try to solve it by your own. In that last case I'll make sure to bring popcorn."

Clara was surprised that despite having a 'mysterious thing', he wasn't willing to leave her alone.

"Doctor…what is more important: me or the world?" Of course, it was a rhetorical question, but soon she realised that he actually was thinking about that. "You can't be serious, are you even considering the answer?"

Of course he was considering the answer. He did have plenty of time to think about that in the last few days "Why it always has to be the world?" he thought. The only thing it gave him in return was pain and misery. He'd almost lost Clara to save the universe, when the universe didn't care at all.

"To hell with the world."

Everybody in that room looked surprised at him, but in that moment he only cared about the girl, who turned her shocked expression into a warm smile. "Doctor, as you can see, I'm not going anyway soon, so just…go with Wilson, insult all the pitiful humans you find on your way while you save the world again and please, bring me something hot to drink. I'm pretty sure you can do that in only five minutes."

He glared at her eyes as if he was trying to find something in them. She was aware that he was making sure she was fine, so the girl tried to seem strong. After a long pause, he spoke again. "I can do that in four. What about hot chocolate?"

"Hot chocolate would be great."

Then he nodded and pointed his finger at Smith "Cupcake brain…stay with her or I'll fire you."

The young man just made a funny face as the other men headed for the door. "Ok. But you can't actually fire me."

"Of course I can. I'm the president of Earth so I'm your boss."

* * *

Clara checked the clock on the wall again. It was a long time since they had left. She looked at the door, while Smith was writing down some results on her file. She bit her lip, aware that she was missing something. It was about time to discover what it was.

She started to talk casually. "I'm a bit worried…about what happened last days."

"You aren't supposed to remember anything. You were had a high fever."

"Yes. All of it, and I'm very sorry about it," she lied. "I want to apologise for what I…said?" She was trying to guess what happened, she probably had been weak to do anything, so it must had been something she'd said.

"Well…in that case, it isn't me who you should apologize to. But don't worry, it's perfectly understandable."

She looked at him surprised and then he just realized what she was doing. "Oh, clever girl…"

She looked down. "Sorry, but I need to know what happened and the Doctor just wouldn't tell me."

"And hasn't it occurred to you that maybe he has a good reason for not doing so?"

"John, please, I really need to know what happened," she said with pleading eyes. "I'm sure if you were in my situation you would like to know."

"And I'm also sure that if the grumpy alien finds out that I've told you, he'll throw me to a black hole or something like that!"

"But he doesn't have to know that, does he?"

He exhales heavily. "Are you always so persistent? I suppose I'm going to regret this but… In the last few days, you were having a lot of panic attacks, and they were just getting worse…it seemed that you were terrified to death, for some unknown reason."

Clara was lost deep in thought, and her tension was visible on her face. Had she said something embarrassing to the Doctor? And why did he was so concerned about her fears?

She looked down, her voice was a whisper now. "He wasn't supposed to see me like that."

"Why not?" The man asked while he began to clean her wound on her shoulder.

"Because… the Doctor can't avoid being the Doctor. The man who has to save everyone." She smiled sadly. "I'm afraid that maybe he's thinking about leaving me safe at home. He did it once, thinking it was the best for me. I'm really scared that after this, he's going to do it again."

"Well…I don't know too much about you two, but I can tell you what I saw. He didn't leave this room in the last five days, like a guardian dog. For heaven's sake, I even thought he was going to bark at me if I got too close to you. I really think that you shouldn't be so worried about what he thinks. After all, he's the lucky one for having you at his side," he said, winking at her.

Clara watched silently as the man applied a new gauze to her shoulder.

"Thank you," she finally said.

"No problem. It's my job."

"No, not for this. For trying to cheer me up. And…sorry for all the Doctor's comments about you, sometimes he just has a…difficult temper."

"It's a very creative way to describe it." Smith raised an eyebrow but then just looked at his watch. "Speaking of the devil. Whatever they found, it must be really important, because it's been a while since they left."

"So… you don't know what is it?"

The man shrugged his shoulders. "No idea. The brig didn't want to tell me. Said it was top secret."

The door opened again and Clara smiled. It faded, however, when she saw that it was Kate.

"Have you been running?" asked Smith, worried to see his boss breathless.

Kate just looked at him. "Where is the Doctor?"

"He went out with the Brigadier. I thought that you three would all be together."

The blond woman seemed scared. "Oh my God. We need to find them…NOW!"

"What happened?" asked the man, unnerved to see her so terrified.

She gave him a file. "It's easier for you to see it, because I wouldn't know how to actually explain it."

Smith flipped through the file until he saw a photo attached to it. "But…" His face seemed surprised and terrified at the same time. "But…what?!" He looked away from the image. "How is this possible?! I mean…what?!"

"Yes. I thought the same. How long have they gone?"

He looked at the clock. "I don't know. An hour or so."

Kate took her phone, very nervous. "Red code. This is a direct order. The base is close; nobody can leave it, no exceptions! I repeat. Nobody can leave!" She hung up and looked up at Smith. "I hope it's not too late."

Clara was confused. "Is anybody going to tell me what the hell is happening?"

 **So… what do you think what would happened next?** **Please,** **let me know your** **thoughts on this : )**


	12. 12 - I didn't do it

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* * *

 _Smith flipped through the file until he saw a photo attached to it. "But…" His face seemed surprised and terrified at the same time. "But…what?!" He looked away from the image. "How is this possible?! I mean…what?!"_

 _"Yes. I thought the same. How long have they gone?"_

 _He looked at the clock. "I don't know. An hour or so."_

 _Kate took her phone, very nervous. "Red code. This is a direct order. The base is close; nobody can leave it, no exceptions! I repeat. Nobody can leave!" She hung up and looked up at Smith. "I hope it's not too late."_

 _Clara was confused. "Is anybody going to tell me what the hell is happening?"_

* * *

 **Chapter 12: I didn't do it**

Clara was nervous, a fact which the monitor which was registering her vitals was displaying. Having seen that photo attached to the file, she thought the worst. Immediately, Kate raised the alarm to the whole base, but they didn't really know what they were facing.

In the time she had travelled with the Doctor, she had discovered that even the most absurd things can happen, but that was definitely too much.

She tried to stand from the bed, but Smith quickly prevented her from doing that. "Oi! Don't even think about it. Your body is still recovering!"

Clara tried to ignore him, but soon discovered that she didn't have enough strength to fight back. "I can't stay here, not now. I'm not going to leave him alone!" she said, with a mixture of panic and nervousness.

"Hey…easy. Right now, there is a whole detachment of UNIT looking for them. They can't have gone far, and besides, I think the Doctor can take care of himself."

"You say that because you haven't seen him trying to boil tea without water," she said. She looked at the photograph again, but soon withdrew her gaze. It was too unpleasant to look at it more than once. In the picture, a corpse would be seen, with obvious signs of violence. "How is this possible? He can't be dead, it's ridiculous!" Clara put her hands over her face.

Kate was pacing around the room as she talked. "Forensic experts had confirmed it. It's him. And surprisingly enough, they also confirmed he's been dead for five days."

Smith collapsed in the chair by Clara's bed. "I can't believe that the brigadier is…dead. I mean, I was with him just hours ago!"

Kate looked at him. "Were you?"

"Well…I'm not sure anymore. But how can it be possible? To be alive today, and be dead five days ago in the alien ship. Did they travel through time?" he said, thinking about the possibility since he had left with the Doctor.

Kate shook her head. "No. As soon as they returned from the mission, I activated protocol 40. I feared that the Doctor could do a runner before we could make sure we were safe, so I activated it secretly."

Smith just raised an eyebrow, but Clara seemed confused. "What does that mean?"

"It means that they couldn't get access to the Tardis without this," the woman said, taking a key from her pocket.

Clara gave her an ironic smile. "I really would have paid to see how you pickpocketed the Doctor, but I'm afraid that he didn't need a key to enter his Tardis anymore."

Now it was Kate who was smiling. "This is not the key of the Tardis. This is one of the two keys that are necessary to open vault number 40, where the Tardis is kept. A sonic proof vault, to be precise."

"Why would you do that?! Now I know why the Doctor didn't want a UNIT member near the Tardis. You all have twisted minds!" she said angrily, but then just tried to focus on the important part. "And by the way, why two keys? Who has the other one?"

"Only me and the designer. Nobody knows about that vault."

Smith rubbed his temples, exhausted. "Ok…so they didn't travel through time. Then what? You were together all the time down there in the alien ship, when could 'this'…actually happen?"

"No, that's not true," the girl said. "They had an accident down there. Part of a corridor's floor collapsed, and the brigadier fell down to a lower level. And then the communications failed." She widened her eyes in realization. "Oh my God…it must had been then when he…" Her voice cracked.

"…When he was horribly murdered," Smith finished for her sadly. "Now, we need you to remember everything that happened there, every tiny detail that could help us Clara."

She closed her eyes, trying to recreate everything about that day in her mind. "I left the Tardis, and on my way to the alien control room, I found the brigadier. I told him that we needed to help the Doctor."

"And…you didn't noticed anything, I don't know, unusual?"

Clara followed her eyebrows. "Are you insane? I was in a hurry!" Suddenly she stopped talking and her eyes widened even more. "I didn't do it!"

Smith had a puzzled expression. "Of course you didn't do it. We aren't accusing you, Clara."

She looked at him. "No, not me. The alien lizard…it was repeating that to the Doctor, over and over again. Of course he didn't do it!"

Smith and Kate looked at each other without a clue. Finally, he spoke. "Meaning?"

"Meaning that the alien ship didn't have one prisoner…it had two of them! That's why the brigadier shot it first! Because the lizard was about to tell us that! So he just killed him! Oh my god…we've been blind!"

Kate pointed her finger at Clara. "And that's why he also didn't want us to send the second expedition down there. Because eventually, we'd find the corpse."

Smith moved nervously on his chair. "That doesn't make sense. If we suppose that is so…why is it staying around? Why didn't it run away from here when it was safe?"

The girl sighed. "It's a fair question. Clearly because he needs or wants something."

Suddenly, a UNIT soldier appeared by the door and called Kate, who left the room quickly.

Clara was still deep in thought when she grabbed the man's arm. "We don't know what he wants, but it's pretty clear that he's willing to do whatever it takes to get his way. He already killed his own cellmate and the Brigadier just to get out of there. And now, that thing is with the Doctor…we really need to find them!"

"Don't worry Clara. We have a very good capable people to do that. We'll find them, I'm sure of that," he tried to reassure her. But then, Kate entered the room again with a devastated face.

"What is it? What have they found?" he asked her anxiously.

"Very, very clever," she said, holding something in her hands "Of course, he has the brigadier's credentials, so he can move thought this base like a fish in the water. He turned off the security cameras, and they just confirmed that there is one UNIT file missing."

Smith stood from the chair, clearly worried. The next question was inevitable, but he wasn't sure if wanted to know the answer, because he knew that the missing file was the key of what the thing wanted. "Which one?"

She took a deep breath before answering. "The Doctor's one. Everything that UNIT knows about him is in that file." Then the woman approached Clara and gave her the thing that she'd been holding.

"They found this in one of the building's exits. I'm sorry. I suppose that it's better if you have it."

Reluctantly, Clara took the sonic screwdriver…it felt heavier on her own hands. The Doctor would never ever drop it. She knew that for sure.

 **Plot twist! Please, Let me know if you like it or not! : )**


	13. 13 - Irrational fear

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* * *

 _He knew that the missing file was the key of what the thing wanted. "Which one?"_

 _She took a deep breath before answering. "The Doctor's one. Everything that UNIT knows about him is in that file." Then the woman approached Clara and gave her the thing that she'd been holding._

 _"They found this in one of the building's exits. I'm sorry. I suppose that it's better if you have it."_

 _Reluctantly, Clara took the sonic screwdriver…it felt heavier on her own hands. The Doctor would never ever drop it. She knew that for sure._

* * *

 **Chapter 13: Irrational Fear**

The military base was on red alert. Almost everyone was called to cover their positions, whoever they were.

Although Clara didn't doubt their professionalism, she began to question if it would be enough, so she began to think of a plan. A ridiculous and absurd plan…she could imagine the Doctor inside her head, shouting at her about how stupid it was.

Kate and Smith had warned her not to leave the room until they sent a security guard. Of course, her mouth accepted it, but her brain didn't.

She began to disconnect all the cables and vials from her body. It was now or never. With effort, the girl sat on the edge of the bed. She was aware that her strength was limited, but she couldn't stay there in a hospital bed, doing nothing.

In a way, she began to understand the Doctor. He had always said that he does what he does because he suffers from hyperactivity, mixed with boredom. But who could remain sitting down, knowing that something horrible is happening around them?

Determined, she put her feet on the ground and stood up without hesitation. It was the worst decision she could have made. Her legs began to tremble, clearly not ready yet. The girl grabbed the bed, avoiding the imminent fall to the floor.

"Stupid, stupid body…" Clara murmured, clinging with all her strength. It was useless; she knew she wouldn't get far in that state.

A shiver ran down her spine. She was scared. The Doctor had been worried about her irrational fears during the treatment. The problem is that they weren't irrational, they never were.

Her legs trembled again, and she finally collapsed to the floor. Her brain was too worried to even register the pain. "I can't do it…" She wanted to cry, but didn't have enough strength to form the tears, so she closed her eyes. And then, she remembered his question: "Clara, are you…scared of something?"

"Yes. I am. I'm really scared," she thought. "You were right…no one is waiting for me back at home…Danny is gone; I can't stand my stepmother, or the children of my school. You were damn right about me! I have nothing left in my life." She opened her eyes. "I…I can't lose you too."

The thought made her feel an emptiness inside, that completely terrified her. However, she didn't freeze; on the contrary, she clung to bed and got up. This time her legs withstood their weight.

It wasn't coincidence. It was the adrenaline that kept her standing.

"Fear is a superpower," she whispered, as she spotted her clothes nearby.

* * *

It wasn't difficult to find it. Well, it would have been difficult for a normal person, but Clara Oswald wasn't normal. Thanks to the 'Wi-Fi Creature', she could hack basic computers in just a few minutes. Since everyone at UNIT was busy, it hadn't been difficult to find a free terminal to locate what she sought. And there she was, in a secret basement under The Tower of London.

She looked up, where could be read: 'Vault 40'.

"Ok…let's do this," she said, pointing the sonic to the armored door. However, to her surprise, nothing happened at all.

"Shit…I thought the sonic proof thing was a bluff! Ok…maybe I'm doing it wrong…?" She tried again but on the second try, the door made a rusty sound and deadlocked itself.

"No no no no…what are you doing?!" The girl tried to open it with her bare hands, without luck. "I can't believe it!"

Clara leaned back on the armored door. She had faced monsters, Daleks, Cybermen, even false gods! But then, a miserable door had defeated her.

Hers legs finally gave up, and her body slipped down the wall until it was sitting on the floor.

"The Doctor would had never been stopped by a stupid door," she thought aloud. "If he could see me…he would probably call me 'soufflé brain'." She smiled sadly, and then looked down at the screwdriver. "I'm so…so sorry."

"Yes…I would feel sorry too, if I had hacked the government. You know that is punishable with five years in prison, right?"

Startled to hear the voice, she looked up. "You?! What are you doing here?! And since when are you there?"

John Smith approached her. "I could ask you the same. I was just curious to see what you would do next."

"Have you satisfied your curiosity?"

Smith crossed his arms. "No. I still don't know what you intend to. Stealing the Tardis? How that would help?"

Clara was surprised to hear that. "Stealing is taking away something from someone who actually owns it! For your information, the Tardis isn't yours!" The girl was so annoyed that she pointed the screwdriver at him menacingly.

He just smirked. "What are you going to do with that? Throw me a screw?"

"Why? Did you lose one?"

"Oh my God…Really, I think you've been traveling with him too long. It seems the rudeness is contagious."

Clara lowered the sonic ashamed. "Sorry… I… I just want to help him."

He offered her his hand, which she took with hesitation. "I know," he said while he helped her to stand up. "But you really need to recover yourself, and this won't help you."

Once she was up, she moved away from him firmly. "Look…I'm fine, I'm more than fine…"

"That's a very bold statement for a person who can barely keep standing."

"Shut up!" Yes. Definitely the rudeness was contagious.

Smith shook his head "I'm being nice. Look…what would the Doctor say to you if he could see you right now? Do you think he would approve you overexerting yourself? You really need to rest and don't worry too much about your friend: after all, he's a Time Lord, right?"

"That's only a title! You don't understand it! He's an idiot with a box and a screwdriver. Now he has neither without his box nor his screwdriver," she said, rubbing her forehead "Right now…he's just an idiot with Scottish accent!"

The man looked more concerned as Clara kept talking.

"Now you only have two options: you can help me to find the Doctor or you can go away, because right here and right now, no one is going to stop me from helping him."

"There is a third option: me calling security."

"You won't do it. You had plenty of time to do it, and you didn't."

"I was curious. But it's never too late."

That was what she needed. Pressure: fuel to her brain.

"If you do that, I'll tell them that this was your idea. Otherwise, how would I know where this vault was in the first place without help from someone from UNIT?"

He raised an eyebrow. "Are you blackmailing me?"

She winked at him. "Am I? Now open it."

"I think that you are forgetting the important bit. Why on earth would I know how to open it?"

Confidently, she went closer to him. "Stop pretending. When Kate casually talked about this 'secret vault' you didn't even seemed surprised. Not to mention that besides being a doctor, you're also the chief engineer of UNIT, and for heaven's sake, even the Doctor said that you were clever. Who else would design this stupid sonic proof thing?"

"Did he actually say that?"

She rolled her eyes. "If you focused on THAT part of my brilliant deduction…you're still a cupcake brain."

He smiled. "I'm starting to understand why he can bear you." Then he came closer, to a panel near the door, and entered a code.

"What about the key thing Kate talked about?" Clara said curiously.

The door began to unlock itself with some heavy sounds.

"Well…yes, I'm the designer after all. I thought it would be clever to install an emergency code in case it would be needed."

"I assume that Kate didn't know about that."

He looked at her sheepishly. "Not exactly, but everybody has secrets."

Clara glared at him. She wasn't sure about that man, after all, the Doctor never trusted him. Why should she?

Finally the door opened, and they could see the Tardis inside the vault, lonelier than ever.

 **Thanks for reading! I hope you're still liking it…? Let me know please : )**


	14. 14 - Emergency Program

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* * *

 _The door began to unlock itself with some heavy sounds._

 _"Well…yes, I'm the designer after all. I thought it would be clever to install an emergency code in case it would be needed."_

 _"I assume that Kate didn't know about that."_

 _He looked at her sheepishly. "Not exactly, but everybody has secrets."_

 _Clara glared at him. She wasn't sure about that man, after all, the Doctor never trusted him. Why should she?_

 _Finally the door opened, and they could see the Tardis inside the vault, lonelier than ever._

* * *

 **Chapter 14: Emergency program**

The Tardis was quieter than usual. Clara headed to the console, while Smith still seemed surprised. "It's incredible. This is even bigger than I expected."

Once he had recovered from the shock, he looked at the girl, worried. "Ok. We're inside. What now?"

Nervously, Clara walked around the console several times. "What I'm going to do has no turning back. It may go wrong. Surely it'll go wrong. I don't want to involve anyone. There is still time for you to leave."

The man looked at the girl determinedly. "Do you really believe that I'd follow you here just to leave now? No way."

"We could end up at the end of the universe. It wouldn't be the first time that happened. Please, you must leave."

Smith crossed his arms and leaned over the railing with no intention of moving.

"For a soldier, you don't obey orders very well."

"I'm not a soldier. I'm a scientist. And I have three good reasons for not leaving: first, you are still my patient and you, miss, haven't been discharged yet. The second, well…my boss is going to kill me when she discovers that I unlocked the Tardis' vault."

Clara smiled at that. "Very good reasons. What about the third one?"

He looked again around the ship, as if, somehow, it was familiar to him. "Look…there are a lot of stories about the Doctor from UNIT. Stories about how he's saved the Earth countless times. It's about time that we return the favor. So shut up and tell me how I can help."

Clara gave him a warm gaze. "Ok. I'm going to do something incredible stupid and I can't be distracted. I need to concentrate. So don't make a sound."

Guessing her intentions, the Tardis made a strange noise. Maybe it was her way of protesting. Clara went to the telepathic circuit and decisively dug her fingers on the gelatinous surface, concentrating on only one question: "Where is the Doctor?"

It happened nothing, but she insisted one more time. Then the rotor of the ship began to move, accompanied by its characteristic hum. "Please, show us where the Doctor is, we need to find him!"

Something definitely happened, something bad. She felt as if a cramp went through her whole body, and a scream echoed in her mind: "Round face! Get out before it ends!"

The girl didn't understand the message, she was only aware of the pain in her fingers and a distant voice calling her name. She felt as someone grabbed her, and seconds later she fell to the ground, gasping for breath. "What happened?" Clara asked looking around, disoriented, just when the Tardis made a very familiar sound, the one that indicated they've landed somewhere.

Smith helped her to stand up. "I don't know. A message appeared on the screen. It said something about a symbiotic link broken and then it electrocuted you. It was really weird. Is it supposed to do that?"

Scared, Clara began to press buttons randomly. "Don't do this! Who the hell do you call 'round face'?" What is the matter with you, old harpy! What does the symbiotic link thing mean?!"

Answering her question, the cloister bell of the Tardis started to sound in the whole ship, and a new message was displayed on the screen: 'Activating emergency program 1'.

"Emergency is a word I don't like. What is all of this about?" Smith asked, a bit uneasy.

Just then, a holographic image of the Doctor was projected in front of them. Immediately, Clara went towards the projection hopefully. "Doctor where are you? What happened?!" Then, she realised that it was only a recording.

"Clara, if you are here, just shut up and listen carefully. If this recording, has been activated means one thing: I'm dead or I'm about to die any second. But don't worry, it also means that you are safe on board the Tardis."

The girl grabbed the nearest rail, looking for something to lean on.

"The old box is very stubborn but smart. I've programmed her to take you to the last safe place where it's been after this message ends."

"Don't you dare do that!" she screamed at the ship.

"I just want to say…thank you. For everything. I know that I haven't been exactly what you expected me to be, and I haven't been any example in kindness and sympathy, but I want you to know one thing ...I always worried about you. Because of that, I did arranged everything for you to start over. After all, you deserve a good life so…" His projection smiled before he continued. "Run, you clever girl, and sometimes, just sometimes, I hope you'll remember this stupid selfish old man. Goodbye, my impossible girl."

His image faded away and the rotor of the ship illuminated again. Clearly it was about to start another trip.

Clara was still shocked, unable to move. But then she remembered the scream in her head. Quickly, she took Smith's hand. "Come on! We need to get out! NOW!"

"The Doctor just said…"

"Forget what the Doctor said! The Tardis wanted me to get out before it ends…I think she was referring to the recording!"

They had just run out the door when the Tardis dematerialized, leaving them behind. Clara looked at the empty space the ship had left as it disappeared, not knowing whether they were trapped anywhere because of a hunch. She'd disobeyed the last will of the Doctor, hoping that the blue box were as smart as the Time Lord believed it was.

"When and where are we?" she finally asked, looking around. "It seems to be a basement of some kind. Are we still in UNIT?"

"I'm…not sure about the place, but we definitely aren't in any facility of UNIT." He pointed at a digital clock on a wall nearby. "But I can answer you when we are: four weeks in the future!"

 **I know I know, this chapter was short and crazy hahaha. What do you think? : )**


	15. 15 - Improvising

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* * *

 _She'd disobeyed the last will of the Doctor, hoping that the blue box were as smart as the Time Lord believed it was._

 _"When and where are we?" she finally asked, looking around. "It seems to be a basement of some kind. Are we still in UNIT?"_

 _"I'm…not sure about the place, but we definitely aren't in any facility of UNIT." He pointed at a digital clock on a wall nearby. "But I can answer you when we are: four weeks in the future!"_

* * *

 **Chapter 15: Improvising**

Clara was still assimilating everything. There were too many things, and although Smith was with her, she could not help but feel a sense of loneliness.

It was then that she started to understand many of the things that had happened some months ago. She liked to control everything, but she always knew that there would be a safety net to cushion her fall. That net was the Doctor. She had never been afraid, because she knew that whatever happened, he was always going to be there to catch her.

But now, the feeling of safety was gone. He had tried to prepare her for something like that, the day they travelled to the moon. The Doctor wanted to show her that there would be a time when she should make decisions alone. Important decisions. Without 'training wheels', he said. She should have listened then.

And there she was, lost in a basement with no clue what to do, and in charge of another person. She looked at her new companion, who was trying to find some information. It seemed that it wouldn't be a problem, since the Tardis had left them in a basement that appeared to have been used as a warehouse to keep records: the ideal place to gather information.

She trusted the Doctor blindly, although sometimes he didn't deserve it. But she still didn't understand the Tardis. Or rather, she claimed that she hadn't understood it. The box was certainly intelligent; stubborn and unbearable at times, but intelligent. The girl was aware of the meaning of the message about the symbiotic link being broken. She had lied to Smith, claiming that it was referring to her taking her fingers out of the telepathic circuit too early, but that wasn't true.

The doctor had told her that he and the Tardis were connected. If something happened to either of them, the link will be broken and, in the case of the Tardis, would lead it to turn off.

There was no doubt that something bad had happened to him. The Tardis was aware of all past and future events, and the old box had shouted it desperately in her face, had even done everything for her to be there and then.

Despite all that, she didn't understand why they had landed four weeks later. If the doctor was in danger, it would have been four weeks ago! Or perhaps she had misunderstood the old box? Frustration was what she felt at that moment.

"Clara. You need to see this." Smith's voice cleared her thoughts.

"What is it?"

"Medical files."

"Are we in a hospital?"

He shook his head. "Not exactly. I think…we're in Zahurex."

Clara glared at him, waiting for more information. "And that is…?"

"It is the best pharmaceutical company in the world. In the last years, it has revolutionized medicine to staggering levels, finding cures for many diseases. But, it's only available to the very wealthy. Big business."

Clara rubbed his forehead. That made no sense. "And why did the Tardis leave us here?"

"Because of this," he said, placing several records on the table. "Look at this. A new asthma medication that reduces symptoms by almost 99%."

"Ok. Good. What about that?"

"UNIT started to investigate this company, but being so lucrative, the government never allowed us to go beyond mere reporting. I always knew there would be something underhand going on, and I think I know what it is now." Smith pointed at a page. "Look where they got the cure from."

Reluctantly, the girl eyed the record. "It can't be…is that what I think it is?" she asked, surprised.

"Yes. The test subject, as they call it, was a Silurian. After dissecting him, they found some cells in his lungs that can reduce asthma."

"They dissected him?" she asked, scared.

"There are more. This one is about another treatment to cure blindness. They found it experimenting with a Sensorite." The young man dropped more files on the table. "Memory problems? They experimented with the neurons of a Tharil until he couldn't remember who he was anymore." Smith was starting to lose his temper. "They have been experimenting with every alien they'd found as if they were mere guinea pigs. Ohhh…and look at this one…during the Cold War, they found a powerful poison in a Zygon, and they sold it to the US government. Guess who sold the cure to the Soviet regime? Yes… the same laboratory."

"So, are you telling me that they are killing aliens just to create new compounds for the sole purpose of augmenting their bank account?" She was astonished.

"We must warn UNIT. We have to stop this right now," he said, pulling out his phone.

Clara grabbed his arm. "You can't call them. They will storm this place like an elephant in a china shop. And what do you think this people will do when that happens?"

Smith widened his eyes. "Get rid of the evidence."

"Exactly. We need to make sure if the Doctor is here and… " The girl swallowed hard before proceeding "… if he's still alive, we need to get him out safe."

Smith nodded and looked back at his device.

"What are you doing?" she asked, worried.

"A long time ago, I programmed an app to scan buildings, searching for electric sources. I thought it was a good way to find free Wi-Fi," he said sheepishly as Clara rolled her eyes. "Anyway, medical devices consume a lot of electricity. If we find out where they are, it will be easier to find exactly where they are doing the experiments. If they have the Doctor, there is a large chance they keep him there."

"That's clever."

He smiled as looked again at the phone. "Ok. The fifth floor seems to be our goal."

"How do we get there?"

"Improvising?"

* * *

Clara took every precaution whenever she had to move through a corridor. The girl didn't know exactly what she faced, but occasionally she saw soldiers with automatic weapons patrolling the building, so she didn't want to be discovered. "Why would a pharmaceutical company have armed soldiers?" she thought. "On second thought, if you do illegal business with clandestine experiments that involves intergalactic murders, it would be quite normal to have that security." Clara sighed. She still didn't know why she had accepted the stupid Smith's plan of separating themselves. Every step she took seemed to take her further and further from the fifth floor.

Still, the man had managed to convince her that it would be wiser to be separated as they would have twice the chance of finding the Doctor. However, she was beginning to regret it. Not just because she was feeling terribly alone in the face of danger, because she was starting to think that someone was following her. Maybe she had just turned paranoid.

The girl approached the next corner and with extreme caution, she peered around it to see if anyone else was in the next corridor. Immediately, she turned to hide again, after spotting two more soldiers guarding a gate. Clara closed her eyes, thinking. "Ok. You can do it. Just slip away in another direction and…"

A strange noise echoed through the place. It was like a scream, definitely, not a human one.

She held her breath, but soon heard a voice. "Hey! Is someone there?" It was one of the soldiers, approaching fast.

Clara didn't think twice, and ran down the hall. She didn't know what the noise was, but if she didn't hurry up and sneak out unnoticed, she was going to be in trouble. The girl turned at the first corner she found. "Please, go the other way, the other way…" she thought, frightened, without realizing what was about to happen.

Suddenly, she felt an arm around her, holding her upright. Terrified, she was about to scream when her captor clamped his left hand across her mouth, stopping her from making a sound.

 **Ok ok… not the best way to finish a chapter. Let me know what do you think : )**

 **Note: Zahurex is an invented name so… if there is a real pharmaceutical with that name, just run away! Hahaha**


	16. 16 - I'm sorry

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* * *

 _The girl turned at the first corner she found. "Please, go the other way, the other way…" she thought, frightened, without realizing what was about to happen._

 _Suddenly, she felt an arm around her, holding her upright. Terrified, she was about to scream when her captor clamped his left hand across her mouth, stopping her from making a sound._

* * *

 **Chapter 16: I'm sorry**

Her body was full of adrenaline. With all of her strength, she tried to free herself but the man's grip was very strong. She felt herself being dragged to a room nearby.

"Shhhh."

Once inside, her captor held her tightly. Clearly, he also didn't want to be found. From the corner of her eye, she could see through the half closed door as the soldiers came into the hall where she had been, only seconds before. The girl froze, holding her breath.

The men stood nearby, talking among themselves. She was so worried about the breathing that she could feel on the back of her neck that she couldn't pay full attention to what they said, something about a fugitive.

Hearing nothing suspicious, the men soon went away. Clara noticed the pressure of the arms that held her beginning to lift, until she was free again. However, she still didn't dare to move.

"Please, tell me it's you," she whispered in the dark.

"I doubt anyone on this planet could answer 'no' to that silly question," a grumpy Scottish voice said in an extremely low voice behind her.

A surge of relief run through her body. She smiled as she turned around, needing to make sure it was him. "Oh my God. Doctor, are you ok?" She inspected him, from head to toe. She couldn't see too much in that dark room but he seemed to be ok.

"Clara Oswald. What the hell are you doing? You're not supposed to be here!" he said, clearly surprised to see her.

"What do you think? Looking for you!"

"Ok. I'm here. I'm fine. Now you can go where you came from. I'm very busy investigating."

"We're not going without you."

"We? Who else is here?"

"John came with me."

"Who is John?"

"Cupcake brain? Does it ring a bell?"

He looked at her blankly, so she clarified. "UNIT's engineer?"

"Oh…that stupid human being." Then his eyebrows became more serious. "Clara…does UNIT know about this? Are they coming?"

Clara shocked her head. "No. Only him and me. Please, tell me what's going on. You were missing."

"Sorry. Got distracted."

"For weeks?"

"Got very distracted."

"Doctor I… I was very worried."

"Of course you were," he said, rubbing his forehead, a bit annoyed. "Clara, this is really dangerous, you need to get out."

She looked at him, realizing how close he was to her. But she didn't care anymore; she was tired of him not allowing her to be near him when there was danger in his way, sending her away. He was about to do it again, and doubted she could take it anymore.

"Why? Why are you pushing me away?" she asked, feeling angry tears fall down her face. "This time, I really thought that you were dead, and I want you to know something: no one in this universe is going to take you away from me again, not even yourself. Whether you like it or not, you're my best friend. I don't care where you go, I'll always find you, because I'm not prepare to lose you too. Do you understand me? So don't you dare leave me behind again," the girl said, glaring at his icy eyes without caring if he saw her crying. But something was different this time; his eyes were warmer than she remembered them.

After endless silent seconds, his hand came up, and with the pad of his thumb, he brushed away her tears. She had a lot of questions and he knew that. Questions that in that moment he didn't want to answer.

Suddenly his hands wrapped around her waist, pulling her even closer. Clara tilted her head toward him with a gasp of surprise on her lips. Then he took her mouth with his own. He was neither rough nor particularly gentle, but he kissed her with certainty. His hands were unmoving on her waist, but his grip wasn't too tight.

She was stiff and unresponsive at first, while her mind and body dealt with the shock of being so close to him, actually touching him: 'the untouchable man'. Involuntarily, she slid her arms over his shoulders, and then wrapped them about his neck.

Clara wasn't thinking straight, because soon, she found herself slowly relaxing and enjoying the embrace. Her lips softened to better fit his and he responded unconsciously. His tongue sought and gained entrance into her mouth, and then everything changed with a fierce rush of lust. She gasped against his mouth and abruptly, he stopped and pulled back, looking into her eyes.

She moved to kiss him again, but he drew back, still staring at her.

"No, don't do it. Please don't start thinking," she begged him in her mind. But it was too late, the moment was gone.

* * *

They walked for almost twenty minutes. His eyes were narrow and focused straight ahead, in case other soldiers appeared. He was walking so fast that he was practically dragging her. She tried to talk to him, but he was just ignoring her questions, as if nothing had happened at all.

"Please, talk to me. Or at least, tell me where are we going?"

"To an exit. I need you to get out of here."

"What?! I'm not going anywhere without you. And what about Smith? He's still there. Have you forgotten about him again?"

The Doctor rolled his eyes. "Look. You have no idea how dangerous this place is. As I said, you're not supposed to be here."

She was about to protest when she realized that his eyes were pretty serious. "Doctor, tell me what happened over the last four weeks."

He opened his mouth and then closed it again. Something wasn't right. He was looking above her shoulder as his eyebrows furrowed. "Of course… such a pity," he said, while Clara looked around without a clue of what he was talking about.

She turned around, to see that Smith was behind them.

"The pudding brain had to come and ruin everything," the Doctor said angrily. Something was definitely wrong.

"Clara, stay away from him," the young man warned her, pointing a gun at the Doctor.

"What?! John! What the hell are you doing? And where did you get that gun?" she said, quickly putting herself between the two men.

"Well…this is a military medical base; it's pretty easy to find one. The real question is: are you really going to shoot me?" asked the Doctor, and to the girl's dismay it seemed that he was challenging him to do so. "Because you don't seem like that kind of man."

Smith cocked the gun. "My grandfather was a soldier. He taught me how to shoot."

The Doctor just smiled acidly. "Good for him, very bad for you."

"Shut up Doctor! Are you mad?" said Clara, still in the middle. She tried to carefully move closer to Smith. "Listen, you are going to put down the gun, ok?"

The Doctor looked menacingly at the other man. "Yes, do as she says, because one of us is going to be hurt and it won't be me. I'm warning you."

Clara was really nervous. "Please, John," she pleaded desperately.

For a moment, the man glanced away from the Doctor to look at the girl. "Clara, you don't understand."

Suddenly, a heavy sound echoed through the place, making her almost cry in horror. To her surprise, she saw Smith's body fall to the floor, face down and completely limp.

The girl put her hands over her mouth, completely speechless while she turned around. She almost fainted when saw the Doctor holding a smoking gun in his hand, which was pointing at her.

She tried to move, but her body was so shocked that she just stayed where she was, unable to do or say anything.

The Doctor went to her, and it was then that her survival instinct began to work. She didn't know how, but her legs were stepping back as she saw him come closer, not stopping until her back was against the wall. Helpless, she felt her heart in her throat and with a lot of effort she formed a question with a low, cracked voice, "What have they done to you?"

He stroked her hair and glared at her silently. She was terrified. "I'm really, really sorry Clara."

Then he hit her temple with the butt of the gun, and she collapsed to the floor.

 **I love plot twists! Yes, this one was crazy but I promise I'll explain it in the next chapter ;) Btw… Did you like it? :S**


	17. 17 - How scared are you?

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* * *

 _Helpless, she felt her heart in her throat and with a lot of effort she formed a question with a low, cracked voice, "What have they done to you?"_

 _He stroked her hair and glared at her silently. She was terrified. "I'm really, really sorry Clara."_

 _Then he hit her temple with the butt of the gun, and she collapsed to the floor._

* * *

 **Chapter 17: How scared are you?**

When Clara woke up again, it took a few seconds to remember what had happened. Her eyes cracked open, and she immediately tried to see where she was.

Apparently, she was in the same building, but in a different place. It looked like a former warehouse of computer equipment. Old machines, some spare parts…a place that should be used for storage, and was not used for housekeeping, judging by the state of the place.

She realized that was sitting in a tremendously uncomfortable chair. She wondered how much time she had been there for. There were no windows, so she couldn't tell what time it was.

The girl began to stretch, before the wound on her shoulder screamed not to give it any kind of strain. Smith had certainly been right when he'd said she had to rest, so her shoulder wound healed properly. Oh God…Smith. Suddenly she felt a twinge in her stomach, remembering how the man had died.

Finally she looked up. The Doctor was in front of her, arms folded, scrutinizing her with his gaze.

"Where am I?" she demanded while trying to stand up, realizing that her hands were handcuffed behind the chair. "What?! Why am I handcuffed?"

"Too many questions. I liked you better when you were in the naptime." He went closer until he could glare at her properly. "I hope your head doesn't hurt too much."

"How dare you!"

"I'm sorry. It was necessary."

"Necessary?!" she repeated incredulously.

"Yes. It was the only way to get out of there quickly." He looked around, clearly annoyed. "Look. The soldiers probably heard the shoot, and you were just… catatonic. There was no time for explanations."

She was still shocked. How could he be talking like that? So cold, and calculating.

"Where is my best friend? Because obviously he's not in this room."

He raised an eyebrow but didn't say anything, instead beginning to pace around.

She knew he wasn't going to answer many questions, so she began out with the one she needed him to answer first. "Why did you kill John?"

"Easy. He was going to shoot me."

"Of course not! He's…he was a good man."

"And I'm not?" he asked, challengingly.

She tried to answer that, but didn't find the proper words. Instead she sighed. "Anyway, why did you handcuff me?"

"Because I don't trust you humans anymore…" he said while watching her struggling, trying to free herself without any luck.

"Be careful. You will open the stitches on your shoulder if you keep doing that."

Then just leaned against the chair, defeated. It was clear that she wouldn't escape any time soon. Clara couldn't stare at him, because she felt angry, betrayed, even ashamed, and the worst part was that he didn't even seem to care anymore.

Finally, she mustered the will to speak again. "You didn't remember him. How could you forget cupcake brain? You were obsessed with his name, you even wrote it down in your 'things to investigate' list. But you just forgot him." She stared straight to his eyes and then she realized that something was really wrong with them. Those big old eyes…it didn't matter what face he wore, they were always sad, with an unknown melancholy imprinted in them, regardless of the regeneration.

How hadn't she noticed before? Although to be fair, she hadn't had much time to observe them carefully, but still, the sadness just wasn't there anymore. It only could mean one thing.

"My Doctor would have never done that."

"Are you sure?"

She took a deep breath; aware that she was about to cross the point of no return.

"I travelled with that man to the end of the universe. I saw him doing crazy and ridiculous things. I know he's neither a saint nor a hero, but I'll tell you what he is: the man who saves people. The man you never will be."

She saw as his expression changed to disappointment. She didn't like it, but she couldn't stop herself, even knowing that exposing him would only bring her serious problems. "You are the other prisoner. The one who killed the Brigadier."

She hoped she was wrong. Wanted him to say that everything was just a trick, that everything was fine and was part of a very clever and ridiculous plan.

Instead, he just asked something obvious. "So, are you scared?"

She didn't answer, but she didn't need to. Her eyes betrayed her, telling him she wasn't just scared. She was completely terrified.

He smiled. "Good. That way it will be easier."

"Easier for what?" she dared to ask.

"All in due time. Anyway. You really must appreciate him when you've come here and risked your own life, without even having a plan. Very brave, but tremendously irresponsible and stupid." He grinned evilly. "Many stupid things are done when you are in love."

Clara winced. How dare that 'thing' judge her like that?

"What? I'm not in love!"

"Oh please, just stop pretending you two. By the way, you kissed me back, oh…you surely did it."

She remembered that, and suddenly felt sick. "You kissed me first, why did you do that?!"

"Don't get excited. It was a way to avoid questions. It worked. And don't play the victim, because apparently you enjoyed it."

The girl was about to protest that statement when she realized what he had said before. "What do you mean by 'you two'?"

He just laughed. "Oh Clara, Clara. You don't know what a man might say when he's high on drugs."

At that moment, her stomach twinged in pain and her heart raced. "Did you drug the doctor?"

"Well…he was very obstinate and uncooperative. So yes, at first it was necessary to sedate him for doing the tests."

Her heart was pounding faster in her chest. "At first? What have you done to him now?!"

"Oh that's the best part. I didn't have to do anything. You can thank the human nature for being so ignorant, egoist, vain, self-centred and…so greedy. They would do anything just to enlarge their bank account, even convincing themselves that murder is fine, if it's for the good of medical advancements."

Clara was speechless. She didn't want to ask the next question, because she wasn't sure if she could stand the answer.

"Is he… dead?" she said eventually, in a very low voice.

The man approached the girl and, standing at its full height, looked into her eyes. "You really care about him, don't you?"

Clara looked away. It was unbearable to glare at that thing and see the Doctor's face.

"Stop being a heartless bastard and answer me!"

"Not yet." He stood up and started to pace again. "The medical team realized that although his body was sedated, his conscience was active. It's incredible, the conscience of his kind, isn't it? They can establish telepathic rapport with any nearby Time Lords. But, I really don't envy him. He must feel very alone, with part of his being unable to contact anyone of his species." Clara was listening intently, and even thought she heard some sadness in this tone. "But I guess his best chance was also his undoing."

"What do you mean?" she asked.

"He tried to use his still active consciousness to force a regeneration and release himself. Very clever."

Her heart made a flip inside her chest. He must had been desperate to try and force a regeneration like that. "What happened then?" she whispered.

"They detected it in time and…decided to solve the problem by inducing a deep coma. The good thing is that he can't regenerate while his brain is completely out. The bad thing is that a Time Lord cannot survive very long without his consciousness active. So yes, he's dying."

Clara felt as if someone had stabbed her. "I think you are lying. You must be lying."

"Oh yes. I read somewhere that the first emotional stage is denial, am I right?"

"Why would you tell me all of this?"

"Why not?"

"It's not very wise to tell your enemy your whole plan."

The fake Doctor snorted and grabbed her head with both hands, forcing her to look at him. "This isn't my plan," he said archly. "And we have no reason to be enemies."

"You're mad. Do I need to remind you that you killed two innocent humans?"

"Innocent? Both the Brigadier and the engineer were pointing a gun at me. It's called self-defence."

"Not if they aren't going to shoot! What about the Doctor? Did you also hurt him to defend yourself?"

He shook his head, exasperated. "Well, if you are staying trapped on a primitive planet you should at least get into a comfortable position. Here, I have been offered a large sum of money in exchange of the Doctor."

She was surprised to hear that. "Are you doing this for money? You're an alien, like him. When they run out of guinea pigs to investigate with, who do you think they'll catch then?"

He smirked at that. "Yeah, I know. You can't trust someone who can only offer money. They could betray you if the sum is higher. But while they are busy with the doctor, they leave me alone, giving me some time. You could call it survival instinct."

"You're an unscrupulous opportunist."

"Could be," he said, starting to walk around her. "However, we both have the same problem."

"Really?" she said, puzzled. "And what is it?" He stood behind her, making her feel uncomfortable. She hated it. If he was up to something, she wouldn't see it coming.

"We both are running out of time. Now tell me," he whispered into her ear. "How scared are you?"

 **Thank you for reading it! I really appreciate you sharing your thoughts. ;)**


	18. 18 - Wasting time

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 ***** WARNING: This chapter contains torture. If you are uncomfortable reading about such topic, don't read it. You've been warned *****

* * *

 _"However, we both have the same problem."_

 _"Really?" she said, puzzled. "And what is it?" He stood behind her, making her feel uncomfortable. She hated it. If he was up to something, she wouldn't see it coming._

 _"We both are running out of time. Now tell me," he whispered into her ear. "How scared are you?"_

* * *

 **Chapter 18: Wasting time**

What sort of a ridiculous question was that? Of course she was scared!

Clara wished that it was only a bad nightmare, but that wasn't happening. "Why did you choose his aspect?"

"I saw you wandering around the building. I figured that if you thought that I was him, it would be easier to make you tell me what I needed to know. Although really, I was doing you a favor."

Clara laughed wryly. "Excuse me if I don't think the same."

He moved closer. "Do you know why they have been experimenting for so many years without anyone noticing it? Because they never leave a loose end, or evidence, let alone witnesses. If they know you're here, no matter what you might have discovered, they will kill you. So, finding you before they did was a big favor, believe me."

She tried to turn around to see him, but it was useless. "Of course, and because you're a philanthropist, I guess you don't want anything in return…"

His fingers played with her hair. "I really would love to chat with you all day, but we're running out of time."

Clara didn't know what he meant. "And what does that have to do with me?"

"I need information. And you will give it to me."

She scoffed at him. "You're dreaming. I won't tell you anything. I don't even know why I'm still talking to you!" Actually, she knew. It was her stupid subconscious, incapable of getting angry with someone who looked the same as the Doctor.

"Of course. It wouldn't be so easy. I'm afraid that because of Smith, you're going to have a tough time."

How did he dare to talk like that about someone he just murdered? Despite her furious glare, he kept talking. "If he hadn't discovered me before, you'd still think I was the Doctor, and you would have told me everything I wanted, without anyone getting hurt."

Clara bit her lip. She had underestimated him. He was clever.

"I need to know one thing. Only one. It's a very easy question." She felt his fingers fiddling around her neck, making her nervous. "Where is the Tardis?"

"What?!" She couldn't believe it. That was what he wanted? Suddenly, everything began to fall into place. He would have tried coaxing the Doctor into telling him, but she knew the Time Lord would never reveal its location. So the alien must have seen a golden opportunity when he found her.

The girl's brain was working really fast. She knew his intentions, but at the same time, she also knew that it was the only thing keeping her alive, or what had forced him into keeping her hidden in that building. She knew that she had to choose her words carefully. But still, she couldn't help but feel anger toward the creature.

"I won't tell you where it is. I won't do it," she said, a bit nervous as his fingers were caressing her throat.

"Oh… I'm pretty sure you will."

"You can torture me all you want, but I won't tell you anything!"

There was a complete silence between them for a few seconds before he spoke again. "Good idea. But, you know…only someone who hasn't been tortured before would dare to say that." She felt him moving closer to her back. "You can choose to suffer or not, but in the end, you'll end up telling me. Don't you think it's better not to suffer?"

"I don't care about the pain, I won't betray the Doctor."

"In that case, I'll show you how I can break your will with only one hand."

Clara laughed nervously, but then she felt his hand running over her neck until it landed on the wound on her shoulder. Just the touch of his hand sent a lash of pain through her, making her breathing become even more rapid.

"Do you feel it?" he said, without moving his hand. "It's nothing. Just my hand above it and it already hurts, isn't it? Imagine if I squeezed my fingers into the wound."

For a moment she could imagine it, and just the thought made her sick.

"Now you've got it, eh? The problem is, it's going to hurt a lot more that you can imagine."

She panicked. "You don't have to do it."

"Of course not. Just tell me what I want to know and I'll release you."

She thought about the old box. She knew that it was the only and the most beloved possession of the Doctor. He would never forgive that betrayal. The last time she saw the ship, it had dematerialized with no one aboard, bound for an unknown destination. It could be anywhere in time and space!

"Please. I don't know where the Tardis is." She confessed with the stupid idea that maybe he would believe her.

He exhaled heavily, clearly annoyed. "Oh Clara…what a pity." And then, he did it. His fingers buried into her wound like a knife into butter. She was paralyzed for a few seconds, trying to understand what was happening to her. And then she felt an excruciating pain rip through her, like a knife was slicing her body in half, a pain that was too hard to bear.

The girl began to writhe in pain, and when she could not take it anymore, all she could do was start screaming. Almost instantly, she felt him covering her mouth with his other hand, preventing any sound from leaving her lips.

"Oh…don't be a bad girl. Be quiet. You don't want them to find you, do you?"

His hand stopped pressing for a few moments, allowing her to regain her breath. When he was sure she was calming down, he removed his hand from her mouth.

"Let's try again. Where is it?"

"Please, I really don't know where it is…"

"I don't have patience for this."

"No, no, please, you have to believe me."

He walked around her angrily, turning to face her. "How stupid do you think I am?" Then he took hold of her chin, forcing her to look at him. "After four weeks, your wound should be healed by now, but it's not." Her eyes widened in shock. "You came here in the Tardis, so don't you dare to lie to me again."

Fearful tears appeared in her eyes "The Tardis dematerialized," she sobbed. "I don't know where it is now. Please, it's the truth."

He buried his fingers even more deeply into her shoulder. Blood started to flow from it as more tears fell down her checks. It was obvious that he wouldn't stop until she confessed.

Hopelessly, her brain began to work. Where should the Tardis be? In all of time and space… She remembered the emergency protocol and the Doctor's last message:

 _\- I've programmed her to take you to the last safe place. -_

She began to feel very dizzy. "Please…stop," she begged, and surprisingly, he did.

Her eyes were terrified, because she knew he hadn't stopped because she had asked. As if he could read her thoughts, he simply said: "You won't be useful if you faint." Then he sighed. "Neither you nor I can afford to waste time this way."

"Why do you keep saying that? And why do you want the Tardis?" she said, breathing laboured.

"Humans…how can you be so dumb? Ok, look. If you don't hurry, your dear Doctor will die soon. As for me, I'm sure the prison is on their way to arrest me again, but this time, they may condemn me to death." He stood up, looking away from her. "I've been running for too long, and I'm sick of it. But there is a difference now. The Tardis is perfect for running away. I…I can start again without looking back."

She was still crying. It was very painful for her to listen something like that in the voice of the Doctor.

"Clara, what's more important to you? Regretting a betrayal, or regretting his death? Every minute you stay here is a waste of time."

She knew he was trying to play with her emotions, but she still couldn't help but think he was right. The only thing that mattered to her at that moment was to save the Doctor, even if the price was so high.

"It's back in the Unit base," she said with a cracked voice "It returned to the last safe place." She swallowed hard, hating herself.

"Where exactly?"

"Why would I tell you the only thing that keeps me alive?"

He chuckled at that. Rational thinking set in and he calmed down, feeling this might be an advantage.

"Come on Clara…you know that I won't do it," he said with warm eyes. He had definitely chosen the best face to convince her otherwise.

A new tear rolled from her eye. "In the basement. In a secret vault, number 40."

He grinned. "See…it wasn't that hard, isn't it?"

Then, to her horror, he pulled out his gun.

"You said you wouldn't kill me!" she almost yelled.

He shrugged. "Sorry, I lied. I can't afford to leave a loose end. Who says you won't try to stop me?" She could felt the steel of the barrel against her neck. "I'm very sorry. But don't worry: it's going to be quick."

Clara was scared. Not just because she was about to die, but also because she was going to die without being able to help the Doctor. She wasn't sure if he would still have time to be found by UNIT, assuming they were still looking for him.

"Please…just tell me. How much time does he have left?"

She could see a puzzled expression on his face as the pressure on her neck was reduced slightly.

"Really? You are about to die, but instead of begging for your life you just…ask about his?"

He shook his head but, to her surprise, he stood up and folded the gun. She looked at him, completely astonished, but still too scared to ask him anything in case he changed his mind again or something.

"Humans…you're so emotional. But it's okay," he said, walking to the door "Now I know that you're not going to try to stop me. You'll be too busy looking for your beloved Doctor." He stopped by the door and hesitated, glaring back, as if he was feeling sorry for her. "Laboratory 503."

"Thank you," she whispered.

"Don't thank me. You are a fool. If you persist with trying to help him, you will end with a bullet in your head. Why get my hands dirty if they are going to kill you anyway?" He left the room, leaving her alone.

She couldn't believe that she was still alive. "Focus, focus!" she thought, struggling with the handcuffs. "There must be a way…" The girl tried to think, but her mind couldn't stop thinking about her friend.

"Doctor…it doesn't matter where you are. It doesn't matter what they have done to you. I'll find you, I promise!" She knew he couldn't hear her, of course, but it was a way to reassure herself.

The metal that held her hands didn't budge an inch. "God…what would he do to free himself?" A smile appeared on her lips. "Of course…" she said, realizing that the Sonic Screwdriver was still in her jacket pocket.

"Just hang on Doctor…I'm on my way."

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	19. 19 - Laboratory 503

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* * *

 _"Doctor…it doesn't matter where you are. It doesn't matter what they have done to you. I'll find you, I promise!" She knew he couldn't hear her, of course, but it was a way to reassure herself._

 _The metal that held her hands didn't budge an inch. "God…what would he do to free himself?" A smile appeared on her lips. "Of course…" she said, realizing that the Sonic Screwdriver was still in her jacket pocket._

 _"Just hang on Doctor…I'm on my way."_

* * *

 **Chapter 19: Laboratory 503**

It was dangerous, incredibly dangerous. Clara knew because she had lost many things along the way: Smith, the Tardis, and after the encounter with the alien shapeshifter, she had sacrificed some of her dignity.

The girl was not willing to lose more; in fact, she had two things left to lose, only two: her own life, and the Doctor. And if she knew anything for certain, it was that she didn't want to live without him. Maybe that was why she was risking everything in those corridors, where the only things in its path were aberrations.

Being very careful, she ran through the hallways, moving towards the fifth floor and avoiding any soldiers and scientists who walked by.

She'd seen the records, and although she could imagine the atrocities of the experiments, it was not until a few minutes later when Clara could see the desperation in person.

The girl heard several voices in the hallway, and screams that were definitely not human. It was clearly the same scream she had heard just before being found by the shapeshifter.

She hid behind a column, trying to see what was happening. Just then, a Silurian sprinted down the hall. He seemed terrified, while also exhausted.

Clara watched helplessly as two soldiers ran after him, gaining ground. They soon tackled him and grounded him, reducing the lizard even though he kept shaking and screaming as if he were a wounded animal.

"Hold him, I've almost got it."

One of the soldiers had grabbed him by the wrists, holding them back and keeping him immobilized.

"Please, no more!" the lizard begged, frightened.

Without listening to him, another soldier pulled out what looked like a syringe, and didn't hesitate to inject it into the neck of the Silurian. After a few seconds he stopped moving, and his body remained motionless. Only then did the other soldier release him.

"Damn lizard! It took us several hours to catch this scoundrel! He thought he was going to escape. What a fool."

The other man smirked while he pulled out a walkie-talkie. "Post 500 calling Head Office. Subject number 9 is under control. Awaiting orders."

After a few seconds, a voice from the speaker echoed in the place. "This is Head Office. Subject rejected. Clean everything."

"Ok. Done." The soldier turned off the device while shaking his head. "Well… So much running for nothing. Anyway, let's liquidate him in the basement. I don't want to leave late from work. Came on, help me lift him up."

Clara couldn't believe how easily they could decide about someone's life. She wanted to help the Silurian, but she didn't know how.

"What about our sentry post?" the other one asked.

"Don't worry about that. This won't take us too long. Besides, I don't think the Scottish alien can go anywhere."

Had she heard that? Scottish alien? That meant these lunatics were guarding the Doctor. And that they were busy. Feelings of guilt and powerlessness flooded her mind. "I'm sorry," she whispered, knowing the fatal the lizard man would meet.

When the soldiers had left the corridor, she took a deep breath and looked around. Could it be possible?

Clara looked at every one of the doors she went past, until she saw a sign: Laboratory 503.

With the aid of the sonic screwdriver she unlocked the door, and cautiously entered the lab. It looked like a hospital room, but much less welcoming.

Slowly, she approached the bed. What she saw paralyzed her body. On the bed was someone she knew too well.

"Doctor!" she whispered, moving towards him faster.

The only answer was the beeping of the medical device. She looked at him closely, and immediately regret doing it.

She realized that he had lost a lot of weight. His skin was paler than usual and dark marks were visible beneath his eyes, which had the look of someone who had been under immense pressure. She could tell he had been through a lot.

He seemed to be breathing regularly, but he was completely unconscious. It was clear that the shapeshifter hadn't lied when he said they had induced a coma.

Her fingertip touched his forehead and her hand recoiled. His skin was cold to the touch. Ice cold. She pulled the covers part away. His bare chest was white, just like his face, but what most drew her attention were the marks he had and the wires attached to his torso.

She looked away, but then her eyes stopped at his arm. An IV drip fed into it. Maybe it had the sedative that was keeping him unconscious.

"Oh my God. What are they doing to you?"

His wrists were sore and swollen from the handcuffs that were still locked, restraining him to the bed. It was obvious that he had been trying to release himself with all of his strength.

Clara was furious. "He's drugged. They're keeping him drugged. How can he defend himself?"

Her hand touched his cheek, caressing it. "Doctor…I'm here," she whispered, looking properly at his face. Sweat dotted his brow. He looked very sickly. "Please, tell me you can hear me."

Looking down at his face, Clara was suddenly aware of the awful reality of her situation. What if the Doctor didn't wake up? She had no clue of what to do.

The girl looked at the machines connected to him and raised her hands, hesitating. "I'm not a doctor, I don't know what to do." She knew there was something out of her hands but didn't realize what it could be.

Clara began to feel hopeless. "Come on…I'm here, I found you! And you're still alive." Carefully, she patted his cheek. "Please Doctor, wake up, don't be selfish and do something!"

Clearly, he wasn't going to wake up anytime soon. She looked back at him, realizing how helpless and vulnerable he looked at that moment.

"I'm sorry. Everything's my fault," she said, wanting to cry, but her eyes didn't have any tears left. "It was me who pushed you to go with the brigadier, and…I also brought Smith here just to die, oh my God..." The girl took his hand into hers, seeking some kind of comfort. "I'm a mess without you. Please… I…I need you."

Then something could be heard: a slight beeping from one of the machines. "Doctor?" she whispered with hope, but his whole body was still motionless. "Doctor was that you? Can you hear me?"

Some voices came from the hall outside the laboratory. "Oh God, they're coming." Quickly, she looked around the room, desperately seeking a spot to hide. "Please, please, please, there must be somewhere to…"

The sound of the footsteps was getting closer. "Oh, not again," the girl thought as she ran and crawled under his bed, just as the door opened.

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	20. 20 - My Clara

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* * *

 _Then something could be heard: a slight beeping from one of the machines. "Doctor?" she whispered with hope, but his whole body was still motionless. "Doctor was that you? Can you hear me?"_

 _Some voices came from the hall outside the laboratory. "Oh God, they're coming." Quickly, she looked around the room, desperately seeking a spot to hide. "Please, please, please, there must be somewhere to…"_

 _The sound of the footsteps was getting closer. "Oh, not again," the girl thought as she ran and crawled under his bed, just as the door opened._

* * *

 **Chapter 20: My Clara**

Clara crouched, adopting a fetal position to avoid anybody seeing her under the bed. For the first time in her life, she was grateful to only be five feet tall.

From her position under the bed, the girl could see another person was in the room, a scientist judging by the white coat peeking just above his feet.

"Do we have the results of the biopsy?" she heard a male voice saying. In the absence of anyone else in the room, she concluded that he was talking on the phone. "No. It's too late to try that. I'm checking his vitals right now, and we have a problem."

Clara watched as the guy dropped a backpack on the floor, while beginning to manipulate the machinery connected to the Doctor. "Oh shit…this time it was less effective, his level of consciousness is starting to rise again. He may try to wake up."

Clara looked up, with a glimmer of hope in her eyes. That was the words she needed to hear: Wake up.

"Yes, I know…too little and he would start to wake, too much and his heart rate fell to seemingly dangerous levels. […] What?! No way, if we double the dose of sedative, it could kill him. His cardiorespiratory system is already compromised […] Yeah, yeah… ok, you are the boss. I'll start a new dose then."

The girl wanted to get out and punch the man in the face, but instead she closed her eyes as her fist clenched angrily. It wasn't the time for that, not yet.

The man hung up the phone and went to a medical cabinet nearby. "Damn…we've run out of drips in here."

Clara saw as he opened the door of the laboratory. "Oh, where are the security gorillas when you need them?" He turned around, glaring at the sleeping form of the Doctor. "Don't you dare wake up until I return."

As soon as Clara saw him walk out the door, she rushed out of her hiding place. Without any doubt, the girl had a new clear objective in mind: she wasn't going to leave the Doctor at the mercy of that rabble, not anymore.

With the sonic screwdriver, she freed his wrists from the handcuffs that held him prisoner, and without even thinking about the medical consequences, she began to remove all the needles and wires that were connected to his body. She was so angry that hadn't even thought about how she would remove him from there. But didn't care about that, not anymore – her brain was attempting to organize their escape. The girl looked around, searching for something useful, and her gaze fell on the backpack that the scientist had left on the floor. Inside were some personal objects, and just underneath them, a gun.

Clara shook her head, and quickly grabbed some medical supplies and bandages from the cabinet and put them into the backpack. "I hope it will be enough." She put the backpack on over her shoulders.

Although she was much smaller than him, she was willing to try to pick him up when a hand grabbed her wrist. Her breath stopped in her throat.

"Doctor?" Clara said looking down at him. The first thing she could see were his eyebrows obfuscating, and then his eyes cracked open.

"Don't you dare…touch me," a terribly hoarse voice said.

"It's ok. It's me, Clara," she said, looking at his hand. The grip wasn't very hard, but she knew it was all the strength he had left. It was painful to see him so weak, but it was obvious that he was still fighting as much as he could.

"Do you really think I'm going to fall for that again? You had better change your aspect back, or I swear, I'll rip all your scales one by one"

Her hearth missed a beat. "Doctor, it's me, the real Clara."

"No, you're not!" he almost shouted angrily. "You have no right to wear her face, not hers…not hers!"

"Please, Doctor. It's just me."

His eyes wanted to believe her, she could see that, but his hand didn't release her wrist.

"Prove it. Tell me something only my Clara would know."

She bit her lower lip, wanting to repeat that was her, but she understood his doubts. In fact, it was the sensible thing to ask in that situation.

"Do you remember what you asked me, a very long time ago in Glasgow?"

"You tell me."

With her free hand, she gently stroked his wrist, avoiding touching the wounds on it. "You asked me if I was going to help you." His fingers reduced their pressure on her arm. "Two times, with different voices." She smiled, sadly, as the Doctor's fingers slid down her arm. "And I didn't answer you. I suppose it's about time."

"Clara...my Clara," he whispered, with a spark of relief in his eyes.

"Yes. I'm here. I'm going to help you. Always. You only need to ask it. But you already knew that, don't you?"

Her eye winked at him and the Time Lord smiled warmly. "My impossible girl."

She patted his arm. "Shut up. It's not the time for that. Can you move?" she asked urgently.

He looked down at his own body. "Don't know."

Firmly, she placed her arm in the back of his neck and very slowly, helped him to stand up into a sitting position. "Wow…I thought you would be heavier. You really are a skeleton man now."

The Doctor made a nasty face. "Thanks, Round Face."

"Oi! Now I know who the Tardis get her vocabulary from."

"Sorry what?"

"Nothing. Come on, now your legs."

"I'm not sure about it." Judging by the look in his eyes, he was dizzy.

Clara was extremely worried about that; she realized that he didn't even have enough strength to stay sitting upright. "Come on. Do you think I went through so many things to be here, just to find you whining and giving up? Move your Time Lord ass…now!"

He looked incredulously at her. "Are you sure you're Clara? Because I remember her being less bossy and certainly less foul-mouthed…and maybe taller."

Moving to his side, she took his arm and placed it around her shoulders. "I just need you to move your feet. I will hold your weight. Are you ready?"

"No."

"It was a rhetorical question. Let's go."

As gently as she could, she pulled him to his feet, and wound her other arm around his waist for added support.

She gritted her teeth. Not because he was too heavy, but because the wound in her shoulder protested again.

"Whoa…Clara, not so fast."

"Doctor, you didn't even walk one step yet."

"Because you are supposed to lead the way, and if I can make a point…"

"No. You can't."

"You're worse than the heartbreak ridge. And why the room is spinning? Are we in a giant washer?"

"It must be that your body is still drugged. Come on Doctor, that's it, another step."

"That explains a lot, such as why I'm numb, why I am seeing double, and that could even explain why a unicorn named Henry is following us."

"You made up the last part, right?"

He smiled. "You can ask Henry. But I warn you, he doesn't like you."

She rolled her eyes as they walked together. "You're definitely high on drugs."

When they reached the hallway, the Doctor looked around. "This is weird," he said, trying to focus his eyes. "Why is no one here?"

"You should be grateful for that."

"Of course, but it's still strange. I should know why, but my brain is still groggy."

* * *

After several minutes of walking through halls, his breath was more labored and his limbs were beginning to feel leaden. He was not sure how much longer he would be able to keep this up. Every step he took felt like he had shards of glass floating around his back, stabbing him in the spine. He didn't tell Clara, but she noticed as he leaned more and more on her.

"Hang on Doctor, you're doing great."

"Liar."

Then his feet stopped, and suddenly his legs gave up.

"Doctor!" Clara had to hold him with both arms to keep him from falling. "What's the matter?"

She saw he couldn't breathe properly. "I need…to make…a pit stop."

"What? Doctor, we can't just stop here. We need to get out. They could catch us at any moment!" She looked at his face, which was turning paler. "Is something wrong?"

"No," he said, with the face of a compulsive liar.

"Ok. I know a place to stay. Just hang on a bit more."

A few minutes later and with too much luck, they came to the old warehouse where the shapeshifter had questioned her. "It's safe here. Nobody seems to care about this place."

The Doctor couldn't stand anymore, and collapsed. Clara attempted to hold him with all her strength but the sudden weight was too much. She fell on her knees, but managed to prevent the Doctor from hitting his head.

"Ok. Easy. I got you." She put his head in her lap. "Please, tell me what's wrong."

"Nothing," he said, with too much difficulty.

The girl placed her other hand against the back of his neck, slowly turning his head to look at his eyes, which were glassy and unfocused. "No. You tell me! I can't help if you don't."

He opened his mouth to speak, but his labored breathing stopped him.

With trembling hands, he took her wrist and placed her hand on the left side of his chest. Her fingers could feel his left heart beating extremely slowly under his skin. She looked at him, worried. Then he moved her hand again, to the right side of his torso. Clara could feel nothing there. She moved her hand, but she found nothing, no beating.

"Oh my God…you only have one heart working, and it's arrhythmic!"

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	21. 21 - A monkey with two hands

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* * *

 _With trembling hands, he took her wrist and placed her hand on the left side of his chest. Her fingers could feel his left heart beating extremely slowly under his skin. She looked at him, worried. Then he moved her hand again, to the right side of his torso. Clara could feel nothing there. She moved her hand, but she found nothing, no beating._

 _"Oh my God…you only have one heart working, and it's arrhythmic!"_

* * *

 **Chapter 21: A monkey with two hands**

Clara wasn't sure what to say or do. All she could manage was to hold him. The girl knew he was in pain, and he was doing a very good job covering it up. She took his hand in hers, and sighed in relief when he responded.

"Tell me what to do," she said, caressing his hand. "Tell me how to help you."

"You can't." His weak whisper was like a taunting cut to her soul. She could feel the pain in his voice like it was her own.

"Can't I?" she said, frustrated. "If you're thinking giving up is the best option, try remembering this…don't tell me what I can't do, because if I really want something bad enough, there's nothing, nothing, that is able to sway me. Do you understand?"

"I already know that." The Doctor closed his eyes. "But I don't want you to…"

"What?" she interrupted him. "To do what I must to save your life?"

"I don't want you to risk your life trying to get the supplies to save mine."

"Doctor, I would do anything for you."

"That's the problem." With too much effort, he moved his head to look at her, with an expression she did not understand. "Clara, if something happens to you…" He didn't finish the sentence, instead looking at her, puzzled because she was smiling.

"You're lovely when you're drugged. And don't worry; I already brought some medical supplies. Just tell me what you need."

"A shot of adrenalin to stimulate my cardiovascular system."

Carefully, she placed his head on the floor and reached into the backpack. She started to get all the medical supplies, placing them on the floor. "Come on, come on…" She looked for the one she needed.

Her hands found the gun inside the backpack, and she threw it away angrily. Just when she was losing hope, a syringe appeared which read: Adrenaline. "Thank God."

She ran to the Doctor's side. "Ok. I have it. Now what?"

The Doctor took a deep breath before answering. "You have to inject it."

She nodded, taking his arm but he tried to push her away.

"No…too slow. You've to inject it directly into my working heart."

"What?!"

"My right heart is lost. You have to keep 'lefty' beating. Just inject it between my fourth and fifth ribs."

With her fingers, she touched his bare skin looking for the exact point in his thorax. It was easy to find. She held the syringe firmly with her other hand. Before doing anything, Clara looked at the Doctor, who just nodded weakly.

Quickly, she raised her arm, but at the last moment, she hesitated. What if it didn't work? After all, it was his only working heart.

"I can't do it," she realized aloud.

"It's easy."

"What if I don't do it right? What if I puncture a vital organ? What if I…kill you?" Her face was horrified with the idea.

"Even a monkey with two hands could do it."

Her fingers were trembling uncontrollably while she was still holding the barrel of the syringe.

"Oh Clara, you're the most useless companion who ever walked inside the Tardis."

She looked at him, surprised.

"If you don't know how to use your hands, or cooking, or telling bad jokes, what is the point of keeping you on board?"

And that was it. An excruciating pain in his chest made him to shut up and almost forget how to breathe.

"What...have…you done!" he said with the last of the air in his lungs, aware that the needle was already inside him. Clara pressed the plunger, emptying its contents directly into his heart.

In one swift movement, she pulled out the syringe and threw it away carelessly. Then he gasped desperately for air, as his chest burned inside him.

Seeing that he was having trouble breathing, she quickly laid him on his side, holding his head in her lap, and eased any discomfort he may have been feeling. "Breathe in, that's it…" She checked his pulse, pressing her fingers against his neck. It was fast; far quicker than it had been when she checked it before. "Keep breathing out."

"It…hurts," he managed to whisper.

"It's ok. You're alive. That's all that matters," she told him as she kept embracing him.

She didn't know what to do, so she prayed for his left heart to slow down a bit.

After a few minutes of silence, she looked down at his face. His eyes were closed but she knew he was awake, because his hand didn't let go of her own. Her fingers were still checking his pulse. Fortunately, his working heart was beating strongly at a normal pace then.

"Doctor, it's all right," she said, rubbing her thumb softly over his neck.

"No it's not," he said without opening his eyes "You little Dalek…you…actually…stabbed me!"

"Well…you compared me to a monkey."

"Yes, because I thought that if I made you angry with me, it would be easier for you to inject it." His eyes opened tiredly. "But you...you…stabbed me!" he repeated incredulously.

"It worked."

"No, this is a temporary fix. It'll only last until the adrenaline dilutes. I need to go to the medical bay of the Tardis."

It was her heart which felt stabbed at the mention of his ship. Her arms slightly loosened around his body. He could feel her fear.

"Clara, don't worry. All I need is in the Tardis. We just need to get in there. The sooner the better."

Her eyes became blurry and she turned her head, avoiding looking at him. She didn't know how to tell him the truth. How to tell him that…she'd betrayed him.

Even through his glassy eyes, he could see that something was wrong.

"There are three things I can't stand in this universe. First, Daleks, easy to guess. Secondly, bitter coffee. I can't understand why anybody could drink that. And C, no wait. Third. Your inflated eyes. They're extremely unpleasant."

She rubbed them. Trying to prepare to face the Doctor. "The Tardis…she isn't here."

"Oh. And how did you come here? Did you come alone?" he asked uneasily.

"No." Her hands tensed. "John came with me."

"And where is he now? How dare that ape leave you alone?! I'm going to have some words with that cupcake brain… he's so fired."

"Doctor…" She looked at the wall, ashamed. "…he's dead"

Silently, she felt his gaze fixed on her. "Tell me what happened."

"I…can't," the girl said, scared. And then, she broke down in tears.

"Clara?" His concern was increasing as her head buried into his chest, hiding her face.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry," she said, sobbing against him. "…So, so sorry," she repeated again. "Everything it's my fault. John's dead and then, the Tardis, I swear that I didn't want to…but I just…oh, God." Her grip on him tightened, afraid to let him go.

"Oh Clara, what have you done?" he whispered nervously.

It was time to tell him the truth.

"Doctor, I told the shapeshifter where the Tardis was."

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	22. 22- What would you do?

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* * *

 _"I'm sorry, I'm sorry," she said, sobbing against him. "…So, so sorry," she repeated again. "Everything it's my fault. John's dead and then, the Tardis, I swear that I didn't want to…but I just…oh, God." Her grip on him tightened, afraid to let him go._

 _"Oh Clara, what have you done?" he whispered nervously._

 _It was time to tell him the truth._

 _"Doctor, I told the shapeshifter where the Tardis was."_

* * *

 **Chapter 22: What would you do?**

Silence. For several minutes, silence was the only thing that could be heard. She had told him about how the Tardis dematerialized behind her. And then, its acronym make more sense than ever, because it could be anywhere in time and space.

The Doctor's body had tensed so much that she pulled away from him. Not because she feared him, but because she thought that at that moment, he would like some space between them. It was as if that revelation had built an invisible wall that she didn't dare to break, not until he said something. But there were no words, not a single one. His eyes were closed, but she knew he was awake because his brow was furrowed.

In fact, to her it was pretty obvious that instead of using words, he was mentally screaming and cursing all of her human ancestors, going right back to the Neanderthals because of her stupidity.

That silence was killing her. She saw him shaking and wanted to comfort him, but she doubted it would be a good idea.

"Doctor, shout at me, beat me if you want, but for heaven's sake say something."

Clara didn't know what would be worse: the Doctor angry, or that awkward silence. Finally, his brow returned to normality and she supposed that the storm of curses and insults had stopped.

That was what she thought, but the truth was that his pain was even worse than before, and he was trying hard to hide it. "I'm cold," he said after a while.

It was true. His body was still shivering. The shot of adrenalin was starting to wear off, making his working heart pump blood more slowly. That didn't help to keep him warm.

"So cold," he added.

Clara sniffled a bit, and took a look around the room. There was nothing that could help, so she took off her jacket and rubbed it on his chest, trying to warm him up.

As she did that, his gaze was fixed on a red spot over her shirt, right on her shoulder. "You're hurt," he said, alarmed.

"It's nothing. Just dry blood."

"Too much dry blood." The worry was evident in his eyes. "Are you going to tell me what happened?"

She looked at the wall, rubbing her forehead tiredly. "Please, don't insist. It's nothing. Let's focus on how we're going to escape."

The Time Lord just sighed tiredly and shook his head. "There is only one way out."

"A way out is better that none at all. Tell me."

His gaze fell on hers for the first time in a while. It was unsure, because for once, he hoped that the human survival instinct would come first. He hoped for her to understand.

"Clara, leave me here. I can't even stand for myself, but you would have a chance."

The girl wanted to think his brain was affected by the drugs, for thinking that she would be able to leave him there to his fate. She wanted to get angry, but instead, a nervous smirk appeared on her lips. "Came on, don't be so alarmist. We'd been in worse situations than this. And since my plan hasn't gone as expected, we need a new one. Think of something practical."

He rolled his eyes, worried that she didn't understand the gravity of their situation. "Yours didn't even count as a plan. My mind is still foggy, but I'm realistic. Do you want something practical? It's better that one of us can run away than the two of us being caught. And…" He hesitated before continuing. "They want me alive, for the moment, but you…they'll kill you, Clara."

"Shut up. They'll kill us both." Her tone was too rude, but she wanted him to stop thinking like that, defeated. "Doctor, think about a Plan B, because I'm not going to leave you here. And that is my last word on the subject."

"For Rassilon's sake, just stop been so human! Don't listen to your human emotions, just be responsible for once and focus on the logic part. Even if you have a tiny brain I think you could manage doing that."

"Careful. Even a monkey with two hands can punch you," she pointed out "And being a lout will never work with me. So, Plan B?"

If he had the strength, would have raised his arm in surrender because of her stubbornness. His features tried to concentrate. "Ok. We need help. The Tardis is not an option. What do we have?"

"The sonic, some identification cards and a bunch of medical supplies." She bit her lip, didn't want to tell the Doctor that there was a gun in the backpack. He'd never approve of that.

"I thought I would never say this, but we need the cavalry." He exhaled heavily, even annoyed. "We need to call UNIT. But please, don't tell them it was my idea, I have a reputation to maintain."

She smiled sadly at that. "I already tried that…but I don't have a phone here. John had it."

Then, a loud noise could be heard. It was an alarm.

Immediately, Clara looked at the door of the room. She'd locked it with the sonic, but if that alarm was because of them, didn't know how much time they would have left, until those mad soldiers found them. "Doctor, I'm afraid we need a Plan C, and quickly."

"Clara, if you keep doing that, the alphabet will need more letters." His breathing was becoming laboured again. She held him in her arms again, trying to ease his lungs.

"What is it?" She asked fearfully. Her list of problems didn't seem important any more.

"The adrenalin is gone. I can feel…" But no words formed, only dry coughs that left him even more out of breath. She held him firmly until he got his breath back.

"Another arrhythmia is coming," his dry mouth murmured exhaustedly.

"There is another shot in the backpack. I checked it."

"No…"

"Don't worry. I'll be more gentle this time."

"That only works once. Now, it's useless."

"Doctor, you can't be saying that we can do nothing…" she realized, scared. Her arms were shivering, but at that time she couldn't tell if they were from his body or her own.

"Well…actually, there is something I can do."

She looked back at him with hope, but his features were sad, hurt, even angry.

"Maybe it's time for the next one," he said finally. Those words hurt her more than the wound in her shoulder. For a moment her brain was still processing them.

"No." It was only a whisper. She felt her head get heavy and she leant back on the wall nearby, trying to hope that it was only a dream.

"I can't lose you," she admitted aloud, trailing off. He raised an eyebrow, giving her a curious look. He really didn't know how much he meant to her.

"How could you lose me? I can't even move. It's physically impossible."

She took his cold hands in hers. "You know what I mean."

"You won't." His voice was serious, but he tried to force a smile. "And who knows…maybe this time you'll get a new young knight in shining armour with incredibly good hair."

She didn't return the smile. "I don't need that. All I need is here, in front of me."

"Don't be ridiculous. I wanted to be ginger and I ended up grey, old, rude, and…well," his gaze felt to the floor, "not what you deserve."

"Are you ashamed to show how you are?" Gently, she dug her fingers into his curly hair. "I don't want you to wear a veil, not anymore." He looked at her puzzledly as she kept talking. "I want to see your angry eyebrows, your stupid theories, your silly fashion sense, your grumpiness, your impossible culinary tastes…"

"You can stop. I get the point."

"…Your grey, now wild hair, even your ridiculous collection of Where's Wally. I want you just as you are, not in spite of it."

Trembling, he squeezed her hand. "Clara, I'll just… change… a bit. I promise that I won't…"

"No. Don't make promises you can't keep. With every regeneration, a new man appears, with new tastes, a new personality. I know that you won't forget me, and maybe I'm just being selfish but… what if your future self don't like to travel with me anymore?"

He smiled weakly. "If that ever happens, smack me so hard that I regenerate again." He released her hand. "Lefty is starting to fail again. It's time. Clara, you have to step aside."

She reluctantly did as was told. Gently, she placed him over the floor again as her gaze never left his hand, waiting for the orange glow to appear. But it never happened.

The Doctor was looking at his hand too.

"What is it?" she dared to ask, hoping that he came up with another plan at the last time.

"My silly body is intoxicated with drugs and meds. I can't start it. I…" His eyes were wide open. "I can't regenerate."

"What that means?" Her voice sounded anxious. He remained silent, lost in thought.

Impatient, she cupped his head in her hands "Doctor?"

"Clara, I think that… I'm dying."

The girl tried to process what she just heard. What was the point of all of that?

"You can't die," she said absently.

"Well… my body thinks otherwise. Any moment now, I'm going to have a cardiac arrest."

The loud sound of the alarm mixed with some distant voices.

"Clara, you should go. Save yourself while you can."

She didn't listen to him, was too busy trying to understand. "This is nonsense. Why would the Tardis do this?"

"Don't blame her. She did what I programed her to do. If she detects my… demise, she'll take you to a safe place. But why would you follow the rules… no, you have to put yourself in danger coming here. You are impossible."

"She wanted me here, I think she wanted me to save you. What I don't understand is why she took me here four weeks later. Why didn't she land sooner, when you were less sick?"

"Don't try to understand her. I've tried for two thousand years and I still don't have a clue." He grinned. "So… sexy."

She glared at him. "But she can see the future, I mean our timelines, right? So if she wanted me here to save you, is because she saw it happening. So you are not going to die…" Finally she smiled with hope.

The Doctor returned a shadowy sad smile.

"Oh Clara, always so optimistic. But maybe she was being kind."

"Kind?"

"Maybe she just wanted us to say goodbye properly."

"No. She couldn't have brought me here to watch you die. That's cruel!" She was so angry that didn't care if anyone could hear her.

"It would be more cruel not seeing each other one last time," he admitted. "It would be more cruel to die alone."

"Don't talk like that! You're not going to die!"

His eyes were sad, and glistened with unshed tears. "Clara, I have to tell you something. It could be the last chance to say it…"

He was abrupt interrupted by some shots and screams coming from nearby.

"They're coming," she said nervously. Determinedly, she headed to the backpack, where she scattered its contents and took the gun in her tiny hands.

The Doctor was surprised and horrified at the same time. "Clara, what are you doing?!"

"I'm not going to let them in."

"Drop that gun, now."

"No! I'm going to protect us as much as I can. I don't care about your rules anymore."

"Don't you dare. I taught you better than this." His voice was cracking. At first she thought it was because of the increase of his physical pain.

"Killing is wrong. You have no right to take anybody's life."

"This time we don't have a choice."

"There's always a choice." His voice cracked even more, and then she realized he was silently crying. She couldn't believe it, the man of ice was crying completely broken in her arms. She was completely shocked, but was convinced it was for the best. "Clara, if you pull the trigger you'll break my heart… and by the way, I only have one left."

A gulp formed in her throat as she bit nervously her lips, holding the gun pointed at the door, unable to look back at him, unable to see the pain she was causing him.

"Do you remember the Teller, when we robbed the bank of Karabraxos?" she asked, trying to make a point. "I said that thing was dangerous because it killed people. But then, you defended it: 'so might you do, to protect everything you love', you were the one to say that."

The noises from the outside were getting closer.

"I'll do anything to protect you," she said, waiting for a new lecture. But he didn't say anything. Very strange for a man who always wants to have the last word.

"Doctor?"

Worried, she turned back to look at him. His eyes were closed and his features were strangely relaxed.

"Oh God…" Quickly, her fingers rushed to his neck, searching for his pulse, but couldn't find it. "No, no, no, don't do this to me, you selfish man!"

 **If I were you, I'll leave a review before the monkey with two hands smack you ;D**


	23. 23 - The other Doctor

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* * *

 _"I'll do anything to protect you," she said, waiting for a new lecture. But he didn't say anything. Very strange for a man who always wants to have the last word._

 _"Doctor?"_

 _Worried, she turned back to look at him. His eyes were closed and his features were strangely relaxed._

 _"Oh God…" Quickly, her fingers rushed to his neck, searching for his pulse, but couldn't find it. "No, no, no, don't do this to me, you selfish man!"_

* * *

 **Chapter 23: The other Doctor**

Clara was horrified. For a moment her mind collapsed, unable to keep up under the pressure, to think straight, to accept that he might be dead.

"You can't do this. You can't die, can't leave me, can't…please, don't die on me," she begged between sobs, placing a gentle hand on his cheek. "Please…I need you." He was so pale, his skin cold to the touch.

Clara's desperation to force him to wake up led her to put her hands on his shoulders and shake him. "You need to wake up, please, I can't live in a universe where you don't exist." She cried harder and slumped forward, burying her face into his inert chest. "Please, open your eyes, just do it for me."

A few more tears rolled down her cheeks, as she felt completely lost and useless.

"Don't listen to your human emotions, just be responsible for once and focus on the logic part." Those words echoed in her mind. There must be something she could do or try…

She looked away from his body, trying to think. "Ok. Cardiac arrest, you said that, but I don't know what the hell to do! I'm not a doctor! Think, think you stupid monkey!" She said to herself.

All of a sudden, her brain screamed at her what to do. It was stupid because she didn't have any medical training, but she must try it. At least, it's what she had learned from watching TV dramas: how to do mouth-to-mouth resuscitation.

Tipping his head back, she pinched his nose, and softly joined her lips with his, breathing five quick breathes into his mouth until she saw his chest rising.

Finding the right spot just beneath his left heart, she placed one hand on top of the other and laced her fingers together before starting compression. Clara concentrated and counted. Fifteen compressions and two more breaths. She checked his pulse. Nothing. Compressions, breaths. Still no pulse. She went again and this time when her lips touched his, she could felt that he was getting colder.

"No, no, no, don't!" She breathed more air into his lungs but it didn't seemed to work.

"Please, don't surrender, not here, not now."

She was too concentrated with him that wasn't aware until then that there were some noises just behind the door. "Are you there?! Open the door!"

She heard that they were trying to batter the door in. Quickly, she took the gun in her hands.

"I won't let them to touch you." With a shaking hand, she pointed the gun at the door "Not while I'm still breathing."

The door gave away and opened. Some men were about to enter when she fired the gun at the ceiling.

"Stand back or I'll shoot!" she shouted out for everyone to hear.

"Clara, don't! It's us." Slowly, a man stepped in, raising his arms.

She couldn't believe what her eyes were seeing.

"Tell me one reason I should not shoot you." She still didn't believe it, so she adjusted the gun in her nervous hand.

"Ok. I know that it can be a bit shocking but, please, it's just me."

John Smith approached her slowly, while some UNIT soldiers waited just behind him. His gaze quickly fell to the floor, where the doctor was lying.

"No! Step back! Now you wear dead people faces? Do you have no shame at all?" She looked back at the soldiers. "He's an impostor. John Smith is dead! I saw it happen!"

"No." Carefully, he remained where he was. "You saw the shapeshifter shoot me, but he didn't kill me. I can prove it."

"Do it fast or I'll shoot."

Without looking away from her eyes, he slowly pulled up his jumper, revealing a slim bulletproof vest with the mark of a bullet impact on it. "It's obligatory to wear this in UNIT. Fortunately, he was too busy with you to check if I was really dead. It gave me time to call reinforcements."

The girl was still in shock, processing the information. She still couldn't believe that he was alive, but after the shapeshifter experience, she doubted that about everyone.

"How do you know we were in here?" she asked suspiciously. Apparently, only she and the shapeshifter knew about that place.

"UNIT has a device to detect sonic technology. That's how they always find The Doctor. I knew that you would have the screwdriver with you."

"I don't believe you. I can't. And don't step any further! Or, I swear I'll shoot!"

He ignored her, and didn't stop walking until the barrel of the gun was almost touching him. "Please Clara, I know that you don't believe me. I know that right now you are emotional, you must have gone through a lot. But we don't have time for this."

"To hell with time! I don't care anymore," she said angrily.

The gun was inches from his head but he didn't move or break a single sweat. She was too emotional, so he guessed that something really bad had happened. "How much time?" he asked anxiously.

"Sorry?"

"How much time since his hearts stopped?"

"How do you know that?"

"Maybe I'm not THE Doctor, but I'm actually a doctor." Ignoring the gun, he quickly kneeled next to the body. "How much time?!" he asked again, a bit annoyed this time.

Clara was confused. "About two or three minutes."

A soldier put down a medical bag next to John and started to unpack it.

"Ok. Charge it, now. Two hundred joules," said John, examining the Doctor's chest, spotting the place where Clara injected the adrenaline.

"Is this heart the one which was working?" he asked, but rolled his eyes when he saw that she was still holding the gun "Ok. You can point that at my head if you feel better, but for heaven's sake answer my question!"

"Yes," she said, a bit embarrassed, while the soldier prepared a defibrillator and handed the paddles to John.

"Come on, time is running out," he said placing them on the left side of the doctor's chest.

"Clear!" John said, and immediately gave the body an electric shock with the paddles, which made it jump and fall down, limp.

The soldier next to John placed his fingers on the doctor's wrist and moved his head, negatively.

"Let's try again."

Clara saw helplessly how the body was shaken with another electrical charge, and then another, and another… Every time she saw that, her own heart sank, the contents of her stomach rising in her throat. She couldn't witness that anymore. She looked away, miserable and ashamed at the same time.

"Nothing," the soldier said with a concerned voice. "Smith, please stop. I'm sorry, but he's dead."

For a moment, John gazed at Clara. Her eyes were red and dry from too much crying, but at that moment she wasn't crying. She was just staring at him, saying nothing, as if he was supposed to do something. Hell. It couldn't get worse. Could it get worse? It was getting worse. He was still there, staring at her. And she was just staring at him. And he felt as if he must fix it somehow. Could he do that?

John looked down at his patient, determined. "Not during my shift. Five hundred joules."

"What?! No human can stand that!" the soldier protested.

"Fortunately, he's not human, is he?"

"That's insane! You'll fry his internal organs!"

"He won't need them if he's dead. Do it. NOW!"

Reluctantly, the soldier adjusted the machine and stepped back nervously.

"Doctor, don't be an asshole and came back! Clear!"

That charge was too much for the machine. Sparks came from it as a sudden electric shock threw John backwards.

"You're mad!" said the soldier, trying to extinguish the smoke from the machine.

John quickly recovered himself and checked the doctor's pulse.

"Oh my god…" he said incredulously. "He's back!" His smile faded away when he looked at the Doctor's chest. His skin was burned and completely messy there. "And he's definitely going to kill me when he wakes up."

"When he wakes up…" Clara murmured closing her eyes, releasing a breath she hadn't been aware she had been holding.

 **By the way, I want to thank you again for all your fantastic reviews but… the evil monkey is still watching you sooo… xD**


	24. 24 - Be strong

**Thank you for all your support and comments! You're all fantastic! Really, you're very nice. Wow, even the evil monkey is less angry with you! For now... ;)**

 **I'm very sorry about the delay updating this but 'a thing' happened, you know… timey wimey :S Anyway, here is the next chapter, I hope you like it!  
**

* * *

 _John quickly recovered himself and checked the doctor's pulse._

 _"Oh my god…" he said incredulously. "He's back!" His smile faded away when he looked at the Doctor's chest. His skin was burned and completely messy there. "And he's definitely going to kill me when he wakes up."_

 _"When he wakes up…" Clara murmured closing her eyes, releasing a breath she hadn't been aware she had been holding._

* * *

 **Chapter 24: Be strong**

Clara was quietly waiting. Her eyes never left what John Smith was doing.

He finished cleaning up the wounds that the Doctor still had all over body. His chest had the majority of them, but perhaps, the most difficult to comprehend were the cuts and bruises on his still purple wrists.

"I can't understand it. How could someone do this?" he said while applying a new bandage to the wrists.

"The Doctor thinks that humans are monkeys with two hands, maybe he's right," she stated sadly, but then her lips turned into a smile.

Smith looked at her, concerned. "A monkey wouldn't be so cruel. They found the Doctor's experiment file in the pharmaceutical. UNIT want me to study it, but I don't know if I should do it," he confessed.

Clara stared at the relaxed form of the Doctor and then back at Smith. "If you do it, don't tell me." Her smile came back as she stroked the Time Lord's hair.

"And why are you looking at me like that?" she chuckled at him.

"No, I…Clara you're too cheerful."

"And that's bad? I never told him that I…" She stopped herself for a moment. "These last few days, I have a lot of time to think. And I want to tell him everything I didn't dare before." She laughed excitedly. "I don't care what he'll say about it, I don't care about him telling me I'm mad, I just need…" Her eyes looked away in wonder. "I mean, the Doctor is alive and right now, that's the important thing."

"Yeah…"

"You're doing that again." Her smile faded away.

"What?"

"Looking miserably at me. Are you hiding me something or what?"

He forced a smile, looking away from her. "Well…if the Doctor were awake he would say that my name isn't John Smith for the twelfth time."

"Don't beat about the bush. Tell me what it is."

Smith rubbed his eyes tiredly. She was right. He had been chewing it over since they came back to UNIT, but somehow, he didn't know how to tell her.

"Look…" He began to motion for her to sit down, but Clara just crossed her arms, demanding a clear answer "Ok. Straight to the point: he was technically dead for almost eight minutes."

"You don't have to remind me of that," she said, thinking that those minutes were the longest ones in her whole life.

"Well…um…his brain was deprived of oxygen for that amount of time."

"Meaning?"

"Meaning that we should be cautious…"

"What are you trying to tell me?"

"That's the thing. I don't know how a Time Lord's body works, so I'm not sure about the side effects of that."

"But you are very worried, so tell me…" The girl walked a few steps until she was facing him properly. "What would be the side effects to a human being?"

His gaze felt on the Doctor and then to the floor, exhaling heavily. "Brain damage."

She put her hands to her mouth, suppressing a scream. "Oh my God…"

He quickly regretted telling her. "But I can't be sure until he wakes up. Maybe he's all right, and my worries are unfounded." He raised his eyes to look at her. "But…I want you to be prepare for the worst, otherwise you'll suffer more, and you've suffered enough already."

Clara sat down in the chair with her face buried in her hands. "It's my fault. All he needed was the Tardis. And I lost it."

He rubbed the back of his neck nervously. "I checked, the Tardis isn't in the vault. In fact, it never returned there," he said, hating himself for being the bearer of ominous tidings. "But Clara, listen to me. You did what you thought was best to help him. Stop thinking that every bad thing is your fault."

Clara rubbed her already glassy eyes and smiled at him, appreciating his words.

"The Doctor would agree with me. And I'm sure he also would say that if you were twice as smart, you'd still be stupid for thinking like that."

Just then, Kate entered the room, and Clara tried to recover herself.

"How is he?" she asked directly to John.

"Without changes. But he's stable, his wounds are healing properly, not very fast, but he's so weak that it's ok, at least he's still with us," he informed her, aware of the oncoming storm that was approaching. He had been evading his boss since their return, but eventually he would have to face the consequences. The only thing he was regretting was doing so with Clara still there.

The woman approached him. "So, the only thing we can do is keep him comfortable and wait, right?"

He nodded. "His body is still detoxing from the drugs and meds by itself. We can't give him any meds, not even pain killers."

"Good. Because you are fired," she stated.

He blinked several times, processing the last words. "You can't do that. Only the brigadier can do it," he answered defiantly.

"The position is vacant, so of course I can. In fact, it's already done, I'm just informing you."

He smirked, shaking his head madly as Kate stood with arms akimbo. "You were completely irresponsible. Not only for not following direct orders, but for revealing top secret information, stealing UNIT property and putting a civilian in danger."

Clara stood from the chair. "He didn't do anything of that. I did. He just tried to help me."

Kate glared at her. "This is between him and me. Don't meddle."

The woman paced around, clearly annoyed. "You have no idea about the consequences, John. You could have died!" she said angrily. "What if that thing would had shot you in the head?"

"Simple. We wouldn't be having this conversation. And believe me, I'm starting to regret that he didn't."

"You are stupid, so damn stupid. You have a privileged brain, the first of your promotion, the second best doctor UNIT has. How dare you throw away your life like that? For heaven's sake, you just have to follow orders. We're a military organisation. I don't know what I'm going to do with you."

He was about to interrupt her when she raised her hand to silence him before he could speak. "And that's why I'm firing you John. Because you don't regret it. You would do it again. At least, say you're sorry," she said sadly.

"I saved his life and of course I don't regret it. You would be still asking permission to the government to investigate that pharmaceutical company, assuming that the government wanted to interfere in such a powerful company. You know that I'm right."

"The graveyard is full of people who believed they were right!"

"You know what UNIT's problem is? It's not what it used to be. It has become too politicized, even bureaucratized. The Doctor and Clara would be dead by now, because you know what?"

"Don't," she warned him.

"Why not? What are you going to do? Fire me again?" he joked, annoyed. "You know it…you know that since your father retired no one had the guts to do what is needed, when it's needed, without thinking about the political consequences. I'm almost glad that the brigadier's position is now vacant. No one should ever apply for that, because no one deserves it."

Kate glared at him acidly for a moment. "Because you are who you are, I'm going to ignore the last part." The woman crossed the room, heading to the door. "You have two days to gather your things."

As Kate exited the place, Clara quickly faced Smith. "I don't know what all of this is about, but I want to say I'm so, so sorry John, because…"

"If you're going to say that it's your fault, just don't." He sat tiredly, looking vaguely at the Doctor's monitors. "The fault is mine for thinking that I would fit into a military organisation without being a narrow-minded soldier boy."

"She seemed very mad at you."

"Yeah…don't get me wrong. She's a great woman and a decent boss, but…she's a tremendous mother hen with me."

"Well, welcome to the survivor's club of the mother hen. The Doctor does the same with me, and it's very annoying. But I'm starting to understand it." She came next to the bed, taking the Time Lord's limp hand into hers. "It's perfectly reasonable that you want to protect people who are important to you. She thinks that you're brilliant, and by the way she was right: you could have died. In fact, I believed that you were dead and…" Suddenly, she stopped.

"And?"

"I think he just…squeezed my hand?" Her gaze fixed on his hand on hers.

Smith checked the monitors. "His brain activity is rising. He might be waking up. I wouldn't be surprised. Kate's screams could be heard even in the north pole."

Anxiously, Clara inspected his body, searching for any sign of movement. Nothing.

Gently, Smith grabbed her by the wrist making her look at him. "Clara, remember. Whatever happens now, be strong."

She nodded, but at that moment, she doesn't care, she just wanted to see again those big sad eyes open. Slowly, she leaned over him, looking at his face. "Doctor? Can you hear me?"

As if he could read her thoughts, his eyes cracked open and slowly focused on her face.

She smiled at him, feeling relieved to see those amazing big blue eyes. "Welcome back to the land of the living."

He didn't smile back, instead looked around, confused. "Wh…." The words didn't come out easily. His tongue was dry. Hurriedly, she held a glass of water to his lips and lifted his head to help him drink.

"Easy," she said, and felt as if she'd achieved a major accomplishment when she got him to drink several swallows.

Then she placed his head back into the pillow while her fingers stroked his shoulder, softly, waiting for him to say something.

"Where am I?" he finally asked with a sore voice, that she could hardly recognize.

"Don't worry. We're back at UNIT. You're safe."

His eyes were still confused, looking around until they fixed on her face again.

"Who are you?"

She couldn't tell if the sound heard next was the glass of water shattering on the floor, or her heart breaking into pieces.

 **I can't help it! I'm a plot twist junkie, I'm sorry xD.**


	25. 25 - Strange way of caring

**Thank you so much for the lovely reviews! Erhmmm…. No, I don't laugh 'mwuahaha' when I write the last sentence… that's the evil monkey's laugh ;P**

* * *

 _"Where am I?" he finally asked with a sore voice, that she could hardly recognize._

 _"Don't worry. We're back at UNIT. You're safe."_

 _His eyes were still confused, looking around until they fixed on her face again._

 _"Who are you?"_

 _She couldn't tell if the sound heard next was the glass of water shattering on the floor, or her heart breaking into pieces._

* * *

 **Chapter 25: Strange way of caring**

Clara couldn't believe it. It was like being in her worst nightmare. She actually had to pinch her arm several times to make sure it was real.

The young man, making an effort, took the initiative.

"Doctor, what is the last thing you remember?" Smith's professional tone came out.

"I…I was…" The Time Lord babbled as his brow furrowed more than usual. "I can't."

"Try harder," John ordered, placing a stethoscope on his chest and gesturing for him to take a deep breath. The Doctor did it while closing his eyes, trying to remember anything.

"I try, but everything is confused," he said, opening his eyes again anxiously.

John took a small flashlight and starts to check the Doctor's pupils, examining if he was fully conscious.

"Keep doing that and you'll eat it," the Doctor said, slapping Smith's hand to set the light aside.

"Well…maybe you can't remember, but you're still rude. That's something, I suppose."

"Rude or not, I want to know who you two are."

The young man exhaled tiredly, but knowing that it must be hard to not remember who you nor the people around you were, just answered him.

"I'm John Smith, and this is Clara Oswald. Does it ring a bell?"

"Yes...that John Smith is a ridiculous name."

The man rolled his eyes exasperatedly as the girl, a bit more composed from the shock, approached the bed again. "Please Doctor, if this is a joke, believe me, it's not funny. Ok?"

The Time Lord glared at her. "What kind of man am I if you think I would be so cruel as to fake my own amnesia?" Then his gaze became confused "Doctor? Am I a doctor?" He looked back at John with a disgusted face. "Like this ape? And why my chest hurt so much?"

Clara and John looked at each other, lost and apparently without the ability to speak again.

"Is anyone going to tell me what happened to me? Or are you planning to look at each other for the rest of the day? Because, believe me, it's not as entertaining as the pigeon in the tree through the window."

Clara looked at him straight in the eye. While his voice sounded angry and intimidating, his eyes told her otherwise: he was terrified, yet he was doing his best to hide it. His eyes always told her what he was thinking. Anger, sorrow, love, compassion, no matter what he was feeling, his eyes were like an open book to her. But at that time, she didn't know how to explain him without making him more scared.

"I'll explain everything the best I can, but please, you need to calm down," she whispered. He nodded and took a few deep breaths.

"You…" She truly wanted to tell him everything, but he seemed so broken at that moment that the girl thought it would be wise to postpone the truth. "You had a car accident." Her gaze felt on John, trying to get some kind of support, but instead he crossed his arms, giving her an incredulous look. She just ignored him.

The Doctor massaged his temples with his fingers. "An accident? I don't remember an accident, or a car."

John poked the girl's arm. "Clara, could we speak alone?" he said, taking her and exiting the room.

The girl exhaled annoyed as he closed the door behind them.

"What do you think you are doing?!" he whispered angrily

"Trying to make it easier for him."

"No. You're lying to him."

"And what do you think we should tell him? The truth? Telling him that some murderous people kidnapped him and used him like a guinea pig with the intention of killing him in the end, and that while trying to rescue him we just…failed and wiped his memories?"

"Yes… but perhaps more sugar coated. And besides, I think he is old enough to handle the truth."

"You don't know him. He's like a big child and he's scared. We can't push him right now."

He carefully took her forearms. "Look. Clara. If you were in his place, wouldn't you like to know what happened to you?"

She shook her head, pulling away from him. "I wish it had happened to me instead of him. Because I'm sure he would have fixed it by now. Instead, I don't know what to do."

"You have to help him. It won't be easy, but we need to make him remember. These first moments are the worst for him. We have to make him trust us. Can't you see that?" he said turning his head to the window of the room. "Oh shit…" Quickly he entered the room again.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?!" he said angrily, as the Doctor was removing every wire attached to him.

"Leaving," he stated, sitting up in the bed. "I hate hospitals. I have to get out of here."

Clara was angry too but she was hopeful. It was obvious that somehow there were still some unconscious connections going inside his head. He was tortured in that pharmaceutical hospital, no wonder he hated being in another hospital room.

The girl smiled sadly as she came close to him. "Please, Doctor."

"I want to go." He stood up stubbornly, and immediately regretted it. "Oh…" he said before falling down. Quickly, Smith grabbed him just in time as his knees buckled under him. "Let me go!" he shouted, trying to free himself from John's grip until he surrendered, exhausted. "I need to go."

"You're still weak. Your body need more time to recover," John informed him, allowing him to sit down on the edge of the bed. "And even if your body heals, you'll still feel weak."

The Doctor raised an eyebrow and Smith pointed at his chest. "You still have one working heart. I'm investigating how to restart the other one without compromising your vascular system again."

The Time Lord glanced around, confused as if he wasn't paying attention to his medical condition.

"Doctor, I know that right now you are angry and confused, but let us help you," the young man asked, a bit concerned.

Clara put her hand over the Doctor's arm. "I know that you're afraid, and it's ok. It has to be difficult to not know who you are."

His eyes turned to her "I can't stay here, and you can't force me to do it," he said removing her hand from his arm.

"I know and it's ok," she whispered, trying not to make him more scared. "You don't want to stay here. It's ok, don't worry. You can stay at my place."

"Clara. Don't even think about that. It's stupid," Smith interrupted her. "He needs to be monitored."

"Shush!" she said "You said that you can do nothing for him, just to make him comfortable. Well, let's do that. And besides, if you're not going to be his doctor anymore, I don't want another pudding brain taking care of him."

The Doctor smirked at her. "Pudding brain...I like that. But you're assuming too much. Why would I go with you?"

"Because I am your friend. And friends look out for each other."

"My friend? You? The creepy round-faced girl who can't even call me by my name?"

Clara opened her mouth to answer him, but closed it again. Smith was right. That wasn't going to be easy. At that time she wanted to slap him to make him understand, but instead, she looked down at him the same way as she usually did with her students at school.

"Enough." She took some deep breaths. "Now you listen to me, mad man. You're going to come with me whether you like it or not. I don't care. Right now, you need help. What are you going to do, huh? Run away? I have news for you. You can't run away from your friends, and even if you could, I doubt you can cross this room without assistance." He opened his mouth to protest, but she gave him a 'don't you dare' look as she approached a closet.

"Now get dressed," she said, throwing his clothes at him. "And when I return, I want to see you neat, ready to go, and if it's not too much to ask, perhaps an apology."

"I'm sorry, I was wrong. You're creepy AND bossy."

"Deal with it," she said, storming out of the room.

Both the Time Lord and Smith were still looking at the door. The younger one was the first to speak. "I'm going to give you some advice: Never cross the woman who cares about you. And believe me…she cares."

"Strange way of caring." The Doctor took his clothes with an even more confused look. "What am I supposed to be? A magician?"

 **This chapter was crazy, yes I know and I'm sorry xD**


	26. 26 - Can't see me

**Thank you very much for your reviews, it's always nice to hear from you. And I hope you all reviews on this one too ;) let me know what do you think!**

* * *

 _Both the Time Lord and Smith were still looking at the door. The younger one was the first to speak. "I'm going to give you some advice: Never cross the woman who cares about you. And believe me…she cares."_

 _"Strange way of caring." The Doctor took his clothes with an even more confused look. "What am I supposed to be? A magician?"_

* * *

 **Chapter 26: Can't see me**

They had barely spoken since they arrived at her little flat. She tried, wanting to be kind with him, but it was like trying to speak to a bug-eyed porcupine which responded by throwing sharp spikes at her.

Clara was tired. She really wanted to help him, but she had to figure out how to soften the porcupine. She wondered why he was so defensive.

Her fingers scratched her front, deep in thought, until the kettle began to whistle.

* * *

His gaze was fixed on the ceiling; it was as blank and white as his memories. He was weary of having to be bedridden, but he couldn't complain, the girl's bed was infinitely more comfortable than the military hospital one.

The Time Lord needed answers, and quickly. He tried to gather all the possible information that this house could offer, but it was difficult when the only room that he could scrutinize was the bedroom.

When she left him alone he tried to get up again, but to no avail. He decided it was best to let go, at least for then.

The Doctor closed his eyes. The room was filled with the fragrance of the girl. Maybe the little human was odd, but at least she smelled good.

Then he heard a knock on the open door, and opened his eyes to meet her in the doorway.

"May I come in?"

"No," he rolled his eyes. "But it's a ridiculous question when you are already inside the room."

"Sorry," she apologized as she came closer to the bed. "I made tea. I thought that you would like it," she said, offering him a mug. He took it reluctantly, although it was pleasant to warm his hands.

"It's your favourite. With eight sugar cubes." She smiled nervously at him.

He looked down doubtfully at the liquid inside the cup. She spotted an unsure gesture.

"Come on. You're looking at it like if it's poisoned."

"Is it?"

She smirked at him but his face was very serious.

"For heaven's sake." She took it from him and drank some sips. "See. Not poisoned. Your turn," she said giving it back to him.

He looked at it disgustedly. "Now it has your corporal fluids on it. You know, I'll pass."

If she didn't know him so well, would have said he was the most annoying person in the solar system. But knowing what he was trying, she just simply breathed deeply. "It'll be good for you. I just want you to get better, you know."

"Of course." There was a hint of irony in his voice. "The question is, what for? I must recognise that you're a good actress, round-face, but you and I know that being such a good girl is a facade, so there is no point in faking it."

Mentally, Clara counted to three before answering him. "Why wouldn't I want your well-being?"

"Because you're alone with a stranger who is clearly superior to you. Or maybe not," he said, looking suspiciously towards the door.

"A stranger? And don't be paranoid, there is no one there," she said, irritated. It was perfectly clear that he was trying, by all means, to build a defensive wall between them. "Doctor. If you're going to stay with me there will be rules: No rudeness, and please, no untruthfulness."

"Trust is something that must be earned." His eyebrows warned her that he wasn't in the mood for an argument.

She put her arms akimbo. "And what I did for you to not trust me? I'm trying to be nice; I'm trying to make it easy for you." She sighed. "If you don't trust me, why did you agree to come with me?"

He glared at her but didn't say anything. He didn't want to reveal that he thought it would be easier to escape from a tiny human girl than from an army building guarded by the military.

"It's ok that you're angry, but you don't have the right to judge me when you don't even remember me."

"Oh…that's where you are wrong, round-face." With effort, he pushed himself up into a sitting position to look straight at her. "I can tell a lot of things about you."

"Oh?" She was surprised. Was he remembering?

"I can tell that you try to hide your insecurities behind a screen of perfection even though you are a mess on the inside. You have a very self-centred and egocentric personality…really? Three mirrors? And judging for your choices of words and demeanour, I would say that you're a very manipulative person who must be really alone."

The shock was evident in her face. She wasn't angry or sad, not even frustrated by his words. What she felt was pure terror.

"You're an arsehole," she whispered before storming out of the room.

He let himself fall down on the pillow, with a satisfied smile on his lips. At last he was going to be alone and quiet enough to try to think of a good plan. But after some minutes, he heard the only sound he wouldn't tolerate under any circumstances.

* * *

By the time the girl entered the bathroom, her eyes were burning and tears flowed from both of them. She didn't look up to the mirror in front of her. She didn't want to see anyone, not even herself. Instead, her body slid down the tiled wall until she was sitting on the cold floor.

She was terrified. Not of him, of course. What frightened her was the thought that their friendship was over. The pain she felt every time he looked at her and didn't see her.

"Can't see me." She remembered those exacts words, coming out of his lips.

The girl began to sob aloud as she pulled her phone from her pocket and began to text John. The scientist had told her to call him, whatever happened.

She didn't want to ask for help but wasn't sure if she could handle it. "He's not the Doctor anymore. Help" she wrote, but when her thumb was about to press the send button, she heard a heavy sound, like a potato sack falling over. She wasn't sure what that was; after all, her neighbours had always been very noisy.

"Why?" she thought. "Why I have to lose everything? Why is he doing this? Why he can't see me…" And then she realized that he was right, she was being egocentric, not thinking about how he actually feels. "You're right. Even without your memories, you're always right," she said, burying her face into her hands.

"I know."

Surprised, she looked up to see him standing by the door.

"How…?"

"Very badly."

"Please, leave me alone."

"I don't think I'm capable of doing that," he said, falling to his knees, very exhausted.

She tried to stop the sobs, didn't want to show him that he had won, to show him her weaknesses, because they would be the target of all of his attacks and wasn't sure if she could stand them.

The girl waited for another blow. But it never came.

"I didn't mean it," he murmured softly.

She hid her surprise. "Yes, you did. And it's ok because it's true." Her fingers tried to wipe away the tears. "Anyway, why are you here? Did you find a better insult than round-face and couldn't wait to spit it on my face?"

He didn't say anything but his gaze remained on her, lost for words. Realization hit her when she dared to look up at his big sad eyes.

"Oh…I know. You hate the sound of crying." She smiled still trying to dry her tears, but they didn't stop.

"It's very hard for me. But I can try," he broke the silence.

"Try what?"

"To trust you."

She looked down at her phone, and then at him "Why, why is it so hard for you?" she asked curiously, as she knew he didn't do owt for nowt.

He smiled back, not answering her.

"You won't trust me, not yet. But you say that because you'll need help to come back to bed, don't you?"

"Perhaps. But don't trusting you isn't an excuse to be cruel to you. I have been testing you since we got here; you have had the opportunity to slap me five times, and you didn't. That means that you could be one of two things. But until I figure out which one, I won't trust anyone."

"And what if I finally slap you now?"

"Hmm…that would reset the experiment, but you wouldn't like that."

"Nor would your face."

"Do you really want to slap me?"

She glared at him, but soon her eyes warmed up. "No."

"Interesting. I believed that was what the monkeys with two hands usually did," he whispered.

She laugh, and her laughter grow louder when he looked at her, puzzled.

Finally, the girl observed the phone screen which it still read 'he's not the Doctor anymore. Help.' Her finger deleted the message, slowly standing up. "Let's get you back to bed."

Clara offered her hand to him timidly, not knowing what to expect, but he finally took it. "Yes. I have a better name for you," he said, leaning on her as he stood up.

"I already have one: Clara."

"Control freak. Otherwise, why would you ordered clothes from your closet by colours?"

"Keep doing that and you'll find your arse against the floor."

"Ok. Sorry, but what about the socks by size? Do your feet change their size, and how do you do that?"

She bit her tongue while they walked to her room again, letting him lie on the bed. "Doctor. Are you truly testing me? What are the two things do you think I could be?"

She was sure that a hint of fear reflected on his eyes before he blinked and looked back to her. "Oh… you could be just stupid, or retarded." He faked a smile.

"Riiiight. What do you think about a soup?"

"Ok. But make sure to not mix it with your corporal fluids."

* * *

The next day was a very exhausting one for Clara. The first thing to do was to change his bandages, which was like fighting with a three-year-old child.

"Are you actually enjoying this?!" he said, protesting every time she applied more ointment on the burnt side of his chest.

"I'm doing what John told me to do. Hang on, I'm almost finished."

"You and your beloved John could throw yourselves into a supernova." Then she reached the worst part of his burned skin, just below on his heart. "Oh…be careful, be careful."

She tried to be gentle, but he clenched his teeth anyway. "Hang on, Doctor, it hurts me too."

"Shut up. It doesn't!"

She put new gauze on his skin and then gave him a little pat on the shoulder. "Better?"

He glared at her. "I won't tell you what I'm thinking right now."

The rest of the day passed without many changes. He was still defensive towards her, and she tried to ignore his poisoned darts. Tiredly, she threw herself to the sofa on her living room.

"His wounds are better. But his mood is hell," she texted to John.

"His mood was always hell, so it's ok." She read the answer on the screen and a shadow of a smile appeared on her lips.

"Not like this."

"You mean: Not to you."

Clara sighed while writing her next message. "I miss him. The real him."

"Be patient. He's still there, somewhere."

She was about to answer him when the Doctor's voice startled her. It sounded distant. Was he calling her? Immediately she stood up and went to the corridor, to find out that the Doctor was whispering to someone.

"How?" she thought, trying to listen to his voice.

"No, I need to find out. I need to know the limits. […] Hmm, I didn't expect that, good idea."

It was only his voice, no one else was there. A shiver ran down her spine. "Has he lost his mind?"

 **(Note: Yes, The Doctor is very rude, but I have an explanation for that xD)**


	27. 27 Hazeltnuts

**It's been a long time since the last update; I'm so so sooo sorry but I've had a crazy busy month with Christmas and a lot of exams…**

 **I want to thank you for your patience, your reviews and your messages. You're fantastic!**

 **By the way, yes, I also received all of your angry monkeys at my door. I gave them a typewriter and the result is this chapter, so if you don't like it, you know who to blame ^^**

* * *

 _She was about to answer him when the Doctor's voice startled her. It sounded distant. Was he calling her? Immediately she stood up and went to the corridor, to find out that the Doctor was whispering to someone._

 _"How?" she thought, trying to listen to his voice._

 _"No, I need to find out. I need to know the limits. […] Hmm, I didn't expect that, good idea."_

 _It was only his voice, no one else was there. A shiver ran down her spine. "Has he lost his mind?"_

* * *

 **Chapter 27: Hazelnuts**

 **.**

Clara couldn't stand it anymore. She entered the bedroom to find the Doctor startled by her.

"What? Do you actually know what a door is?" he said, annoyed.

"I heard you talking and since there is no one here apart from us, I thought you were calling me," she lied crossing her arms. "There is no one in here, right?"

The Doctor rolled his eyes and slowly opened his hands, revealing a little squirrel.

Clara blinked several times. "What is that?! And how…?"

"She was freezing outside the window, so I let her in." With care, the Time Lord stroked the head of the animal. "Don't worry. She is very rude but doesn't have anything against you… yet."

"Oh great, now I also have a rude ball of fur."

The Doctor glared at her, a bit surprised. "I was talking to Hazelly, not to you."

"No, no, no way…don't name it, because you're not keeping it," she said as he looked down at the squirrel and nodded, laughing a bit. "What's so funny?"

"Hazelly thinks you're not very hospitable and I agree."

She approached him, pointing her finger at him. "What?! I'm trying to do my best! You're the one not co-operating."

"Co-operating. Interesting choice of word."

"Are you still paranoid about me? This is getting ridiculous." Her voice sounded annoyed, but the Doctor just smirked.

"Maybe. I still don't know what game you are playing," he stated, leaving the squirrel on the nightstand.

She sat down on the edge of the bed. "You don't trust me yet, do you? Please, just tell me what I need to do for you."

Slowly, he made an effort to sit up, getting close to her. "Do you trust me?" he asked, putting his hands on her shoulders.

Clara thought it was a very odd moment as he didn't like bodily contact at all, but since nothing had been normal lately she just got carried away. "Always," she said, smiling.

"Well. You shouldn't."

"Doctor, what're you doing?" she asked, scared. She felt his fingers against her temples, not knowing how that was happening.

She blinked, and when her eyes opened again, she was in a white room. There was nothing there, just white walls. She turned around to find the Doctor standing in front of her.

"What have you done to me?! Where are we?" she demanded irritably.

"If you claim to know me, you know what this is."

Clara thought it was a kind of test, but somehow, it make her feel unsecure. "Of course I know. This is my mind."

He nodded.

"You're getting into a dangerous area," she pointed at him angrily.

"Oh, am I?" His voice had a hint of irony. "I'll stop beating around the bush. This is the only chance I have to unmask you without getting hurt."

Clara was getting nervous. "What the hell are you talking about?"

"Oh, stop pretending! I wasn't born yesterday. I know that you need something from me, before killing me. Well, bad news for you, I appreciate my life very much."

The girl couldn't believe what she was hearing. In fact, it seemed like he had lost it, but he was talking very seriously.

"I don't know what you are talking about. Why I would want that?!" she said, and regretted it almost instantly, because it was what people use to say when they want to hide something.

"Stop lying!" he shouted. Clara gulped. If eyebrows could kill, she would be dead.

"You want to kill me, but you can't do it until you get what you need from me. I know that I've been a prisoner, and as you like to say, wasn't very co-operative. So, taking advantage of my lack of memories, you decided that if you were the good police you'd eventually get the information. I'm not a fool. Did you really believe it would work?!"

The girl's eyes were blurry as he spoke. "Doctor, you're wrong."

He laughed madly. "Oh, am I? Then, waking up in an army hospital, without memories and with abrasions, multiple biopsies marks, bruises and cuts on my wrists, is what normally happens when you have a mundane car accident, isn't it?"

Clara was shocked and horrified. Because of her little lie, the Doctor had filled the gaps in the worst possible way. "This is not what it looks like. I admit I lied, but I swear I did it for your sake. I want to protect you."

"Of course… What else would you say? Just tell me what you want, because I'm losing my patience and you don't want to see an angry Time Lord, not when we're in your mind."

Anyone else in her place would had run away from an angry man with the power to control her mind, but she was Clara Oswald and the man was the Doctor. Her feet stepped closer.

"I don't care," she said with a shrug.

His face turned into a puzzled expression. "I know you're just a human, but do you understand what I just said?"

"Yes, you can do your Time Lordy things, you can erase my memories, or you can blow up my brain, I don't care anymore!" she cried. "Because the only person that was important to me is gone. And well… I know that you're just a Time Lord, so I will clarify it for making it understandable for your kind: it's you who I lost."

The girl exhaled, tired. "Do you want the truth? It's ok. I'll tell you the truth."

And she did. Clara told him about the last weeks, about the crashed ship, the mission, about John, the Brigadier and Kate. And of course, about the pharmaceutical experiments with him.

Clara didn't know why, but she felt as if the room was getting darker as she talked. Nevertheless, she continued, telling him about how she and John rescued him. By the time she finished her story she felt completely exhausted.

"And that it's why your chest is burned," she finished. "The rest is what you already knew."

He didn't say a word, not a single one since she started to talk. Clara was worried because the Doctor wasn't capable of silence, but he was just staring at her.

In the silence, she could hear a distant sound and she got the creeps: It was the sound of a heartbeat. For the first time in her life she was terrified. Was that a bad Time Lordy thing? Was he capable of hurting her? He couldn't do that, could he?

"Please tell me you believe me," she begged nervously, not knowing what he would do. "Please, you have to!"

She cracked her eyes open. She was in her bedroom again. Surprisingly, the heartbeat was still ringing in her ear. After some seconds she realized that she was lying over his chest, realising that they must have fallen when the connection broke.

Clara sat up and looked down at the Doctor, who was still unconscious. It was obvious that doing that stupidity had drained all of his strength. No wonder why he didn't talk, he must have been saving energy.

The girl felt bad. Because of her little lie, he had been scared, preparing a way to defend himself, to find the truth.

She took the blanket and adjusted it over his body. "I don't blame you," she whispered before leaving the room.

Then she walked like a zombie until she reached the sofa in the living room. Her body collapsed heavily over it. John was right: this wasn't going to be easy. Tiredly she put the pillow over her head, not wanting to know anything about the world until the next morning.

* * *

Light dazzled her too early. Clara awoke unwillingly and, as every morning, the first thing she did was send a message to John, letting him know if everything was ok. That day she didn't know what to tell him. Should she tell him the truth? That the Doctor had threatened her? No, she couldn't do that. She can't let UNIT take him away, because that would be fuel to his paranoia. And she didn't want to hurt him more that she already had.

Clara took a deep breath before texting.

"Morning!"

"Hey! How is super-grumpy today?"

"He's fine."

"I was worried because of your last message."

"I was wrong, everything is fine."

"Clara are you ok?"

"Yes, yes. No need to worry."

"Ok but promise me you'll call me if you need help."

"I will mum."

She left the phone on the TV table and dragged her feet into the kitchen, looking for a glass of juice. She was about to put it on the table but stopped, her jaw opening wide.

"What is this?!" she though at the sight of a lot of hazelnuts all over the table. The little squirrel was in the middle of the mess, gobbling nuts down. Clara was about to commit a crime when she realized that the hazelnuts were forming letters.

"I'm Sor," she read and smiled, feeling relieved. Did that mean that the Doctor believed her?

When she reached the bedroom he was already awake. Aware of her presence, he didn't look up so Clara spoke first.

"So, you're a Sor."

The Doctor looked puzzled, so she explained it. "That's what the message says. You know… never ask a squirrel to write something with its food."

"What?! Did you eat the letters?!" he snarled at the little mammal, which was still eating next to him. "No, breakfast time is not an excuse!"

He crossed his arms like a sulky child and Clara bit her tongue, trying not to laugh.

"At least you aren't a cat, that's something."

The Doctor rolled his eyes. "Come on, you already know what the message said."

"Yes. But I want to hear it from you."

"That would be repetitive and unnecessary," he scowled.

"I don't think so. I'm a stupid human, remember?"

The Doctor glared at her, about to say something, but his mouth babbled unintelligibly.

"Sorry, I didn't hear that. Could you say it again?" She was enjoying seeing him so troubled because of one simple word.

The Time Lord breathed deeply. "This is silly." He was clearly determined to remain silent, but Clara was too. After a very long minute of silence he finally said it, properly this time. "Ok. I was rude, egoist, and perhaps a bit paranoid." Clara raised her eyebrow. "I'm sorry, round face."

"Wow, you really take your time to say it. Why did you think it would be a good idea to send a squirrel to write it instead of just telling me in person? After all, we're in the same flat."

The Doctor looked down at his hands. "Because I thought that you would hate me and wouldn't dare enter this room again," he confessed.

Her mouth drew a warm smile as she sat down on the edge of the bed. "Sometimes when I'm very angry with you, I would like to smack you with a pan and then throw you to the time vortex itself." She sighed. "But I can't hate you. I tried it a very long time ago. I just can't." Now it was her time to look down at her own hands.

"I know," he said, but regretted it when she looked up in shock. "Clara…" She felt a shiver when he said her name. After all he hadn't said it since all of that happened. "You were too kind, too perfect, too careful. Nobody's like that, unless… well, I thought that you were pretending. So the last couple of days I tried to annoy you, to push you to the limit. I thought that I would unmask you doing so."

"And by the way, you did a great job."

"Thanks."

"It wasn't a compliment," she stated. "So, you thought that I was a murderous psychopath or something like that, and you tried to demonstrate it. And you never thought about a second option, like as I just care about you?!"

"Yes of course. But, nobody cares that much, unless… never mind."

She felt a twinge in her chest that made her forget how to breathe again. Did she hear him right? The eyes of the girl widened in shock when her brain assimilated the meaning of his words.

Without even remembering her, he only needed a couple of hours to realize how much she cares and loves him. That meant that he had always known it, and chosen to ignore it.

The uncomfortable realization was too much for her to handle. All she thought about was to get out of that room, but her body didn't want to help her. Just then, she heard a distant voice calling her.

The girl blinked and saw the Doctor grabbing her by her shoulders.

"Clara, breathe!" he exclaimed worriedly. "What were you thinking?!"

"I…" She couldn't say more as her voice cracked.

He panicked. "Oh no, please don't do that again. Just don't!"

Clara sobbed absently and before realizing it, the Doctor was brushing her hair all over again.

"Doctor, are you petting me?" Her voice was incredulous.

"Hazelly likes it, I thought you would like it too."

"I'm not a damn squirrel!"

"Ok, ok, don't worry. I have a plan B."

She was about to protest when, slowly, he put his arms around her back and pulled her close to his chest. The girl was so surprised that she didn't react very fast, but finally buried her face into his shoulder as his hands caressed her back.

"I didn't expect this."

"Don't you like it?" he said, alarmed.

"No, no. It's fine. I love hugs."

"This is not a hug," his voice grunted softly.

"What is it then?"

"This is me, putting my arms around you."

She smiled, knowing he couldn't see her face. "It's a non-hug. I like it anyway."

"Good, because between you and me: I don't have a plan C."

"It could have been you giving me hazelnuts."

"What's wrong with them?"

"Shut up."

They remained hugging in silence for a bit longer. She almost felt bad for it. When the Doctor regained his memories he would be mad at her for letting him do 'human things'. Her eyes closed thinking about that: his best friend, the most important person in her life and he didn't know that, he didn't even remember her; but there he was, non-hugging her because he didn't stand her crying.

The girl noticed how the Doctor's fingers began to tighten but he didn't move away. Just to make sure, she pressed her own into his back, pulling him even closer as a muffled wince escaped his lips.

"You are an idiot," she whispered as she slowly pulled away. "You knew it was going to hurt you and did it anyway."

Carefully, he stroked his chest trying to calm the burned skin as his mouth winced in pain. "It's ok," his voice finally said, "if I made you smile."

"You couldn't see my face," she said, surprised.

Then it was his turn to smile.

 **Very crazy chapter I know, but… for every review you write, you'll donor a hazelnut to the doctor's squirrel. Because, you don't want it to starve, do you? xD**


	28. 28 - The Bookself

**Woah! I'm so sorry for not updating in so long. I feel like I've failed you guys in a way :( Because even a monkey with two hands can write faster. I hope you didn't forgot about this crazy story ;)**

 **Also, I want to thank Calgarry, my fantastic beta reading! Thank you very very much! :)  
**

* * *

 **Chapter 28: The bookshelf**

"You have to make an effort!" said an annoyed Clara.

"What for? There is a saying that humans stumble twice on the same stone. Fortunately, I'm not human," the Doctor said, leaning heavily on the girl. "And why can't I stay on bed? It was humiliating enough the last time."

"Because, you might be a Time Lord, but this room is beginning to smell like a stable."

"So now you also have issues with horses?! Clara you have a serious racism problem!"

The girl ignored him, while making an effort to not let him fall. "AND because for the last few days you've based your diet on hazelnuts, and that can't be good for heaven's sake!"

"It's a good source of vitamins!"

"Yeah well, to hell with vitamins, you are going to eat a decent meal while I clean the bedroom."

"You're a killjoy. Hazelly and I were playing poker, and now probably she is looking at my cards."

"How many times must I repeat that you can't keep that annoying squirrel in MY flat?"

"Oh, so not only a racist, but an egomaniac too." Suddenly, he put his hand into his chest with a hurt expression. "Clara, please, I can't do it."

"You can! Just another step!" At first she thought he was faking it, but seeing his rapid breathing she began to take it more seriously. "OK, we're almost there."

When they reached the kitchen, he collapsed into a chair with his hand still on his chest. The girl almost felt bad for him. Every day she asked John if he had found something to help him, but the answer was always the same: 'I'm still working on it'. At first it was okay, but as days passed by, she noticed that the Doctor's pain was getting worse. However, he'd never told her or complained about that. It was as if he somehow accepted it.

"How bad?" she asked, concerned.

"It's OK," he played it down. "I don't know how you can survive with only one heart. This is really disgusting. My only working one has to beat twice. Right now, it's like I just ran a whole marathon!"

Even if he couldn't remember, she always knew how he felt, and this time wasn't an exception.

She put her hand on his, trying to comfort him. "We'll find a way, I promise. And Doctor Smith is still studying how to help us. He's very clever."

"A clever monkey is still a monkey, and with that ridiculous name it's even worse."

Clara smiled; at least his way of thinking was intact.

"Speaking of, he thinks that you should eat something healthy for your recovery." Clara took a dish and put it on the table. "So, I did this for you."

The Doctor gave her an incredulous look. "And… what exactly is this?"

"Your meal of course. It's a salad, and yes, it's edible."

"But it's green. Only cows eat green food! You know, four legs, two horns and a very sinister glare."

"Oh come on, this is good for you. I added some proteins to it too. Wait a minute, how could a cow be sinister?"

"Have you ever been with one? They only keep staring suspiciously at you while they chew the cud. They're hiding some evil plot… I'm sure of it!"

"Riiiight. But to spoil the cows' imminent attack, you have to recover. So you're going to eat this salad while I clean the room, ok?"

The Time Lord crossed his arms. "I'm waiting for the food tester."

Clara glared at him, a bit annoyed. "You can't be serious." Since he didn't change his gesture, she took a fork.

Suddenly, the Doctor's eyes grew wide. "No! You could hurt her!"

"The lettuce? I'm sorry, but it's long dead by now."

To her surprise, a leaf began to move on the plate. "No way, this can't be serious!" After a long pause, it fell down revealing a squirrel's head behind, eating a slice of carrot.

He smiled naughtily. "How is it, Hazelly? Hmm, I see. Well, I'll tell her." He looked up at Clara. "My food tester says it's okay, although it's lacking a little vinegar."

She rolled her eyes. "You know, this is insane. I give up. I'm going to clean the room. And when I return I want to see this plate empty, and," she pointed at the small animal, "not by the ball of fur."

"Really? That's it?"

Clara rolled her eyes. "What does the king demand now?"

"I can't eat without a good story."

"Yes, you can. Just open your mouth and put food inside. Even a time monkey like you can do that!" said a desperate Clara. "Please, I'm doing everything I can to help you, just… don't be a child."

His eyebrows, somehow, looked hurt. She was going to apologise when suddenly, he said something she wasn't prepared for.

He looked down at his food while he dug into his salad with the fork. "But I am a child, I'm only eighty."

The girl's eyes widened, surprised. "What?" Her brain was still processing that. It was worse than she'd thought. The Doctor hadn't lost some of his memories, he'd lost almost two thousand years of them!

"Is something wrong?" he said, concerned as she seemed a bit stressed.

"Yeah, sure. It's just, never mind. Hey, what about a book? Do you think you can eat reading a book?"

The Doctor's face lit up upon hearing the word 'book'.

* * *

When she entered the living room, the sound of the fork could be heard in the background. At least he was eating some decent food, she thought.

Suddenly her body was too heavy and she had to lean on the wall. Her brain couldn't stop thinking about what he said. She wasn't sure about anything anymore. What if it was true? What if the Doctor only remembered his first eighty years? Did that mean she was with the very first raw version of him? The very thought made her dizzy.

"It's okay," she quickly whispered. "This is only a temporary amnesia. He'll recover, he must." Quickly the girl felt nervous. After all, she was a control freak, and right then, everything wasn't right. "What if he doesn't recover?"

Her head bobbed tiredly. "Everything will be fine. We'll find a way. We always do," she repeated, trying to believe it.

Clara took a deep breath. It wasn't good for her to panic. "Book," she said, trying to think about something else. "Ok. I know exactly the one you'll like." A smile appeared on her face when she spotted an old worn book in her small bookshelf: 'Where's Wally'. "Nothing bad could happen reading that."

She walked to it when suddenly, something hit her. She fell flat from the shock. "Ouch!" she exclaimed, massaging her sore nose. "What?" she said to the empty room while she stood up. "Have I stumbled on the carpet?" she thought.

She was trying to reach the bookshelf once more when she hit herself again, this time harder. "What?!" She looked back angrily, but the room was empty.

This time, she extended her arm, groping the space that was needed to reach the shelf. Suddenly her face turned white when her fingers touched something that shouldn't be there.

"Oh my God," she whispered, her whole hand slipping on something; an object that was in her living room, and that apparently was invisible. How long had that thing been there? More important, what was that thing?

"It's pretty big," she told herself, putting her hands on it. "And it's not cold. Hmm, it seems to be made of wood. Like a… big square wooden thing." She stopped talking, stepping back. "Oh my God…"

She didn't know how to react, she felt happy, sad and very, very angry at the same time. "You…" she growled. "You!" she repeated madly.

Her anger turned into a nervous laughter "So, your emergency protocol is to travel back to the last safe location, and guess what, it was my own damn flat!"

Suddenly, her laughter turned into a mean stare again. "You were here all the time and you didn't even tell us?! What kind of stupid fat grumpy old cow are you?!"

The girl rubbed her forehead, overwhelmed by emotions. "Okay, okay… I know, you were just doing your silly emergency protocol by the silliest pilot you have." She exhaled nervously, not knowing what to do with her arms, which didn't stop folding and unfolding.

"You have no idea how much," and then she smiled genuinely, "I'm glad to see you again."

Her smile was even brighter as she approached the hypothetical door of the Tardis. But it didn't open, it didn't even make any sound, nothing.

"What?" she tried again. Nothing happened, and her feet stepped back furiously/ "Oh no. You're not doing this. You have no idea what I'm going through, and you do not have any right to do this, you hear me?"

The Tardis' door didn't move an inch. "Oh, so you don't have anything to say? You dumbass! Yes, you! What was that? You have a brain freeze? But doesn't that actually require a brain first?" And then she began to yell. "Are you always an idiot or just when I'm around? For heaven's sake, if I wanted to kill myself, I could just climb up to your ego and jump down to your IQ level!"

Her arm rose in a gesture of surrender. "This is ridiculous!" she yelled at the air.

Tired, the girl turned away to see the Doctor standing by the door, with the little squirrel on his shoulder. Both of them had shocked expressions on their faces. The squirrel dropped a hazelnut from its little frozen hands as it blinked very slowly. The dried fruit falling to the ground was the only sound in the room.

"Shut up!" she said quickly. But, as expected, he just couldn't.

"Seriously, were you shouting to yourself?"

 **Comments are appreciated! And thank you for keep reading! ;)**


	29. 29 - Run away

**Hi all! I'm back, not as soon as I expected but hey, I have to deal with an angry vampire monkey and I don't have enough bananas :P Thanks for your reviews!**

 **Doctor712: Hazelly loves you too xD**

 **The eternal diva: Hahaha, yeah the Tardis is back -ish :D**

 **Bloodsired: She is his carer. It's her job! lol**

 **Dragons-Twilight1992: Of course!**

 **Various guests reviews: Thank you! I'm glad you like it! By the way, I never though you would be afraid to read more… omg, what I have done? xD**

 **As always, I want to thank Calgarry (my beta reader) for been so patience with me! ;)**

* * *

 _Tired, the girl turned away to see the Doctor standing by the door, with the little squirrel on his shoulder. Both of them had shocked expressions on their faces. The squirrel dropped a hazelnut from its little frozen hands as it blinked very slowly. The dried fruit falling to the ground was the only sound in the room._

 _"Shut up!" she said quickly. But, as expected, he just couldn't._

 _"Seriously, were you shouting to yourself?"_

* * *

 **Chapter 29: Run away**

The squirrel made a sound, and the Doctor nodded his head. "Yes, I think she needs some rest too."

Clara raised her arms, defeated. "No, no! A squirrel isn't going to tell me I'm the mad person in this room, because I'm not!"

Slowly, and trying to keep his balance, the Doctor approached her, worried at her nervousness.

"I'm not mad," she repeated, as he grabbed her shoulders.

"I didn't say that, but I think you should rest."

"No, no, you don't understand…" The girl stopped abruptly. "It's difficult to explain. Look, I know it doesn't make any sense, but I need you to do something for me."

He narrowed his eyes. "I'm not eating more green food."

"It's not that."

"I'm not cooking green food for you."

"Doctor just shut up!" She exhaled heavily before continuing, "Please, don't ask why, but could you snap your fingers?"

"I would ask why, but…do you put that puppy face every time you want something? It's incredible how your eyes are bigger than your whole extremely round face, you know."

She made an effort to not answer that. "Please?"

The Doctor smiled. "Can I have ice cream for dessert?" Her eyes threw invisible daggers at him. "Okay, okay. It was only a joke."

Reluctantly, he snapped his fingers as she looked back expectantly.

"Are you happy?"

And then it happened. As the girl expected, the door of the Tardis opened for the Doctor. At that point, she wouldn't deny being a little jealous about that.

"Come on!" Clara said, grabbing his hand and smiling at his shocked face. "Oh, and stop doing that owlish think with your eyes, because just for your information, they're bigger than mine."

Of course, he had a shocked face. "What. What is that?"

She was enjoying that moment, a very rare one, when the Doctor was shocked and speechless. At the same time, she was nervous. Would he recognise the Tardis? Would he remember it? Her gaze looked at him, not sure about what to expect.

"I'll show you," she said confidently.

He wrapped his arm over her shoulder for support and allowed her to lead him to the mysterious door, and to a more mysterious thing: he wanted to know why the girl couldn't stop smiling.

They crossed the invisible door and stepped inside. It was dark, very dark. In fact, the only light was coming from the entry itself.

"Come on, be a good ship," the girl muttered.

After endless seconds, and a dozen mental insults by Clara, the round things of the Tardis began to glow, one by one, illuminating the control room.

He looked around, completely astonished "Woah. This is…"

Clara's smile grew bigger "Yes. Say it. This is a…?"

"This is bigger on the inside!"

Quickly her smile faded away. "What?! No, no, no, not that."

"This is much, much bigger on the inside. Oh my goodness. Do you see that?"

"That's not the important thing!" she protested as he advanced to the console. "Please, Doctor, tell me you know what is this."

"Of course I know what is this!" For a moment, he forgot about his weakness and began to walk around the console. "This is fabulous. No. This is fantastic." He pointed a finger at her. "No. This is fabultastic!"

He was talking so fast that Clara tried to stop him. "Doctor, calm down!" The Time Lord was about to fall down when she grabbed him just in time. "Got you. Don't do this idiotic thing again. No. Shush. Don't talk just breathe, ok? Fabultastic? Seriously?"

He leaned on her but his eyes couldn't stop looking at the console. After a long moment, a whisper broke the silence. "It's a Tardis," he said.

Clara let out a breath, relieved. "Yes it is. And you know this because…?" Of course she didn't want to tell him, she needed him to remember by himself.

"Because I have seen a lot of them in my Academy books. Oh look at it. Isn't it the most beautiful thing you have ever seen?" Slowly, his fingers tried to reach the nearest lever, but stopped when he was about to touch it.

"No, no, no." He stepped back, pulling away from Clara. "This isn't right."

At first she was worried, but seeing him disoriented and so distressed was truly frightening her. Hell, he couldn't even take a full breath!

"It's okay. Calm down." Her voice was low, trying to sound relaxed. She didn't want to shock a person who already had serious heart problems.

The Doctor felt a twinge in his chest, and had to hold on to the railing. The girl started to run to his side when the cloister bell of the Tardis began to sound, making her look up, scared. "Yeah well, I'm worried too!" When her gaze returned to where the Doctor was supposed to be, the only thing she saw was the door closing again.

"What?! How did you manage to run away so fast?" Then she rolled her eyes. "Of course, you're the Doctor, even if you can't remember it." She tried to open the door to follow him but, as expected, it didn't open.

Clara turned around with the angriest face she was capable of. "Don't you dare! He needs me! For heaven's sake, he could be having a heart attack right now!"

The Tardis made a protesting sound.

"Yes, I hate you too but please, it doesn't matter now! I have to help him!"

The lights began to turn off. Only one remained on.

Clara looked at the illuminated spot. It was a door. She didn't recognise it. "What is this? I have never seen this door before. And I'm very sure this was never here, I would remember it."

A new noise answered her. "Oh, really? Now you're doing ironic sounds. Why doesn't that surprise me?" The Tardis illuminated the plate over it and Clara tried to read it. The problem was she could only see circles. "Gallifreyan is so frustrating."

* * *

When she was able to leave the Tardis, she quickly found the Doctor in the bedroom, sitting on the edge of the bed and apparently lost in thought.

Clara sat down next to him, relieved to see him calmer. After some moments of silence, she cleared her throat. "I'm sure the wall is very interesting, but it'll be more interesting if we talk about what happened."

"No." he stated.

"Yes. We're having this conversation, whether you like it or not."

"No," he insisted. "A conversation is a way of communication between two persons. If one of them isn't participating then it's a monologue, or worse: a lecture."

"I do have the right to lecture you! You scared me to death! Look at you, did you just have an anxiety attack?"

"Not your problem."

"Of course it is! Just tell me why you freaked out like that!"

The Doctor looked down at his hands, and Clara immediately regretted shouting at him. It wasn't fair and she knew it. She was about to apologise when he turned to her.

"Have you ever run away from something?" he asked her. "Because deep down you knew if you stayed you'd end up being talked into doing something you'd regret?"

Clara was aware that she had just opened the Pandora's box, but wasn't sure if she wanted to look inside.

She bit her lip, thinking very carefully what to answer. Clearly he wasn't in his best mind, and she didn't want to upset him more, so she chose to just remain silent.

"I can't keep going like this. I tried to understand why, I tried to be who they want me to be, and I have done things that I shouldn't. Perhaps they're right about me."

Clara looked at him closely, not sure if that conversation was a good idea. After all, it was him starting to open up a layer of his shell. His first one, but surely the worst, the one that make him run away.

"Who?" she asked.

"The Time Lords. Sometimes, I wonder if they're right."

"Doctor, stop talking like that. It's like you think you're a bad man or something."

His face was serious when she said that.

"Wait a moment. Do you really think you're a bad man?" Her eyebrow rose incredulously.

"I…" He trailed off. "I'm not prepared, I just...just want to run away. Does that make me a coward?"

Clara smiled sympathetically. "Of course not. When you leave unexpectedly, no matter how good the reason, most people will consider you a coward. What those people don't realise is that making a decision to leave takes a lot of strength. It's often easier, even safer, to take the path of least resistance."

His features softened a bit. "Now I know why he likes you to stick around."

"Don't speak about yourself in third person. It's annoying."

"I have to; I don't remember what I was like."

"For me, you're the same, just in your teenage years."

He made a rude gesture before speaking again with a soft voice. "Thanks for trying to cheer me up, but I will never make it."

"Why not? You could take a Tardis and run away."

"I tried it, for the sake of Rassilon, I tried! I enrolled to be a pilot. I failed all the exams, but it didn't matter, because when the council found out, I got kicked out of the academy and they forbade me to be in a Tardis…ever."

The girl was starting to hate those people. "Why they would do that? Why they would be so paranoid about you?" she asked, but something in the Doctor's eyes told her not to push for more. "I'm sorry."

He laid on the bed with a gesture that the conversation was over, waiting for Clara to just leave him alone. That didn't happen.

"Why don't you steal a Tardis and run away?" she asked, trying to sound casual.

He chuckles at that. "Don't be ridiculous. Anybody knows that no one can steal one."

"Why? Because they told you that?"

"You're not going to drop the subject, are you?" He exhaled tiredly. "Because they're not just a ship. They're more than that." His eyes closed as he talked. "They are the most beautiful living creatures that exists in time and space, that's what they are."

"That sounds amazing. But doesn't explain why you can't take one."

"Do you know what Time Lords did with such incredible creatures? They enclosed them within a dimensional matrix, and built a machine around them. That way, they could control them. In fact, the design includes a mechanism that means that all of them can be controlled by the council."

"That's horrible."

His eyes opened. "Do you still think there are good Time Lords?"

Clara was aware that he was trying to make a point, but she just couldn't accept him calling himself a bad man.

She chose to ignore the remark. "So, you can't steal one because the council control all of them. Right. But, what if someone could steal a Tardis from the repair shop, one that is so broken that they couldn't track it down?"

"You don't give up, don't you?"

She shook her head with the best of her smiles like she had never harmed a fly.

"Look. The repair section is one of the most secure areas of Gallifrey, you just can't walk in there. And…come on, a broken Tardis? That 'someone' would be just a poor mad man."

"A mad man WITH a Tardis," she remarked sarcastically.

"Hypothetically, that's impossible. Because even if you could steal one, you still need six pilots to fly it."

"Well, what if that 'someone' is smart enough to do it alone? Or better, travel as possible, anywhere and appear at the wrong place and where his companion would not give a penny to go."

His gaze was fixed on hers, with shocked eyebrows asking without saying a single word.

"Yes. That mad man managed to steal one. You know it's true because it's parked in my living room. And as I've already said, it is very irritating to talk about you in third person."

 **If you've finished to read this chapter: thank you very much! And if you want to leave a review... that's would be fabultastic! :)**


	30. 30 - Sad eyes

**It's been a long time since the last update; I'm so so sooo sorry… please don't hate me! Hate the bad monkey instead :')  
**

 **I want to thank all of you for your patience, your reviews and your messages. You're fantastic!  
**

 **I also want to thank Whyyesitscar my new beta reader, who is doing a great work! Thank you for your patience!**

* * *

 _"Look. The repair section is one of the most secure areas of Gallifrey, you just can't walk in there. And…come on, a broken Tardis? That 'someone' would be just a poor mad man."_

 _"A mad man WITH a Tardis," she remarked sarcastically._

 _"Hypothetically, that's impossible. Because even if you could steal one, you still need six pilots to fly it."_

 _"Well, what if that 'someone' is smart enough to do it alone? Or better, travel as possible, anywhere and appear at the wrong place and where his companion would not give a penny to go."_

 _His gaze was fixed on hers, with shocked eyebrows asking without saying a single word._

 _"Yes. That mad man managed to steal one. You know it's true because it's parked in my living room. And as I've already said, it is very irritating to talk about you in third person."_

* * *

 **Chapter 30: Sad eyes.  
**

Clara lost count of time. She felt lost because of the Doctor's attitude. It was something she would never have expected to see: He watching the Tardis as something forbidden. It was his home, his way of life. Clara looked at him and saw his eyes as lost as hers.

She had to try to remind him by all means who he was; it wasn't going to be easy or nice, but then the blue box was there to help and she promised to herself not to give up on him.

It had been very difficult to persuade him to enter again inside the Tardis. She had had promised him ice cream for dessert, but Clara was pretty sure it had been an idea of the squirrel instead of him.

The first thing she noticed was that he felt uncomfortable, at least more than usual. As if disobeying the Time Lords was not an option, and he would be somehow punished.

"See? Nothing happened," she said, trying to reassure him. The Doctor fixed his gaze on the console. His hand slowly approached the keyboard but at the last moment his fingers stopped and recoiled, curling into a fist, insecure, and not daring to touch it. She hadn't seen that and instead walked casually around the place as if she owned it, trying to show him it was ok.

Finally, he looked around the ship with curiosity. "The first time we entered I didn't notice it wasn't the original design. It has been redecorated." His eyes narrowed a bit. "I don't like it. Too much dark, how could someone read without more lights on?" He said looking at the bookshelf around the ship. "But I like the books… "

Clara smirked "You know… I think I'll remind you of this later. But come here, we're almost there," she said showing him the mysterious door the Tardis had illuminated before.

He looked at the Gallifreyan symbols and his face became moody. "Of course."

"What is it? I can't read it," Clara replied, shrugging her shoulders, wondering what the big deal was.

"Why not? Do you have a problem with your eyes, that why they are so big?"

"Do you know why they're so big? To see better where I'm going to smack you."

"Why are you so interested in hitting me? I think I should start worrying."

Clara crossed her arms; he was clearly trying to change the subject. "Would you mind getting to the point and tell me what it is?"

He shut his eyes, rubbed his forehead as if to rid himself of all interest in what he had read. Finally, he said "Medical bay."

"Oh! That's fantastic!" Clara grabbed his arm in excitement; finally something good awaited them on the other side.

"No" He said stubbornly. "No no no…" he repeated, running away outside the Tardis while the ship did an irritated beep in protest.

"Come on Doctor, are you doing it again?! Seriously? Oh and you… " she pointed at the console, "don't say a word!"

Clara followed him to her living room, shocked "What's wrong? The Tardis thinks that it might help you. There must be something in the medical bay that could fix you."

He blinked in surprise and sat down on the sofa, exhausted from the short run. "Why do you use that word, fix? It sounds like I'm broken."

She looked him from head to toe. "Well, I don't know if you looked at the mirror lately but you're not in your best shape."

"I'm not broken, I'm perfectly fine, and I... don't need that," he said very seriously.

Clara sighed and sat down next to him. "Ok."

"What are you doing?" he asked, unnerved by her obstinacy.

"Sitting, can't you see? I'm waiting for your common sense to come back." She looked at her watch. "I hope it comes back soon."

The Doctor snarled; he wanted to get up, and get out of there, but his body had a life of its own and after the race had decided it didn't want to move anymore.

"Don't you have human things to do? I don't know, like download new irrelevant apps for your phone or steal your neighbor's mail."

He didn't want to continue the conversation and was frustrated that she did not understand how he felt. Minutes passed by. The Doctor hoped she would get bored and leave him alone, but it didn't happen. In fact, she had settled more comfortably on the sofa. Clara knew he suffered from hyperactivity. Patience wasn't his strong point, and she knew that in the end he would have to give up.

His face was exhausted, his fingers rubbed his eyes tiredly as he sucked air from clenched teeth. "What if..." he began without having the courage to look at her, "I don't want to be 'fixed'?"

Clara swallowed; she didn't expect that. She bit her lower lip, and tried to downplay what she just heard.

"Why not? Are you afraid?" He didn't answer her, so she continued to ask. "Of what?"

His head turned to look at her. "Of me"

Clara leaned her head on the back of the sofa. She knew that conversation was going to be long and possibly complicated. Something she expected considering that it was about the Doctor. With him, nothing was ever easy.

"I'm not sure if I want my memories back."

The sudden confession surprised her but she didn't say a word. She wanted to yell at him, to tell him how stupid he was. However she knew that wouldn't help.

"Clara, are you afraid of me?" The worst of all was that he had 'the look'. The one he put on when he knew what was going on but was not going to tell her, making her to discover it for herself. Clearly, he wasn't asking, he was making a statement.

"Do you think that if I'm afraid of you, I would be sitting here?" she remarked, feeling uneasy.

"You were," he pointed out. She was about to protest but his look of 'I know everything and you're too slow' had turned into 'Don't lie to me because I'm a lie detector with legs'. Basically, it depended on the incline of his eyebrows.

After all, he was still the Doctor, the man who didn't miss any detail about anything, including her.

"I… Look, I admit that all this overwhelms me and that is scary. I travelled to the end of the universe, survived solar explosions and Daleks and I wasn't afraid. Do you know why? Because I knew you would be at my back. Taking care of everything and bringing me back home safe."

She took a deep breath, relieved to have had the guts to tell him how she felt without thinking about the consequences.

"But now, I'm feeling that's over, and I'm fine with it, because I'm useless and who would like a useless person at his side, eh? If it were for me, you would be dead.

I lost the Tardis and I didn't even know how to deal with your lack of memory."

The Doctor looked away, his face more enigmatic than ever. "So, that's what you think about me? A man that only stays with his friends because of interest or when everything is fine? It sounds… as if I were an egomaniac person.

"I didn't say that. But I think that you have suffered a lot in the past and you try to… avoid some things. You don't like goodbyes, and you never will."

The Doctor didn't answer her, and that made her nervous, even more when his face didn't show any emotion. This version of him could be a great poker player if he wanted to.

"And that's why I don't want to know what kind of man I was."

She exhaled because she had hoped for the conversation to never go that way. Clara was conscious that moment was going to be important for the Doctor's life and she needed to be the rational one at that time. After all, he was deciding about his future. "Ok. So, do you still think you're a bad man, is that it?"

"It's more complicated than that. It's not what I think, that doesn't matter. It's what I can't hear," he admitted with grief. Clara didn't want to push him so she patiently waited for the rest of the explanation.

After a long pause he spoke again. "Clara, I can't hear them and that scares me to death," he said pointing at his head. "I can't hear my people and there is a Tardis here that is supposed to be mine. Why am I here and the rest of my people aren't? What I have done?!"

She saw a mix of emotions in his eyes: anger, despair, loneliness and... terror.

"It's ok to be afraid, but, listen. I don't want you to fill the gaps with the worst scenario. I know that you can't hear them, but I promise you, and please, please believe me, the Time Lords are somewhere… safe."

'The lie detector' stare intensified until she took his hand into hers.

"Doctor, just believe me."

"But…how?"

"Long story. Don't ask."

She saw as he looked at his hand, which was still imprisoned by hers.

"Even if that it's true… you always talk about my sad eyes. Do you know why I have sad eyes?" he asked with a worried voice. Clara was lost; she couldn't even invent a proper lie. "No."

"Neither do I. That's the point. I don't want to remember because I don't want to be that man anymore. I don't want to think about all the things I probably have done, and I don't want to remember why that made me sad. Can you see that? This is a second chance for me, to start a new life. Clara, I only remember the first eighty years of my life but I can feel that my body has over one thousand five hundred years."

"Two thousand," she corrected him, amused that Time Lords also lied about their age as humans do.

He rolled his eyes but his voice turned serious again. "Anyway, Time Lords live too much…"

"Doctor, you can't give up your memories just because you are having an identity crisis."

"Why not?"

"Because you're you, and you need to remember that. For heaven's sake, you're always telling me that humanity always makes the same mistakes because it always forgets them"

Clara rubbed her forehead.

"Doctor, I know what you're capable of and believe me, you wouldn't like to not remember that. You need to be the Doctor again."

"No having some memories doesn't imply that I'm different person. If you know me as much as you claim, Clara, you would see the same man in front of you."

She felt hurt by his words but hid it quickly. It wasn't the time to be egocentric.

"Forget about me. The universe needs you. That's who you are : the man who saves it."

"And what about me?" he whispered "Who saves me?"

Clara evaded at his eyes; perhaps he was right and she was just being selfish. He was recognizing that he wanted to forget his past and be happy and she insisted on denying it, because she wanted him to recognize her, thinking that everything would be the same as before.

However, he seemed decided about what he wanted, and he was just looking for her support in the decision.

The man who had taught her to see life differently was telling her he wanted a new life and she was refusing. What was she becoming?

"I don't agree with your decision, but… it's your choice and I'm your friend," she finally said. "I will support you whatever you choose. Even if that means letting you go. Doctor, you deserve to be happy. You don't need to be the sad man with a box anymore."

He thanked her without saying a word, and she understood and nodded, but soon her gaze fixed on his chest.

"What about your heart? You can't live forever with only one."

"Well, I suppose it's a fair price I must pay."

"You can't be serious."

Of course he was serious; she saw a determined spark in his eyes, but at the same time, she forgot about his grey hair and saw an afraid little child in front of her.

"You know what we need right now?" she suddenly said, very sure about herself. "Ice cream."

His face offered her a genuine smile. She nodded. "Chocolate or vanilla?"

"Could it be a hazelnut one?"

* * *

Of course she didn't have hazelnut ice cream and, of course, he would stubbornly ask for it. So there she was, trying to find it in the shop near her flat.

"I'm going to murder that stupid squirrel," she whispered, "but It has to look like an accident." She opened the refrigerator of the shop. "Yeah, maybe an accident with the mop… or with the toilet… or…." she picked a bag that read 'hazelnut and space caramel' on it. "I can't believe it even exists."

"Are you ok?" said a voice behind her. It was the shopper, who hadn't been able to avoid following Clara who was speaking alone.

"Yes, yes. I'm perfectly fine. I just need this for a kid who has a damn pet squirrel."

"Ooook," he said a bit worried. "Would you like something else?"

"Do you have some patience on sale?"

He smiled, a bit nervous, thinking she was just crazy.

"Sorry. I'm just stressed, that's all."

Her phone rang and she was relieved to not have to explain further to the shopkeeper.

"Hello?"

"Hi Clara, it's John!"

"Hi! How are you?"

"Where are you? No, shut up. I'm on my way but whatever you are don't go to your flat."

"Sorry, what?!"

"He's back. He was at Unit, messing around, looking for information and he got it, I'm afraid. And now he's heading to your home, looking for you"

"Who are you talking about?"

"It's the alien, the shapeshifter. He wants you two. Clara, he discovered where you live." Her lips parted in disbelief as she felt a lack of air in her throat. "You need to run away, now!" She dropped the ice cream to the floor. "And Clara, he still retains the appearance of the Doctor. Be careful"

"Oh my god… the Doctor! He is in my flat!" she ran away leaving behind everything.

The shopkeeper picked the ice cream from the floor, next to her phone, where a voice could be heard: "Clara? Are you there? Damn it!"

 **To be continued.**

* * *

 **Ok, you can hate me for not writing in a very long time... but, please, let me know if you're still interested in this crazy story :)  
**


	31. 31 - The human factor

**_Thank you for all your reviews, private messages, and support. You all are great.. even the evil monkey! hahaha._**

 ** _I also want to thank 'W_ hyyesitscar', my beta reader, for been so kind with me :) **

* * *

_"He's back. He was at Unit, messing around, looking for information and he got it, I'm afraid. And now he's heading to your home, looking for you"_

 _"Who are you talking about?"_

 _"It's the alien, the shapeshifter. He wants you two. Clara, he discovered where you live." Her lips parted in disbelief as she felt a lack of air in her throat. "You need to run away, now!" She dropped the ice cream to the floor. "And Clara, he still retains the appearance of the Doctor. Be careful"_

 _"Oh my god… the Doctor! He is in my flat!" she ran away leaving behind everything._

 _The shopkeeper picked the ice cream from the floor, next to her phone, where a voice could be heard: "Clara? Are you there? Damn it!"_

* * *

 **Chapter 31: The human factor**

Her hands were shaking so hard that it was very difficult for her to insert the keys into the lock. "Come on, come on." At last she was able to turn the key and enter her flat in haste. Not knowing what to expect, Clara ran down the hall until she reached the living room. The Doctor was with his back to her, looking out through the window.

Clara put her hand on her chest, trying to calm herself. "It's ok," she said to herself. But suddenly, she noticed a detail; he wasn't wearing the same clothes as when she left him there. "Oh god, this is not happening." she thought.

"Doctor?" Clara asked nervously. "What are you doing?"

"Have the trees always been so green?"

Clara narrowed her eyes; that could be a trick question. " Why did you change your clothes?"

The man turned around to look at her. "I was bored," he answered.

Clara wasn't satisfied with the answer, and looked around the room suspiciously. "Are you alone?"

The Doctor raised an eyebrow. "Of course not. You are here."

"Ok. Calm down," Clara thought. She had to know if the man in front of her was her doctor or the shapeshifter. It wasn't the first time she confused them and she couldn't take risks. At least, not until John or UNIT arrived on time.

"I brought you strawberry ice cream, your favourite," she lied, waiting for him to get indignant. But instead, the Doctor didn't seem to be bothered by the taste he hated most in the universe.

"It's ok," he said as if nothing were wrong. Clara began to get nervous; that wasn't right.

"Oh yes, with a lot of strawberry, mountains of it!" She tried again with emphasis, hoping that time he would react.

The Doctor approached her "Clara, are you ok?"

"Why do you ask?" She exclaimed too quickly, but with a cheerful pretended tone, hoping she would not notice how nervous she was.

"Because you look scared. What happened outside?" He advanced a step. Once again, she stepped back out of his reach. He followed, very serious, concerned about Clara's distress.

With fear and determination, she looked around, searching for something to defend herself with.

"Step back," she said, nervously pointing a finger at him.

"No! I need to know what happened to you!"

"Why do you yell? You never yell!"

"And why do you talk like someone is going to kill you?" He grabbed her by her shoulders "Calm down please."

It was a mistake. Her brain didn't think. She just was too paranoid to let him to touch her. Her fingers grabbed something and then it happened too fast. Suddenly, a metallic sound echoed in the room.

The doctor fell down like a sack of spuds. Clara was speechless. She didn't believe what she just did. "Oh my…" she said looking at a frying pan that her hand was holding. When her brain processed what had happened, she threw it and put her hands over her mouth in disbelief.

Clara kneeled next to the unconscious body of the Doctor. Just then, she had no doubt that he was her doctor. Only he would be so ridiculously stupid! With trembling fingers, she wiped fresh blood from his temple and glanced at her palm. "Oh my god, what I have done!"

She tried to wake him, patting his cheeks slightly. "Come on…" He didn't move. Didn't react at all, but at least he was breathing. "Please, please, why the hell didn't you protest because of the strawberries; you are an idiot!" she said, annoyed but very worried. "I'm so, so sorry. I… I didn't want to do that. Ok. Maybe it's not true, but not now!"

In fact, she had wanted to do that so many times, when he activated his 'childish mode' or that time when he spread his laughter around all the people of that funeral. She died of embarrassment that afternoon. But she never thought that she would actually do it, with a frying pan and… when a creepy murderous alien was on his way! "This is insane!" she told herself. "Please, I need you to wake up, or someone who could help..."

As if somebody had heard her plea, a knock sounded on her door. "Thank god," she said aloud, running to open it. "John! I need your help! I think I … " She opened the door, but stopped talking when she saw who was outside.

"Hello Clara." To her dismay, it was the Doctor. "Seriously?" She tried to close the door, but he managed to get his foot in the door to stop it from closing, and slammed it open. "Don't be rude, it's not your style."

She tried to run away from him but he was faster, and abruptly she felt hands roughly grip her shoulders and quickly pull her backwards. "How could I be so stupid?" she thought frantically, realizing that there were arms around her, holding her wrists together on her back, preventing her from running away.

Her throat tightened, as she felt an increasing fear growing in her. The arms encircled her, tightly, making it nearly impossible to move. "What..." a hand gripped her mouth, cutting off her sentence. She squirmed, her back up against this man, hearing his quick breathing.

"It's ok," he whispered, but his words did nothing to quell her fears. "You know that you can't escape, so stop fighting, don't make this more difficult."

She ignored his words and continued to struggle. He had enough and twisted her arm behind her back making her gasp in pain, muffled by his hand. "I don't want to hurt you but you don't give me another choice. Stop. Now."

She felt helpless. It was a fact that she couldn't escape from his grasp. Indeed, he was really that much stronger than her, so slowly, she did as she was told and stopped moving. Clara just stood there, trapped for endless seconds, no sound in the room but their muffled breathing.

Slowly, he decreased the pressure on her arms, but he didn't release them. Instead, he waited patiently until he was sure she was calmer. "There is no need of this. I'm here to talk." His voice was calm, deep, and emotionless, and of course, it was the voice of her friend. Damn, she hated that.

Clara felt his fingers drop from her mouth, and felt relieved for a couple of seconds until they slid down to her neck and curled around it. She gave a quick gasp and he felt the frantic flutter of her pulse beneath his touch.

"Please, please don't. You said you wanted to talk, right?" she said with anxiety in her voice, immediately regretting sounding so desperate.

"Oh come on. Do you think I would go through so much trouble just to kill you? I could have done it the last time we met."

She swallowed as she realized it was true. At that moment she wished to be with a Dalek, or a Cyberman or whatever she has fought in the past. At least she would know what to expect. However, this time was different. She didn't know how he would react or think or how much time she has left. And above all that, she hated having to face someone who spoke and looked the same as the Doctor.

"You said you came here to talk. Ok. But before you start I want you to know that all I have to do is scream," she warned him.

"And all I have to do is squeeze."

A shiver ran up her spine. Maybe she had underestimated him; he was smarter than she thought.

"So, don't pretend to be smart," he continued, aware that he was the one who called the shots. "I must admit I was surprised when I discovered you were still alive. And not only that, but you also managed to save that Time Lord. Impressive," he said as his fingers moved again over her neck. "But it means bad news for both of us."

"Staying alive is good, sorry for disappointing you," she said as she tightened her jaw and did her best not to look scared. Clara remembered perfectly that this creature considered fear as a weak point to take advantage of.

"It means that you're stubborn. So stubborn that you would be able to carry something to its ultimate consequences if you think it is the right thing to do. That could be a problem for us both."

"No. That would not work for me. You're not going to play again with me psychologically. That is not going to work twice."

He smirked. "And you know what wasn't going to work twice either?" He turned her around to face him and pinned her against the nearby wall. Clara's heart pounded against her chest, and she instinctively reached with her then free hands to his wrist, trying to pull his hand off of her neck.

He shook his head and she found herself slowly releasing his wrist, letting his fingertips stay strategically placed on the side of her neck. Something cold was pressed against her chest; she didn't need to look at it to know it was the barrel of a gun. It took great effort to act cavalier but she clenched her teeth again and fixed her eyes defiantly on his. She wasn't going to give him the pleasure of seeing her terrified.

"What?" she dared to ask.

"I'll make sure you don't lie."

And then she realized what he was doing. He wasn't toying with her; he was checking her pulse. She gulped nervously, feeling a cold sweat forming on her forehead, hoping for John or UNIT to arrive on time.

"Why do you keep his form?" she asked, knowing that she needed to keep him talking. It was all about time, as always.

"I need to keep a humanoid form to communicate with you humans."

Her face seemed confused, not understanding him, so his thumb caressed her throat. "Vocal chords," he explained.

"You can choose from millions of humans. Why on earth did you choose HIS form?!"

"I like his eyebrows. And it's more posh to have the face of a Time Lord than a human brainless primate. No offense."

Clara shook her head in disbelief. "And why the hell did you knock on the door? The bad guys never knock on the door!"

"Why not? It worked. You opened it. By the way, what happened to your friend over there? Did you two fight for the TV remote or something like that?" he smirked.

"Of course," thought Clara. He was clever, and of course, he noticed the unconscious body.

"Not your business."

"Actually, it is. I wonder how such a tiny human can do that to a feared Time Lord."

She opened her mouth and closed it again. Her brain couldn't think of a proper answer. She felt guilty and stupid.

"And now that we've left everything clear, let's talk. You know why I'm here, what I want, so where is it?"

Clara felt like throwing up; she was not ready to go through that again. She hoped not to have to get to the point so soon; she needed to buy more time.

"I'm a stupid tiny and brainless human, perhaps you have to remind me."

"Oooh, don't play games with me. I'm aware that the cavalry is coming so we don't have much time. I need the Tardis now and you are going to tell me where it is it."

As much as it hurt her, she looked into his eyes. If there was something that he had not thought of, it was that precisely that face was a weak point. She could see through those eyes, and in that moment, she didn't like what she saw in them; he was pretty sure he was going to win.

"You are dumber than a box of rocks if you think I'm going to tell you," she said, trying to form a plan in her head.

He raised an eyebrow. "My patience won't last forever, and you also know that… I'm being nice."

She felt the implied threat but that didn't stop her. "What do you think UNIT is going to do with you when they arrive?"

The gun pressed harder into her chest, making her breaths laboured.

"You…you killed their brigadier. I think they want to have some… words with you."

Then she saw it, a halo of doubt in his gaze. Clara smiled. "Of course. You were in UNIT, so you know the news. Got you," she whispered.

His eyebrows furrowed as he released her, making her cough desperately, trying to fill her lungs with air. As soon as she could, she took a step back, but then her back hit the wall.

"Of course. You were back in UNIT, so you discovered that the Doctor has lost his memories." She smiled. "That means, I'm the only person in this whole universe that knows where the Tardis is. So, you can't kill me," she said with a proud smile.

"Very good, for a primate. Still, I suppose I know a few ways to get people to talk…"

"But they won't be so effective knowing that in the end you cannot kill me."

He narrowed his eyes, annoyed. "Why can't you just tell me?! Why are you so loyal to someone who doesn't even remember you!"

"Because you forgot to add something into your master plan: the human factor."

He glared at her, and suddenly he changed his mood. "The human factor…. Oh, you are right," he admitted, stepping back, and that time it was him who was smiling.

"Oh no…" she thought, "he has that look, the 'I'm super intelligent and you are just stupid' one. What the hell was he going to do?"

He stopped. "As you said, you are the only person who knows where is the Tardis, so…" He looked down. "He's expendable."

Clara watched in horror as the barrel of the gun was lowered until it was pointing directly at the Doctor's unconscious head.

He seemed to be satisfied by her horrified look. "Got you."

"Please, this is between you and me! Be a man and don't hurt someone who can't defend himself!"

"I wouldn't have to do it if you weren't so stubborn. That defect will kill you in the end." He glared at her, angry and clearly impatient. "I don't have time for this so I'm going to count to three," he said, cocking the gun.

She felt weak. Her eyes fixed on the Doctor, her real Doctor. He was defenceless and at the mercy of that unscrupulous alien. It wasn't fair. "This isn't happening. This couldn't be happening!" she thought as her vision blurred.

"Crying is not going to save him, you know," he said impatiently as his eyes fixed on hers. She felt a knot in her stomach. Oh god, that face again, so fierce, so defiant. He wasn't bluffing; he was going to pull the trigger for sure.

"One."

"Please…" she begged with trembling lips; she was finding it difficult to talk. "He lost everything, the Tardis is the only thing he has left. You can't take that from him too."

"Clara, at this moment, he only has one thing left: his life. It's in your hands to save him or not."

"I can't, please, I can't. I just… can't!" she whispered, unable to speak louder.

"Two."

She tried to speak but words didn't form correctly. Her brain was overflowing with emotions and it couldn't think properly.

"Three. Time is up," he said, "you know… I wonder if a Time Lord can regenerate with a bullet in his brain. Let's find out!"

"No! Please! Don't!" she yelled, horrified as he started to pull the trigger. She just couldn't stand it any longer and everything stopped around her seemingly frozen in time. A thousand emotions flashed over her face, shock and fear featuring the most often, but then, a familiar sound echoed in the room that made her stop and look up. It was the sound of a door.

Clara glared with hope to the door of her flat, waiting to see John or someone of UNIT, but it was closed.

"Clever. Very clever to be honest," he said, smiling. "See, it wasn't so hard."

Clara didn't understand it, but she followed his gaze and found out. The invisible doors of the Tardis were opened, revealing her interior.

Her heart skipped a beat as her eyes widened, surprised. "No, no, no. This can't be true. Why did you do that?! You stupid blue harpy!" she thought, incredulous and furious at the same time.

The fake Doctor lowered the gun. "Time to go," he said, heading to the Tardis. Without thinking about how stupid it was, she ran to the door and put herself between the Tardis and him. "You won't enter inside," she said defiantly.

He laughed at her. "Oh yes, I will. Come on Clara, don't be so stubborn. I have what I want and you have your Doctor, everybody wins. Don't spoil it," he warned her.

She put her arms in the doorway, blocking it. "I said… I won't let you in." Her gaze was determined. She had failed the Doctor in the past; she won't let that happen again.

"I won't say it twice. Get out of my way."

 **To be continued.**

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 **Don't be shy. Leave a comment if you want to :)**


	32. 32 - Under my protection

**Thank you so much for your reviews, PM, and followers of this story. Seriously, I appreciate your interest!**

 **I want to thank my beta reader, Pridia, for her endless patience and time helping me with this chapter so fast. You're great! :)**

* * *

 _"Time to go," he said, heading to the Tardis. Without thinking about how stupid it was, she ran to the door and put herself between the Tardis and him. "You won't enter inside," she said defiantly._

 _He laughed at her. "Oh yes, I will. Come on Clara, don't be so stubborn. I have what I want and you have your Doctor, everybody wins. Don't spoil it," he warned her._

 _She put her arms in the doorway, blocking it. "I said… I won't let you in." Her gaze was determined. She had failed the Doctor in the past; she won't let that happen again._

 _"I won't say it twice. Get out of my way."_

* * *

 **CHAPTER 32: UNDER MY PROTECTION**

His head hurt so much, he didn't know if it was the blow he seemed to have taken without even seeing it coming or the images that were crossing through his mind at full speed. Images that he had thought to be forgotten, phrases, sounds and even faces. Somehow that hit on his head made him realise something he should've known earlier.. He didn't get the chance to contemplate this as his mind was soon bombarded by more flashes of images and sounds. He clenched his fists.

An image flashed through his mind. An angel of stone, standing in the dark. " _Don't blink!_ "

" _Exterminate._ " How could he have forgotten about the Daleks, Davros, even Skaro. " _No more…_ "

The pain intensified. He hoped for some happier memories. " _Would you like a Jelly_ baby _?_ " He could clearly see his Fourth self saying it.

" _Bananas are good._ " Oh yeah, that was better. He could remember his Tenth self telling Rose that it was important to take a Banana to a party.

He saw images of the people that used to travel with him, Susan, Barbara, Ian, the Brigadier, Jo, Sarah Jane, Jamie, Romana, Rose, Jack, Martha, Amy… He could see many faces.

" _We're all stories, in the end._ " He heard his Eleventh self say in the distance.

And of course, he remembered Clara Oswin Oswald, his impossible girl. The girl whose heart he had broken by forgetting who she was. In the same way as he had broken his own hearts when he had to remove Donna's memories of himself.

He cracked his eyes open only to close them again, the light was blinding. He tried it again, and this time everything was blurry. He slowly lifted his hands to his temples, desperate to rub them. But when his fingertips were almost touching his skin he immediately regretted doing it.

"Argh… not a good idea." He murmured.

The room was spinning around him and he began to feel cold and nauseous. With all the strength he could muster, he managed to stand up, using a nearby chair for support.

"What happened?" He thought aloud. "Clara returned, and she was distressed and…" He looked around the flat, but nobody was there.

His legs began to fail and he had to cling more tightly to the chair.

"Stupid heart." He murmured angrily. Clara was right, he was not going to put up much longer with only one.

Exhausted, he took a deep breath as his gaze fell to the floor, what he saw made him forget about everything, including his sick heart and the mental row he had thrown at the inventor of the frying pan.

The only thing he was focused on was the bloodstain. It was recent, worse, it was a trail. Now very worried, he followed the scarlet liquid until he saw the body it was coming from, lying on the wooden floor of the flat.

"No…" The adrenaline began to flow uncontrollably through his body, which helped him to run towards her. He knelt, ,,he couldn't believe it, didn't want to believe , he called her hoping that his eyes were betraying him.

"Clara!"

Quickly, he turned the body. "Clara, say something!" He took her wrist and he felt a bit relieved when he found that she still had a pulse. He started to inspect her body, a large red stain soaked her blouse at the level of her belly. For a moment, the Doctor felt conflicted. He needed to see the extent of her injuries but at the same time wasn't sure if he wanted to see them. Where was his sonic screwdriver when he needed it? He wanted to know what he was facing but at the same time wasn't prepared to see it.

He didn't want the last memory he had of Clara to be her battered body.

"No." He shook his head. "This won't be the last one. It cannot be!"

He waved his fingers nervously. "Stupid Doctor. Focus. Be logic!" He took a breath of air and slowly lifted the cloth. Under it he could see a bullet hole tearing her skin. The Doctor looked away and exhaled a few more times deeply. He had only needed a look to know that it was quite serious.

The bullet had shattered his friend's little liver.

"This is not good." He looked around desperately and saw that next to him was the coffee table. His hand picked up a small tablecloth and made it a ball. "How could this have happened?" He murmured while he pressed it hard on the wound, trying to stem the bleeding. At least, the bullet went straight through.

A whisper took him out of his thoughts. "Doctor?"

His eyes looked up to meet hers, just as they cracked open a bit. "Clara, I'm here."

"Don't be. You must stop him." She didn't want to be alone, not right that moment, but she tried to contain herself.

There was something more important at stake, and she had to tell him that.

"The shapeshifter is in the Tardis. You need to stop him!"

"Do not strain, don't even talk, and don't waste energy." He told her sternly.

"He's stealing the Tardis! Forget about me!" She said more urgently in a higher pitched voice, this made her cough roughly.

"Shhh. Clara, stay still," He said pressing harder on the wound. "That doesn't matter now."

"Don't hush me! And how does that not matter?!" Clara was surprised and worried.

"Doctor, seriously. I know you can't remember it, but one day you will, and I can assure you, you'll regret letting him go!"

"Clara, this is more urgent in my list of priorities!"

"There is no time for this! Can't you see it?!"

"Never tell me that there is no time, there is always time, I'm a damn Time Lord. I laugh at the time! I can do with time what I please!" He yelled.

Clara looked at him. He was frustrated, angry and desperate. It was a bad combination for him. She knew that face very well, it was the reflection of self-destruction.

"It was you who told me that it was not the time to think with the heart but with the head. To forget the sentiments and be logical."

"Believe me. I'm trying to do that." He lied.

"No, you don't." Her voice sounded desperate. "Never give up, never give in."

Clara didn't mean to hurt him, she just wanted him to reconsider the situation. But those words had hit him hard, and she saw it. She could see the pain in his eyes.

"Doctor, please. You have to leave me before it's too late."

"Never." He told her stubbornly.

With the last remaining strength, she put her hand on his, trying to calm him. "I'm just human, and I'm dying." He opened his mouth to object. "No, shut up. I'm going to die, and there is nothing you can do. I didn't sacrifice myself so now you sulk and let him escape, do you hear me?"

"Nobody asked you to do it." It was his anger speaking, not him. Clara knew it. Somehow she had to make him see reality. "Doctor look at me." He didn't obey her. He was completely lost in his thoughts.

"I know you are angry and I understand that. But please, don't be sad. I need you to know that these have been the best years of my life. I regret nothing, and I wouldn't change a single day, not even this one. You are the best man I know, and I just want you not to feel guilty. Not a single day! So, please." She exhales tiredly. It was becoming more and more difficult to breathe. "Run you clever boy…" She could not finish the sentence. The Doctor knew perfectly well what happened every time Clara said that he had seen it a thousand times, and was unwilling to watch her die again. Not with his Clara.

"Don't!" He said stubbornly. "You are not going to die! Not here! not like this! and surely, not on my watch!" He said in a mixture of anger and fatigue.

"Don't be ridiculous. You can't stay here to watch me die and let the Tardis disappear! I don't even want to imagine how many people will die because of this stupid decision! People you will never rescue, worlds you'll never save" She took a troubled breath "Because you stayed to watch a small, ridiculous human die. There is no reason for this. Please…"

"There is always a reason." He tried to argue.

"That you are an idiot."

"Apart from that. Clara. You are… under my protection." He removed the blood stained cloth and threw it away from them. With determination, he placed his hand directly on the wound.

"Doctor, what are you doing?"

"Something stupid, something forbidden and… something ridiculous. But you already know me, that's the kind of things I usually do."

She looked down at his hand, which was pressing hard on her belly. "Doctor." She muttered, sucking in another shaky breath. "I know you hate farewells, you would run around the universe just so that you don't have to say goodbye. I even begin to doubt that you know how to say it. But please, let me go and move on." She looked into his eyes "Say goodbye. For once in your life, don't shun things."

The Doctor's face softened, he even smiled a bit "You're right as always, I indeed don't like to say goodbye."

"What?" She looked again at his hand. It was glowing, a very familiar orange glow. "No, no no no. Don't. Doctor! Don't you dare! Stop it now!" She exclaimed as she realised what he was doing.

"Oh, Clara..." He said sadly.

"Don't you dare! No! Don't waste your regeneration energy on someone unimportant!" She shrieked.

"Unimportant?" He asked indignantly.

"For God's sake, even if you don't remember it, you're the Doctor, the man who saves people. The universe needs the Doctor Don't waste your energy on a little and expendable human girl!"

"You are right. You are a little and expendable human girl. But do you know what? You're my little and expendable impossible girl, and I am the Doctor. Do you think I chose that name because it sounds important?"

"Yes." Then her brain caught up. "Wait a minute. Impossible girl? You can't remember that, can you?"

He smiled crookedly.

"Seriously?"

"Apparently… my head just needed a monkey with a frying pan." He winked at her.

Clara was perplexed and couldn't quite believe it yet. "It sounds a bit… cartoonish?"

"Perhaps. Your turn." he told her, all serious now.

"For what?"

"Frying pan time."

The intensity of the glow of his hand increased and she felt the energy entering into her body. Instinctively, her hand gripped his wrist, she needed to hold something.

Then she understood what he meant by her turn. It felt as if she was stabbed with little needles all over her body.

"Hold on," He ordered. "and be still."

"I can't." Clara bit her lip, hard. She wanted to scream. But at the same time, she was ashamed to do it in front of him. Clara took refuge in his eyes, it was absurd, but he looked so sure of himself that it comforted her. She didn't even dare to blink so she wouldn't lose sight of him.

"You don't need to be brave. Scream if you have to." He said as if he could read her thoughts. "Do you think I don't know what it feels like?"

He looked away to inspect the wound, making Clara feel lost. She couldn't help it when an uncontrollable and wild scream came from her lips.

The Doctor looked at her sadly, "Clara! Clara! Open your eyes." He instructed her insistently.

She hadn't even realised she had closed them, but ...

"I don't want to…."

"Clara it's ok. It's over."

She felt his hand rubbing her belly, and started following it with her eyes. Slowly he removed it,

The wound had disappeared.

"Look at that. Now you have a new liver. Don't do scuba diving in the coming days nor balloon trips. Oh… and the most important thing of all: Don't be scared if it changes its color." The jovial tone had returned, Clara thought that it was a good sign. "How do you feel?" He asked softly

"I…" She touched her belly, still trying to process what had just happened. "I… " She tried again, but she just couldn't form words.

"Come on Clara, it was the liver that failed you, not your vocal cords." He scoffed "Also, we still have the second part."

"Second part?!" Clara's eyes widened in shock.

"Yes, yes, it's critical. You have to expel the residual energy." He explained, quite worried.

Clara looked at him, not sure what to do. "Ok. And how do I do it?"

"It's something natural, you only have to exhale it. That's it. Just do it."

Clara raised an eyebrow and shook her head in disbelief. But the Doctor pressed her to do it.

"Come on, take a deep breath."

She did what she was told and exhaled heavily. Nothing escaped her lips but air.

"Clara. Focus. Think about it. Visualize it. Can you imagine it?"

"Yes yes, I remembered you doing it. A bit blurry I'm afraid, after all, a Tyrannosaurus was chasing us at the same time, and I wasn't paying much attention."

He rolled his eyes. "It's perfectly possible to get chased around by a dinosaur while regenerating. Ok. Now try again."

She did it one more time, but again nothing happened.

"You are doing it wrong." His voice sounded annoyed.

"Doctor. Stop. I know how to exhale, ok? But I just can't expulse it." She sounded frustrated.

"But you have to." His face was very serious.

"What if I can't? What if expelling regeneration energy only works for a Time Lord?"

The Doctor ran his fingers through his crazy gray hair, it was evident he hadn't thought about that.

"Perhaps it's the right thing to happen." She admitted defeated.

He grabbed her by the shoulders as if he were quarreling with a little child. "Clara, just try harder!"

She gave him a swipe to let her go. "Stop! This isn't working, and you know it!" They looked at each other in silence, not knowing what to say.

After a while, Clara broke the silence.

"Doctor. What is going to happen to me now?" She asked in a petite voice.

"Nothing, because you are going to expel it ."

"Tell me."

He rubbed his face, trying to find the correct words, but found none capable of soothing the situation.

"It will burn you from the inside." He said softly.

She exhaled again, this time very tiredly. "And now what? We just wait for that?"

"Clara, which part of 'I am the Doctor' don't you understand?"

She frowned, she was not sure what he meant by that. Was there any way to save her? If so, why were those big blue eyes looking at her so worried?

"Clara. This is very important. I need you to tell me the truth." His voice was uncertain and barely audible as he whispered. His tone didn't comfort her at all. "Do you trust me?"

"Doctor, this is the second time you ask me that, and let's face it, the first time didn't end very well." She stated, aware that her voice faltered as she spoke. "The last time you got into my mind because you didn't trust me."

He lowered his gaze to the floor, ashamed.

"But my answer hasn't changed."

It was a weird situation, Clara could see that he wasn't worried about what he was going to was something else that she couldn't quite grasp. Her hand touched his cheek, trying to comfort him.

"Do what you have to do." She told him gently.

He looked up and nodded. Slowly, with some hesitation, he moved his fingers, as if he was trying to concentrate on doing something tremendously complicated.

Finally, his hands cupped her cheek. "Take a deep breath and, whatever happens now, just… let yourself go."

"Why d…" Without her expecting it, he silenced her with his lips, kissing her hard. It wasn't a passionate kiss, just a hard press of his lips against hers.

"Doc…tor?" She murmured against his lips, without understanding the meaning of him kissing her, she wondered if it had any meaning at all. Somehow, he ended up laying on his back, and without knowing what had happened, she found herself embracing him.

Her brain tried to make her aware that something was moving inside her belly, but she didn't want to pay attention, not when the kiss was turning into a more rough and passionate one.

But there was definitively something was going on.

Her chest felt extremely hot, making her sick as breathing became more and more difficult and not just because she was snogging a Time Lord.

The Doctor was right, it was burning her from the inside.

She was so hot, she felt like she was boiling!

Clara started to panic as the pain inside her increased and she tried to pull away from him, but he pressed his hand on the back of her head, not letting her break the contact.

'It burns!' Was all she could think. She knew that he had noticed her distress and… What the hell was he doing with his mouth? 'Wait… where did he learn to kiss like that?! Ok. Yeah, two thousand years old.'

At that moment she was feeling a mixture of emotions. She was aware that the Doctor was trying to distract her from her pain, and he was certainly succeeding.

A burning sensation ran through her throat, he pulled away abruptly from her, as if he was scalded.

Between tears, she gasped for air desperately. The Time Lord cupped her head in his hands. His eyes scrutinized her from top to bottom.

"You kissed me?!" Said an astonished Clara.

The Doctor made a disgusting face. "Humans… of course not! I did an energy transmission." He told her indignantly.

"So, now you have it. The regeneration energy, right? Doctor, it was burning, you need to expel it!" She exclaimed in an urgent tone.

"Not yet." He said through clenched teeth, clearly in pain.

"You told me you could do that! Please, tell me you have not done something incredibly stupid!" She almost screamed.

The Doctor fell to the floor next to her. Something was happening to his own body. He groaned, trying to control the energy now flowing through his body. He had not taken into account the collateral damages, he had only thought of saving Clara without thinking that the energy would find a new body to repair. It was residual energy, but just enough to make some small fixes without starting regeneration. That, at least, is what he thought. 't can work but could also burn a healthy organ.' He thought as the burning sensation increased in his was nothing he could do about it anyway, so he just wished for the best.

"Doctor!" Clara was very worried now.

She tried to help him but her body refused to move. She was too exhausted to do anything.

The Doctor groaned again, the pain had gone away but he could still feel the residual energy in his body.

"It's ok. I… oh… this is weird." His hand rubbed his chest, where he could feel two hearts beating. He frowned "No… not that color. Ok, that's better." he murmured as he could feel his heart temporarily change colour.

Suddenly, his body convulsed and a puff of yellow energy escaped his mouth, dissolving into the air, slowly. He lay back down on the ground.

He just lay there for a moment listening to his heartbeat, something he hadn't quite been able to listen to for ages.

"Oh, Clara… I almost forgot how it feels to have two hearts again." He said through labored breaths

In a rapid movement and without stopping to rest, he got himself into a sitting position. "Welcome back my dear 'righty.' I missed you so much!"

He turned to look back at Clara, who had been claimed by tiredness. The Doctor moved her unconscious body in the posture he considered the most comfortable.

Satisfied with the result, he looked at her with what seemed to be a halo of tenderness.

His fingers dug into her hair, caressing it. He didn't know if he had acted correctly or if that would have consequences, but for a little while, no matter what the consequences would be, he let himself feel relaxed.

He was about to stand up when he felt something cold and metallic pressing against his skull.

"Don't even move." Said a voice behind him.

The Doctor took a deep breath. He was too tired for dealing with anything right now.

 **To be continued**

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 **Thank you very much for reading this crazy story. I remember you that the review button is here :)**


	33. 33 - John Smith

**Thank you very much for your comments and reviews. You are great and I really appreciate your words! And the evil monkey too... :D**

 **I want to thank once again my dear beta reader, Pridia, for her help and her patience and even her humor xD**

 **Also, I want to dedicate this chapter to Gemmaroberts39 for cheering me up and... well, she knows why!**

 **I hope you all like this chapter!**

* * *

 _Satisfied with the result, he looked at her with what seemed to be a halo of tenderness._

 _His fingers dug into her hair, caressing it. He didn't know if he had acted correctly or if that would have consequences, but for a little while, no matter what the consequences would be, he let himself feel relaxed._

 _He was about to stand up when he felt something cold and metallic pressing against his skull._

 _"Don't even move." Said a voice behind him._

 _The Doctor took a deep breath. He was too tired for dealing with anything right now._

* * *

 **CHAPTER 33: JOHN SMITH**

"I should kill you here and now," Said the voice behind him, very angry. The worst part was that the person who it belonged to sounded very sure of them self. "but I think it would be a quick death, you don't deserve that after what you have done."

"John… I think you're precipitating." The Doctor said.

"Precipitating?!" The Doctor felt a stab of pain as the gun pressed harder against the back of his neck. "You killed Clara!"

The Time Lord looked down at the girl's body, puzzled. She was lying in a pool of blood. He looked at his own hands, they were bloody, also he was the only one who was with her. You needed to be Sherlock Holmes to not get a wrong idea of what had happened.

"It's not what it seems…" He started saying but was cut off by John.

"Shut up! Don't make this harder for me." John was nervous, his tone deceived him.

The Doctor was trying to think fast of a reasonable explanation. In fact, he began to be worried about his well being because Smith had most likely a very good reasoning to shoot him, especially since it looked like he was the murderer, on the scene of the crime.

"Please, don't be a cupcake brain and tell me that you don't believe I'm the shapeshifter, do you?"

"You. Killed. Clara." John said through gritted teeth. "I don't even know why I still haven't pulled the trigger yet." He said and adjusted his fingers on the gun, it felt heavier than before.

"You haven't done it because you're not a bad man." The Doctor said, as persuasive as he could.

"Or maybe I'm just an idiot." John sighed.

The Doctor bit his tongue, keeping himself from agreeing with him. After all, it wasn't the best moment to make him angrier. He couldn't see his face, but he could feel his determination through the hard pressure on the back of his neck, and he could hear his breathing which betrayed just how angry he was.

"John…" He whispered, trying to sound as harmless as possible. The human was on edge, a wrong word and the Doctor was sure that he would shoot. "You just have to look at her to see that she's still breathing."

"I'm not that stupid. I won't take my eyes off you. I know what you're capable of." He said sternly but with concern.

"Listen. I know you're afraid. Now, you doubt about what is good and what is wrong. But I want to think that you still have honor."

"Shut up. Why the hell cannot you be quiet?" Apparently, John was starting to lose his patience.

"I am incapable of being silent. It should be an irrefutable proof that I _am_ the Doctor …" He stopped talking abruptly as he heard the gun cocking, a chill ran down his spine "I want to believe ... that you wouldn't shoot an unarmed man in the back. You have been taught to be better than that."

"You are very wrong about the training they give us in UNIT." John said warningly.

"I didn't mean that. Look. I know you want to believe that it's me, but I also know that you wouldn't hesitate to shoot the shape-shifter. I understand your dilemma, but please, be fair, at least let me try to prove that I am the Doctor." He said as he could feel his heartbeat speeding up at the idea of being executed by a friend. "John… Do not make a decision that you may regret the rest of your life. Just give me a minute to explain this, just one, then you can do whatever you want."

The Doctor didn't receive an answer immediately. He really hoped that the other man would consider it and allow him to explain. After all, that was his last option for seeing tomorrow.

After what seemed like hours, he felt the pressure on the back of her neck disappear for a moment, leaving him some room to move.

"Get up" John ordered him.

He didn't want to make sudden movements so he slowly got up and turned around to face John, who was still pointing the gun at him. He looked as miserable as he felt.

"You have thirty seconds. And if you don't convince me, I swear I'm going to shoot." He said as he shifted his weight, clearly nervous.

"Of course you would." The Doctor was aware that this wasn't a bluff, so he tried to be very quickly. "Don't worry I will have time."

He wet his lips, nervous, wishing for his plan to work. It was simple, but he wasn't sure how John would react to it. "Ok. Here we go: Your name's not John Smith." He stated with a winning look.

"Seriously?" The other man asked surprised. "That's your secret weapon? To reproach me again that I have a common name? Honestly, as a plan, it kinda sucks."

"I told you the first time we met. And you know what else I told you then? That I've seen your face before."

"The shapeshifter had access to UNIT recordings. It might have seen that conversation. Sorry, but this doesn't help you." John answered, adjusting the gun nervously in his hand.

The Doctor rolled his eyes. "Yes, you're right. But do you know what the shapeshifter didn't have access to? My recognition of your face."

John narrowed his eyes suspiciously. "If you were the Doctor, I would tell you that that is impossible because we didn't know each other before that first meeting."

"I _am_ the Doctor, and I would recognize that stupid face wherever I went." John looked at him confused. "Okay, not at that time, you know I was busy with a global threat, and also you have an incomplete face, but thanks to Clara's pan, now I know it."

John was shocked. "What the hell are you talking about?"

"Oh please. Stop pretending. I'm not sure about your first name, but knowing the lack of imagination that your family has, I would say that it's actually John. But your surname isn't Smith, is it?" The Doctor pointed his finger at him, smiling triumphantly. He was enjoying this moment. "Your actual name is John Lethbridge-Stewart."

Very slowly, the Doctor put his hand on the gun's barrel, which was almost touching his shirt. John was astonished, not only because of what he had just heard but also because he hadn't been aware that the Doctor had approached him without him noticing.

"Do you still want to shoot?" The Doctor asked.

John looked at the hand holding the gun. Slowly, and obviously affected, he lowered it. "I'm sorry." He whispered. "I'm so so sorry." you could clearly hear in his voice how terrified he still was what he had been about to do.

The Doctor took a deep breath, relieved. "It's ok."

"No, it's not. I almost killed you!" John argued.

"You did what you had to do. You had to make sure I wasn't the shapeshifter and honestly, I prefer this to another blow with a pan."

John looked at him, puzzled. "By the way, did you just say that I have an incomplete face?"

The Doctor exhaled tiredly. "You have the same face as your grandfather. But…well..." He grimaced. "You don't have a mustache. It's weird. You need one."

The other man smirked. "That's not going to happen."

"Nevermind. Listen," He put a hand on John's shoulder. "You can call yourself whatever you want, and the mustache ... we'll discuss it later. But now I need you to be a Lethbridge-Stewart and help me."

* * *

The Doctor was gripping the footboard of Clara's bed, barely able to keep standing now he was starting to realize just how close he had come to losing Clara. Sometimes he forgot the fragility of humans, so weak and so ephemeral, but at the same time so full of optimism. Something that he lacked. Losing Clara was something he knew he could never overcome. He would go to the end of the universe to prevent it from happening, and yet he had been about to lose her in her _own home_.

He felt guilty. Many times he wondered what would have happened to the people who traveled with him if he had never appeared in their lives. If he had never asked Clara to go with him, she might not have been about to die half an hour ago. Maybe she would have a normal life, doing human things, even with other humans. But he knew something for sure: She would be safe, she would not be in any danger. Maybe it would have been better.

"She's fine," John said as he held Clara's wrist and looked down at his watch. "Her pulse is regular. Her blood pressure too, even her pupils react as they should. I think all she needs is rest." he concluded.

"Are you sure? Have you checked everything? I don't know if I should trust a cupcake brain."

John rolled his eyes. "Unlike you," he pointed a finger to himself. "This cupcake brain has a degree in human medicine. Besides, you still haven't told me what happened. Are you going to do it?"

"No." The Doctor stated flatly.

"At least can you tell me what happened to the shapeshifter? Where is he?"

The Doctor stared at the floor, very tired after everything. "I guess he's in the Tardis."

"The Tardis? And where is the Tardis?" John asked surprised.

"Hey, if you're going to ask where everything is, the day is going to be very long. Besides, I have a more important question," He said, letting go of the footboard and advancing to him. "How come you're a doctor?"

"Why not?"

The Doctor blinked several times. "Sorry? Why not? You are a Lethbridge-Stewart. Your genes make it incompatible. Besides, the Brigadier would never have allowed his only grandson to not be a soldier."

He expected some retort, even an insult. But John didn't answer; he actually seemed hurt.

"Disappointed?" The human finally said.

"On the contrary; surprised. How is it possible? It's an anomaly." The Time Lord asked in wonder.

"You're right." John whispered while sitting on the bed.

The Doctor raised an eyebrow, he felt a bit uneasy that he had touched a sensitive topic, but he waited patiently for an explanation.

"My grandfather wanted me to go to the military academy. He did everything he could to make it happen. He was convinced that I had to go to that stupid place. He also said that if I wasn't a soldier I could not call myself a true Lethbridge-Stewart." He rubbed his forehead anxiously. "Doctor, I was only a child. I didn't want to be a soldier. I want to help of course, but not in the battlefield. I… I was scared. Is it so bad to be afraid?"

The Doctor looked at him with what looked like a bit of sympathy. "Oh... Being scared is part of human nature, and perhaps of other species as well. I would actually say that being scared is a superpower." His gaze fell down towards the floor as he sat down next to him. "John, the Brigadier was a self-opinionated idiot, but he was a good man."

"Yeah, I know, I know. Perhaps I was just a coward. Perhaps I wasn't up to scratch. I've always wondered if it was a wrong decision. "

The Doctor chuckled "Do you know what a wrong decision was? The surname Smith. That was a ridiculous mistake. " John smiled at that. "What happened after that? Because you evidently aren't a soldier."

"One day he just, changed his mind, I guess he got tired of insisting." John shrugged.

"Liar. The Brigadier would never…" The Doctor stopped talking for a moment as if he had just realized something important. Then he went on. "Look, I want you to pay close attention to my next words, because I'm not planning to repeat them outside this room, and if you ever tell them to anyone, I'll deny it until the end of time." John raised an eyebrow, not quite knowing what to expect. "You're not a coward. You never were. You have to be brave, and be ... a doctor to contradict the Brigadier. However, your grandfather maybe was too rigid with some things," The Doctor narrowed his eyes while speaking "Well, with almost all things ... rather, but in all that doesn't mean that he wasn't well made." He looked away. "And I'll tell you something else. Don't have the slightest doubt that you are the man who has saved the world."

"Thanks for trying to cheer me up, but I haven't done anything," John said unenthusiastically.

"Do I look like I'm cheering you up?" The Doctor quickly walked to the mirror in Clara's room to look at his own face. "Oh, not bad, no. I don't have one of those 'faces'. For a moment you scared me. Well... Like I said, you're wrong. John, you saved Clara when we got back from the ship. And ... I'm alive because of you. You saved my life. You are ... a Lethbridge-Stewart."

"You're right. You owe me your life." John smirked mischievously.

"Don't overdo it. I have saved the world more times." The Doctor snarked at him.

"Yes, but ..." John started to argue.

The Doctor cut him off quickly. "And back to the beginning of this conversation, I'll never admit saying this out of here." He said pointing his finger around the room.

John smirked. "Even so. Thank you. It means a lot to me."

Then the Doctor looked back at Clara, and the discomfort returned to his face.

"Oh, Clara... She was right. I hate goodbyes." He murmured to himself, however, loud enough for John to hear.

"Doctor, I told you she's fine," John told him reassuringly.

"I know, but… It was so close... Look, she will be fading in and out. It's part of the… process." He said, heading to the door.

"Wait, hold on a minute. Why are you telling me this?" John frowned.

"Because ... it's time." The Time Lord said barely above a whisper.

John quickly followed him into Clara's living room, where, to his surprise, the Doctor snapped his fingers and an invisible door opened in the middle of the room.

"Whoa... That's the Tardis?! Was it there all the time? Hey! Wait! You can't enter alone, you said the shapeshifter was in there!"

John stepped inside the ship and then realized that it was some different from how he remembered it, at least its enlightenment. It was much darker, all the lights were turned on red, and the primary monitor was still on showing the emergency protocol message.

The Doctor turned towards John as he realized the human had come with him, obviously annoyed. "What part of 'taking care of Clara' didn't you understand?"

"Doctor…" John started

"No, don't take another step. I mean it." The Doctor said seriously.

John raised his arms defeated. "Okay, okay. But why?"

"Do not make any sudden moves." The Doctor said slowly.

"Where is the shapeshifter?"

The Time Lord looked at him very seriously but said nothing.

"Please tell me he's not behind me."

"No, rather ... beneath you. But don't look..." It was absurd, he knew that John would look anyway, and that's what he did. Under John's boots was a pile of charred ashes. Quickly he looked up at the Doctor, frightened. "Oh my God, how..."

"She's angry and... with an emergency protocol activated. Don't do anything to irritate her. Don't even breathe." The Time Lord instructed.

"What?!" John exclaimed indignantly.

"Yeah well... humans... ok, you can breathe but not too quick." The Doctor relented.

The Time Lord exhaled heavily and turned again to the console. "Hello, my old friend. It's been a long time, but I see that you haven't wasted it, uh? But now it's over." He pressed some keys on the keyboard, deactivating the emergency protocol. The red lights turned white again, and the alert message on the screen disappeared.

Then John took a deep breath. "Is that all? Can I... move?"

"Yes, get out. And... look after Clara." He instructed John.

"Doctor, don't do this, you can't leave her behind!" The Doctor gave him a look that made clear he wouldn't change his mind.

John raised his arms, surrendering. "What do I say to her when she wakes up?"

The Doctor looked up in silence, but after several seconds he shook his head, coming up empty "You'll think of something." he said trying to sound reassuring.

John was disappointed and incredulous, but reluctantly, he left the box. Knowing that there was nothing he could do.

Then, the Time Lord typed down new coordinates, but to his surprise, the ship erased them from the monitor. "Please, don't be childish. I have to do this." The Tardis made a disapproving sound. "I get it. You're annoyed. But this is important." Apparently, the Tardis didn't agree with him and disconnected the signal to the monitor. He pushed it aside furiously. "Come on! Don't do this! I had a hard time deciding to do this, don't spoil it!" The ship protested again making an annoying bass sound. He leaned against the console, defeated, knowing that that was not the way to convince her.

"I know you'd do anything to protect me, you've done it countless times. And I also know you think this is going to hurt me. Well, you know what? Yes. It's going to hurt, this is going to tear me apart, and it will leave me scars that will never heal. But... I must do it. I've been running away from this moment, but now... I... have to do it now. "

The Tardis was silence, but all the monitors were still disconnected. "You once told me you don't take me where I want to go, but where I need to go." His hand placed on the central glass tube. "No matter how much you protest, no matter how angry you get, you know I have to go there... please, be my friend." For a moment he thought the ship was just going to ignore him, but then the lever turned itself, and the rotor of the Tardis began to move.

"Thank you." He whispered and started to fly her towards their next destination.

 **To be continued.**

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 **Where is the Doctor going? And more important... if you liked it, please leave a comment and let me know :)**


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